tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36267905294974364042024-03-05T09:54:12.628-08:00Whispers in the DarkIt's not a sin to love your job.Nightscreamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08241679908254552393noreply@blogger.comBlogger71125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3626790529497436404.post-1907485717275972682013-04-15T20:12:00.000-07:002013-11-16T20:19:24.202-08:00Nightscream's dead. <br />
<br />
I don't know what else I am supposed to say. Not that I haven't written an obituary before. I've had far more experience than should ever be needed. But it's different now.<br />
<br />
I barely knew Sam. We had been through so much together, but I rarely felt like I ever got past the surface. He kept everything close. His last name, his gender. These are both secret I'll keep for him (I'm only using He because he deserves far more than a pronoun as demeaning as It) and were really only mine because I forced them out of him one way or another. And those were the trivial things. I can't say anyone is qualified enough to really know anything about Sam.<br />
<br />
Except that he deserved better.<br />
<br />
I don't blame him for what happened. I can't blame him. I finally read some of his diary. Which starts normally enough, but ends up twisting as the guilt began to eat at him. The words start to slant, morph. Until it seems that an entirely different person is writing.<br />
<br />
In a world where many of you are hunted and the others are by no means safe, I think we forget sometimes that the Monsters in the world aren't the only things we need fear. Our own minds are just as full of horror as what lays in the dark. <br />
<br />
There are few things I know about Sam, but I know them well. I know he was clever, and steadfast. That he cared deeply about those close to him. And that only a great evil could take away his determination. And his amazing will to survive in even the worst of circumstances.<br />
<br />
He deserved better.<br />
<br />
He didn't get it.<br />
<br />
And that is all our faults.<br />
<br />
-David BanksNightscreamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08241679908254552393noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3626790529497436404.post-86028765554539952352013-04-12T21:48:00.000-07:002013-08-22T18:29:05.712-07:00this is my goodbye<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/0pAu0y1gwCQ?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<br />
<br />
perhaps it is better this way <br />
<br />
no dramatics. no <a href="http://fateworsethandeath.blogspot.ca/">misguided sacrifices</a>. no <a href="http://getdownlow.blogspot.ca/">final showdown</a> of good vs evil. no <a href="http://liveinthelightfight.blogspot.ca/">delusional hero worship</a>. no <a href="http://youpaywedeliver.blogspot.ca/">runaway trains</a>. no final <a href="http://11minutestomidnight.blogspot.ca/">acceptance</a> or awakening. no <a href="http://dreamsindarkness91.blogspot.ca/">disappearing acts</a>. no <a href="http://themorninghunter.blogspot.ca/">explosions</a> or <a href="http://tellthemisaidiwasgoingtoamerica.blogspot.ca/">lethal experiments</a>. no <a href="http://helpingthosehelpthemselves.blogspot.ca/">spray of bullets</a>. no attempt to <a href="http://themadspeak.blogspot.ca/">fix the past</a> or <a href="http://ishudderfromhope.blogspot.ca/">at some grand idealist message</a>. no... <a href="http://whatyouareinthedark.blogspot.ca/">touching sign off</a> or... <a href="http://measuredliveswithcoffeespoons.blogspot.ca/">ultimate betrayal</a>...<br />
<br />
except that which i am going to do against myself... and against... David and Em...<br />
<br />
they deserve better than what i'm about to put them through<br />
<br />
<br />
i'm so sorry<br />
<br />
<br />
but i've just... i can't... spend another day like this. i've already spent far too many. pretending. pretending that i'm not... in pain... every minute of every day. pretending... that this guilt inside isn't tearing me apart. isn't eating me alive. isn't... festering and boiling and bringing my own sickness to life right before my eyes like pus from an infected wound... pretending any of this can even be... fixed... in any way...<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>"What aren't you telling me, Sam? </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>I can tell you're hurting." </i></div>
<i><br /></i>
<i> "...Some days are better than others, David...</i><br />
<i> today is just... an 'other'..."</i><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
my days... my days are mental mindfields.<br />
<br />
and if i trip... if i... trip... one of the so many strings... then i... then...<br />
<br />
<br />
it's only snarls of expressions and chilled cruelty.<br />
<br />
it's only... guilt and pain. as much of it as words can make...<br />
<br />
when coming off familiar tongues<br />
<br />
<br />
Joseph<br />
<br />
Leo<br />
<br />
Shooter<br />
<br />
Alex<br />
<br />
Requiem<br />
<br />
Owen<br />
<br />
Jordan<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
those are just the ones you'd know<br />
<br />
<br />
just the ones you know... who appear as real as flesh before my eyes. built of guilt and agony that threads so deep i just... they're real to me. and they've been... slowly killing me. slowly strangling every breath of air. slowly... eating away at my mind... with every word that i write in my journal... every... sentence... only makes them more real...<br />
<br />
and, despite the torture of each word... every second of 'company' that feels like hours...<br />
<br />
in some sick way that i can't... even hope to understand... <br />
<br />
<br />
i don't want it to stop<br />
<br />
i don't want THEM to stop<br />
<br />
i can see them<br />
<br />
hear them<br />
<br />
watch them move around<br />
<br />
it hurts so much but... they're there...<br />
<br />
they're... there...<br />
<br />
<br />
i can't... i can't do this anymore<br />
<br />
i can't stay torn like this<br />
<br />
it hurts too much<br />
<br />
it just hurts too damn much<br />
<br />
<br />
i'm sorry, David.<br />
<br />
i'm sorry, Em.<br />
<br />
<br />
i tried really hard this week. tried to make it a good one. a good... last one. with the three of us. it was... nice to see you both smile. that's all i wanted to do this week. was to make you both smile. make you both... happy... before i go. you deserve that, you know. to be happy.<br />
<br />
know that... it's nothing either of you have done. or didn't do.<br />
<br />
<br />
no one could have helped me.<br />
<br />
<br />
because i didn't want it. not for me.<br />
<br />
i've stayed this long for you<br />
<br />
only for you<br />
<br />
because i didn't... want to hurt you<br />
<br />
but i'm not saving you from anything, am i?<br />
<br />
this whole time... i've just been... prolonging the suffering... <br />
<br />
<br />
i've taken measures... to make sure i finish this. its ending here. now.<br />
<br />
please don't blame yourselves<br />
<br />
please just... try to understand...<br />
<br />
<br />
i want this<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
i want... this...<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
goodbye <br />
<br />
<br />Nightscreamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08241679908254552393noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3626790529497436404.post-42161788013269884272013-04-09T12:30:00.000-07:002013-08-22T18:28:52.112-07:00"Something"<br />
it's been... a very long time since i cooked for anyone.<br />
<br />
<br />
takes a while to remember how, but so far no fires, which i guess is a plus. i didn't used to have time to cook in the Service, but i know how. had plenty of experience. Alex and i used to share cooking duties. whoever got home from work first had to cook. but the cook never cleaned. so it evened out. Alex... used to always say i was better with food. i always used to say it was Alex...<br />
<br />
<br />
Leo... never had much in the way of complaints<br />
<br />
<br />
apart from sandwiches, David is... clueless in the entire area. takes to the fast food menus faster than anything else. which is typical of our line of work... or, i guess, what used to be our line of work. most proxies don't even survive the first few months. why bother eating as though you have a future in store?<br />
<br />
but... after our fight, i did... tell David i would try something <br />
<br />
cooking was "something"<br />
<br />
"something" that i could do to help. which i do so little of around here.<br />
<br />
"something" that could fill time. occupy my mind.<br />
<br />
"something" i could do with Em<br />
<br />
<br />
i remember i scared that girl something fierce when we first came face to face. when she came into my room at the beginning... the beginning of my... "recovery". i was refusing to eat back then. refusing to talk. Em... did what kids do. started asking a million questions. wore down my patience which fell away into anger. i threatened her. the thought of actually hurting her had come to mind, only because it would have hurt David. and i wanted to hurt David at that point. because he was hurting me. by keeping me alive. stopping... every attempt i made to end it all...<br />
<br />
but she just kept asking questions<br />
<br />
i had a... bit of a meltdown<br />
<br />
started hearing HIM again<br />
<br />
i nearly did hurt her<br />
<br />
i could have killed her <br />
<br />
but she ran<br />
<br />
i'm thankful she did<br />
<br />
<br />
it's... difficult. being around a child. not far from what Leo's age would have been. i get... lost... sometimes. thinking. but i've been trying to help her with her... reading and writing when i can manage it. and math. trying to encourage her to ask questions. to question. anything. not to take things for what they are, but to wonder. to think. expand. theorize and discover. i've been trying to support that... but i'm not exactly a good ambassador for it... <br />
<br />
i just... do what i can these days.<br />
<br />
<br />
now she helps me with cooking. i've been teaching her how to read recipes, which is really all you need to do to make anything you want. the experimenting has already been taken care of - just follow the directions. not hard. and Em seemed... interested enough. liked making cookies especially. ran off to give a few of the first batch to "grandpa". she's... a good kid. idolizes everyone's favorite assassin. that much is plain to see.<br />
<br />
its a shame that there's no possible way for her to escape The Life. she'll be involved. one way or another. <br />
<br />
i just hope she doesn't make our mistakes.<br />
<br />
especially mine<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
its... spaghetti and meatballs tonight<br />
<br />
just hope i can remember Alex's recipe rightNightscreamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08241679908254552393noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3626790529497436404.post-71363429750194692952013-04-07T21:50:00.000-07:002013-08-22T18:28:07.256-07:00it's raining todayas it has for the past few days<br />
<br />
<br />
it doesn't seem like all that long ago that it was sunny. a small, bright patch amongst the gray in my mind. sitting in front of this very same window. letting the rays wash over me. warm me. stir awake some part of me that was in a coma for so long. a part of me that smiled and joked with David when he walked in. curious by the sound of music playing. explaining with a smile just as warm as the rays were that that - music - was what had come first for him too. back when he had been rebuilding. back when... he'd been where i am. to which "a million times kinder than thinking" had been my little add on. only to then ask if he'd mind sitting down if he was planning on joining me. so as to save me a crick in my neck from having to look UP at him all the time. kidding him of how he'd grown fond of such a thing.<br />
<br />
he seemed genuinely happy<br />
<br />
complimenting me on my music choice<br />
<br />
<br />
i was listening to Kenny G<br />
<br />
<br />
most people know of David's... love for pop music. Ke$ha. Pink. or even something from High School Musical. but... really, he listens to anything. likes anything. which was good for me, as pop has never really been my thing. but it wasn't... the kind of music that was important. having any music at all on was an improvement in his eyes. and it was. least it felt it at the time. the day felt... like i was taking the first breath of fresh air that i'd taken in years. it felt like... a beginning. like i had turned a corner in my life. in my recovery. i felt warm. and though the nerves still twitched beneath my skin... i, perhaps, didn't feel so... transparent. so worn through. used up and ringed out. <br />
<br />
being able to sleep can truly work wonders sometimes<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
it was also the day... that i began a journal<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>"So this thing you're trying... </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>It has to do with the 'sins' you feel you haven't paid for?" </i></div>
<i><br /></i>
<i> "...Something like that, yes.</i><br />
<i> I know that... for the most part, I've suffered enough. </i><br />
<i> I've lost enough. </i><br />
<i> Those I murdered in the Service </i><br />
<i> were allowed to have their last laugh when I...</i><br />
<i> broke to pieces under R-Redlight's boot. </i><br />
<i> So many of the words I used were... </i><br />
<i> nearly borrowed from the last moments of my own victims. </i><br />
<i> But they at least had last moments.</i><br />
<i> I never did. </i><br />
<i> It just went on and on and on and it just... </i><br />
<i> got worse and worse every time...</i><br />
<i> for them, I paid my due. For most, I have. </i><br />
<i> But that still leaves a few on my shoulders. </i><br />
<i> And I can't... run from that. </i><br />
<i> I can't hide. </i><br />
<i> I just... have to try. </i><br />
<i> The best I can.</i><br />
<i> And I thought writing might...</i><br />
<i> help me face it.</i><br />
<i> Or some of it, at least."</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>"...Is it too soon to hug you again?" </i> </div>
<br />
<br />
a little... writing experiment... to try to deal with my past <br />
<br />
<br />
David was so... amazed at the time. proud even. that i'd decided to try something on my own. baby step, though it was, my ex-assassin friend didn't allow me the chance to downplay it. going on about how he'd only been able to hope i'd start doing things on my own. admitting that he hadn't even been sure that i'd ever get to that point. that most wouldn't. that most didn't even come close to going through as much as i had. leave alone get to the other side and have the motivation needed... to reach past all the negativity and simply try. try something. try anything.<br />
<br />
<br />
anything to help sort through the mess in my head. and maybe find some logic. some... solid ground. maybe.<br />
<br />
<br />
it was the first time... i really started to feel comfortable beneath my own skin. <br />
<br />
David and i must have talked for hours that day. i struggled with my words as always, but David was patient with me. as he always is. affording me the time to piece what i wanted together. holding my hand much of the time. contact that i welcomed. even sought out, sometimes. my own rope tied to the dock when the waves of memories start pulling me away. tipping my concentration one way or the other. threatening to send whatever fragile focus i have sliding right off the deck and into the black and bloody waters below....<br />
<br />
but now... <br />
<i><br /></i>
<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>"One hobby, Sam. Just one. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>That's all I ask. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>And the journal doesn't count. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>It lets you wallow. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>Just one hobby." </i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i> "...Once upon a time, </i><br />
<i> not that long ago</i><br />
<i> you were HAPPY I was writing again."</i></div>
<i><br /></i>
<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>"Mhm. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>Fantastically happy.. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>But now, it's all you ever do. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>And it's no longer helping you. </i> </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>You've been pulling away, Sam. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>Do you really think I don't<b> </b>see that?" </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<br />
David and i... had a fight today<br />
<br />
he was... pushing me. trying to... explain to me just how much i had going for me. that my own disability made me... useless to nearly everyone. i could leave, and no one would call me back. that i could do anything i wanted. go anywhere i wanted. that i could travel the world. that i could even return to teaching. to the classroom.<br />
<br />
i cut him off at that thought<br />
<br />
telling him that i could never teach again.<br />
<br />
adding just enough bite in my tone that... i thought... i'd get my message across<br />
<br />
but he just... kept pushing. saying i could do something else then. anything. going on about how he was sure that i had an excuse as to why i couldn't do any of it, but that i had to do something. more than just sitting in my room writing in my book all day... he said that the thought of me leaving - of not needing him anymore - upset him... but that it was something i had to do. something... i had to move forward towards...<br />
<i><br /></i>
<i><br /></i>
<i> "...I don't... see me leaving, David.</i><br />
<i> I've seen enough of the world.</i><br />
<i> There's nothing out there for me."</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>"Nothing out there yet. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>You think you've seen it all, </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>or at least all that you want to see. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>But wait long enough, and something will spark you. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>You have a clean slate, Sam. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>You don't want to waste it here with me. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>And I certainly won't let you." </i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
i felt... suffocated by those words. swallowing hard to get past the lump in my throat. i tried but failed to keep my front up. eyes dropping to my lap where my fingers picked at my own sleeves. a small... nervous habit of mine...</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<i> "...You don't understand.</i><br />
<i> You're... not trying to gain back a life, David. </i><br />
<i> You're making one. </i><br />
<i> One... you never had. </i><br />
<i> I was... normal before. </i><br />
<i> The Organization turned me into a Soldier. </i><br />
<i> Now I'm... supposed to be normal again...? </i><br />
<i> It's cruel. </i><br />
<i> Way too cruel..."</i><br />
<br />
<br />
and David refused to let my gaze go. lifting my chin back up.<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>"Then don't be normal again. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>I know you think you're useless, but you're not. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>You've got your mind, your will, you compassion. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>It's all there, even if it's shattered. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i> Melt it down and make something stronger. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i> If you can't go back... don't. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>Make something. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>I always wondered what it would be like </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i> if you stopped feeding into your hopeless worldview </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>and CREATED something. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>You think I'm impressive? </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i> I'd be nothing compared to you.</i>" </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
i closed my eyes</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
and said the same thing i've told him so many times over: I'm trying.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
silence stretched... and then i pulled out of David's arms... and reached for my journal. i just... felt so stressed. i needed to write. i needed...</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
but David grabbed it from me... and threw it out the window </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
that's when the real yelling started</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
i just wish... it would stop raining.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br />
if only for a little while...</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
but it just keeps pouring down<br />
<br />
<br />Nightscreamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08241679908254552393noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3626790529497436404.post-13584580009452685242013-04-06T21:25:00.000-07:002014-02-06T22:06:49.561-08:00running the gauntlet<br />
it was there when we woke up yesterday morning<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
thick cardstock<br />
<br />
winding, neat, almost branch-like lettering across ivory<br />
<br />
the message not meaning much of anything aside from the implied authority of the time and place listed<br />
<br />
<br />
the specifics, as per usual, were semantics<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
honestly, David and i had felt on edge for the few days prior to that...<br />
<br />
least then we knew why<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
The Author wanted to see us.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
you always tended to Know when he did<br />
<br />
<br />
David, of course, wanted nothing to do with it<br />
<br />
tore up the paper and threw it out<br />
<br />
<br />
as if that meant anything<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b>"Ah, Mr. Banks and Sam Freeman."</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br />
<br /></div>
<br />
we had to go <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b>"I hope the trip wasn't much trouble."</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br />
<br /></div>
<br />
i can remember... trying to run from him before. i did it twice. a long time ago. the first time would have been... after i'd done away with Dimme. i knew right down to my core... that i couldn't run. that there was no where TO run. but i did it anyway. it would have been my second audience with The Author... and perhaps that's why i was so certain that only death awaited me in that stifling office. an office that held the same stagnant air as that of a tomb...<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>"Come in... Sam Freeman, was it? Right on time.</i><i> </i><br />
<i>I assume that you'll have no problems with me addressing you by your name, </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>considering it's one of the few things we actually know about you. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>Unless you'd like to be called by your title...?" </i><br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br />
<i> </i><i> "...You can call me anything you want... Sir."</i></div>
</div>
<br />
<br />
the first time had only proven to what degree of shit i've been thrown into. to what level these people - proxies - operated. how it was all... just business. that's how he had said it, the first time. how he knew of Dimme's attitude. her... hobbies... and he was apologetic for it, but it was what it was. and it was just<i> business</i>. making sure i realized that the situation could have been easily avoided... and my future suffering could have been avoided as well. at the time, just that little spark of hope of getting away from Dimme... it had seemed so tantalizing... but, for it, i'd have to fill in... everything that i'd left blank in my history...<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> <b> <span style="font-size: x-small;">David's first words were bitten off.</span> "What do you want?"</b></span><b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br />
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> </span></b> </div>
<br />
and i couldn't do that.<br />
<br />
<i><br /></i>
<i> "...Every action has a reaction. </i><br />
<i> By withholding information, I've made it more...</i><br />
<i> inconvenient for you and this... business...</i><br />
<i> So you make it ten fold harder on me. </i><br />
<i> I understand..."</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>"You misunderstand." </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i> that tone came as a command. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>"It's not out of spite. Far from it. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i> You're not being punished. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i> In fact, I find your case rather... interesting. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>And I... can certainly appreciate the value in keeping </i><br />
<i>your past life away from prying eyes. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>I empathize with you, Sam. I am not heartless, </i><br />
<i>despite my colleague's assertions of the opposite. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i> But I have the lives of many, many people on my hands, </i><br />
<i>and Dimme is loyal to our cause. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>But are you?"</i> </div>
<br />
<br />
i was much different back then. still trying to make the adjustment. still trying to fully grasp what my life had become. where i was and why. still trying... to build my wall up against this living nightmare. still trying to adjust... how my mask fit over emotions that i couldn't risk showing anymore. and in that office... it was twice as hard. hard to glance across the massive hardwood desk that did nothing to dwarf the man seated on the other side with eyes that dug too deep. that saw too much. that took everything to just... not react to. to let every word. every topic. just roll away.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><b>i... couldn't manage a greeting anything more than a nod.</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><b>tension seeping into my nerves by the second.</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><b>the air held the same charge... the same... burning chill... as Redlight</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><b>i knew it would, but to actually...</b></span><b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> </span></span></b></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
and it still wasn't good enough<br />
<br />
i wasn't used to being the center of anyone's attention.<br />
<br />
i wasn't used... to even talking anymore. not at that point<b>.</b><br />
<br />
<br />
Dimme always used to tell me that pawns had nothing worth saying.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i> "I... suppose that Depends.</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i> ...is the Cause for His profit? Or your own...?"</i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>"Think about it logically, Sam. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>What would I have to gain to devoting my life </i><br />
<i>to an Organization that mobilizes the proxies </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>and gathers them under one commonality, </i><br />
<i> that gives them food, stability, shelter, and companionship? </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>Their loyalty...? I'm sure you've gathered that I don't need it." </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i><br />he never blinked. or didn't seem to. <br /><br />"Our cause is not His cause, yes. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>But that is because the Creature spreads </i><br />
<i>pain, confusion, and suffering everywhere it goes. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>I do not pretend that I understand the Slender Man, </i><br />
<i> nor His whims, </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>and I have been followed by Him for my entire life. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>But I think that a cause that aims </i><br />
<i>to reduce casualties is a just one. </i><i><br />"Of course, such a nest of thieves, brutes, and liars </i><br />
<i>can't function without a slight bit of honesty. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>So I'm going to ask you to be honest with me. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>You'll find I'm a reasonable man, Sam, </i><br />
<i>when I'm given the opportunity to be. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>Can you tell me anything about your past life </i><br />
<i>if you knew it would never leave this office?" </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
i remember thinking... about how tired i was. i didn't even know how long it had been since i'd been picked up off the side of the road by other proxies. the ones that looked at me as if i'd just drop down from mars. a guppy. not anyone who was going to stay around for long, for sure. and in that office, the weight over me felt doubled. tripled. the time i'd spent in the "business" already just... blurring together. could have been a week. could have been a month. it would have felt exactly the same.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> "My apologies, Sam, for my causal relationship in regards to your discomfort.</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">But I assure you, what you're feeling has long been associated with me</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">before Redlight was even a glint in some Monster's eye.</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">You'll also have to accept my apologies, David.</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">But the reason that I've called you both here is simply to talk. You see...</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">You two are simply some of the only Proxies left. </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Aside from the ones under the new Organization's protection, of course, </span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">and the free agents. </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Though the latter make poor company,</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">as I'm sure you're both aware."</span></b></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
i remember thinking... of how much it hurt to even move. Dimme's work fresh across my abdomen.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
i wasn't cut out for this</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
i knew that</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
it wasn't who i was</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
wasn't anywhere near it</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Darkseeker and his group had known it from first seeing me </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
i was a joke</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
just a joke...</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
but who was going to protect Leo if i didn't?</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
i had to make it work</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
somehow</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<i> "...Why do you even give a damn?</i><br />
<i> I'm not... like you people. </i><br />
<i> I'm not a liar. Or a brute. Or a thief. </i><br />
<i> I have no place here.</i><br />
<i> I vowed... to serve HIM, I didn't... </i><br />
<i> I didn't even know what a Proxy was. </i><br />
<i> One of the three that picked me up - Darkseeker </i><br />
<i> He had to explain it to me. </i><br />
<i> And this... business. I didn't realize...</i><br />
<br />
<i> ...But I'm here. I was brought in. </i><br />
<i> I'm doing as I'm told the best I can manage... </i><br />
<br />
<i> ...why isn't that good enough...?"</i><br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> "...You needn't apologize."</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"> quiet and flat. as i always am these days.</span></span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> "I knew what I'd... feel here. Far from our first meeting, after all.</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Though I... we're.. barely what I'd consider Proxies anymore, Author. </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I lost that connection a long time ago now. </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">The... mentality... never really leaves of course, but..."</span></b><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<i></i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>"... I'm sure it's hard for you to understand, Sam.</i><i><i> </i></i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>And I'm sure you've made sacrifices. We all have.</i><i> </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>But mutual respect and trust </i><br />
<i>is the only way survival can happen, </i><i> </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>and the only way we can have that </i><br />
<i>is if we can tailor your experience with us </i><i> </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>through information about the person you used to be. </i><i> </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>There's no other option. </i><i> </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>You will either earn your independence</i><i> </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i> and, to a certain degree, your freedom, </i><br />
<i>though simple honesty... </i><i> </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>or you will earn it through trials by fire.</i><i> </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>It's your choice." </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
and then he said it</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
the one thing that would make me trip, no matter how tightly i was trying to keep it together.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
i suppose... he took a shot in the dark. though a logical one.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
after all, what is the one thing that can make someone go through absolute Hell in order to protect?</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>"... You know, Sam... my son is listed in my file." </i><i> </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> "You're too kind. But despite what Redlight says, </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">I firmly believe that a loyal servant of the Creature will always be as such,</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> at least if they so choose to be. He'd say that makes me foolish, </span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">and I'd be hard pressed to disagree. </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">But what is a man but the sum of his mistakes? </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Something I'm sure you're currently struggling with, no doubt. </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">It's a shame the conditioning didn't hold, Sam. </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">It would've solved quite a few...</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Problems."</span></b></div>
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
it had been... like someone punched me in the stomach. i couldn't breathe. the only thought circling around and around my brain like water down a drain was that He Knew. i didn't know how much, but he knew. somehow. at some point. i'd twitched. or tensed. or looked away. or looked up. or shifted or maybe froze. somehow he knew... and i nearly broke. i nearly... started begging for him to leave it alone. to leave my baby boy alone. that i'll do anything. anything, if only he just...</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
the only thing that stopped me... was his own voice continuing. telling me how this boy of his was raised in one of "those dreadful camps" where they... "beat reverence of the Thin Creature into you." adding that he didn't know his mother. going on about the different stories that he was sure i'd been told about him. what manner of monster he was, and assured me that he wasn't about to deny that. that we were all monsters when we needed to be. that we all did what we had to do, for good or for bad. but if i were to ask him... if he regretted letting his son be used as a puppet for someone else's game... then his answer would be yes. every day. he could have raised him under his wing. kept him in control. but because The Author... wished to dedicate himself completely to his cause, his son grew up without him...</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b> "....I'm sorry." </b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>Those two words again. </b></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>Words Red had given me a LOT of practice using. </b></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>"I... I'm sorry. I... I didn't mean for any of this... <i>any</i> of this. </b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>I didn't.... i never... It all... got out of hand so fast. Too fast.</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>I tried to control the spiral, I did... but..."</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-size: x-small;">i swallowed hard. eyes down. picking at my sleeves.</span></b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-size: x-small;">a nervous habit of mine. </span> </b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>"I couldn't. I... tried, but I couldn't and then I just...</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>I wanted Out. It was HELL and I just... wanted Out... i thought...</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b> I thought he'd kill me when I challenged him.</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>I thought it would be over. I...</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>I didn't want... to help cripple the Organization like I did. </b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>I never liked it, but it wasn't my intention to destroy it. </b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>It had its purpose, it...</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b> I'm sorry..."</b></span></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
it was a clever game really...</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
bringing up his own son</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
to try to find common-ground with a new recruit</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
all to jimmy the lock... if only a little...</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
</div>
<i></i><br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>"You may wonder why I chose to tell you this. </i><i> </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>You probably think I'm lying.</i><i> </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i> I don't blame you.</i><i> </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i> I suppose I'd like for you to avoid </i><br />
<i>making this transition any worse.</i><i> </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i> Plenty of proxies lead rich, fulfilling lives, </i><br />
<i>thanks to us.</i><i> </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i> I want you to be able to be happy here,</i><i> </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i> but the fact of the matter is that </i><br />
<i>we're in the business of making monsters.</i><i> </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>I can't help you at all if you don't let me.</i><i> </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i> So, do you have anything to tell me, </i><br />
<i>or am I just wasting my time?"</i><i> </i><br />
<i> </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i><br /></i>
<i><br /></i>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">"We know."</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">David's arms come around my shoulders from behind my wheelchair. </span></span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Simply, casually, supportive. </span></span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">"No one here blames you."</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Protective.</span> </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">"Well, I don't blame you. I guess I can't speak for <i>others</i>."</span></b><br />
<i><br /></i></div>
<i><br /></i>
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
black or white.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
that's what he was telling me</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
and the choice had to be made then and there</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
there was no secret that i was exhausted.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
pained.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
scared.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
and he had the authority... to change that...</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
if i let him </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
if i gave him what he wanted</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br />
<br />
<i> "...I was a high school teacher."</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
i didn't want to die. and, die, i would. least if Dimme had anything to say about it.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i> "No... training. No military service..."</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
i had to survive. for Leo's sake. even if survival meant... giving up a few details...</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i> "No... criminal record </i><br />
<i> besides a few speeding tickets when I was a teenager. "</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
then i could do that<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i> </i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i> </i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i> "Stable parents. Stable... life, really. </i><br />
<i> For the most part. I was lucky." </i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
as my last hope<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i> "I was good at my job. </i><br />
<i> I liked... teaching kids... </i><br />
<i> i... wanted to help..." </i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
but only with a few details<i> </i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i> "But it doesn't matter anymore. </i><br />
<i> None of it is going to help me here. Or help you." </i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
only a few </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i> "I just... don't... want to go back to Dimme..."</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
only a few...<i> </i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i> "Please."</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b>For a brief second, his expression was stunned.</b></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b>As if... not fully believing what he was hearing. Seeing.<br />I don't think he ever heard me apologize before.</b></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b>And then, for the first time ever in company... he took a sip from his own whiskey.</b></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b>"...It would've happened with or without your involvement, Sam. </b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b>David is completely correct.</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b>Yes, it's a shame, but it was far from unexpected. </b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b>If I was to blame someone, </b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b>it would be the Monster that orchestrated this whole mess..."<br /><span style="font-size: x-small;">He rose from his seat, pacing slowly.</span><br />"The Monster that serves the Creature,</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b>who has had a shadowy part in the Organization's operations since I founded it,</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b> much to my increasing chagrin. But as you both know, </b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b>it's impossible to keep Valtiel out of any business that he wishes to be involved in.</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b> Though how far his influence spreads is a mystery, even to myself..." </b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b><span style="font-size: x-small;">Another pause, as he takes a deep, steadying breath.<br />Such shows of uncertainty and emotion are rare from him.</span><br />"Rat. Contessa. Baron. Legacy. </b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b>All names that likely mean nothing to you; </b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b>all what you used to call the "Highest", now missing or dead. </b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b>And though I'd hardly call them my friends, </b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b>they were my esteemed colleagues.</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b> Due to my miss-steps, my neglect, </b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b>some of the most powerful people known to man, </b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b>gone in an instant. </b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b>Forced into hiding or worse. </b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b>You both have nothing to apologize for."<br /><br /><span style="font-size: x-small;">When he laughed, it was near jarring; </span></b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b>not in that it sounds wrong, like an imitation, </b></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b><span style="font-size: x-small;">but rather in how <i>bitter</i> it was.</span><br />"We all had our own reasons for co-operating, </b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b>and I'd never be naive enough to imply that they all had noble intentions. </b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b>But the way things are now... </b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b>I'd like to believe that, perhaps, collectively, we were doing good. </b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b>But I digress. </b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b>You both aren't here to listen to the ramblings of a tired shell of a man. </b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b>I figured as the sole survivors of the olden days, </b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b>as the last ones standing, </b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b>well, you deserve a few answers."<br /><span style="font-size: x-small;">He winces, then drinks.</span><br />"If you want them, that is. </b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">It's really no trouble, given the circumstances."</span></b><br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><br /></i>
<i><br /></i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i> "... I appreciate you trying to work with me, Sam, </i><i> </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>but the reality is, things like that don't matter much. </i><i> </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>We have to know who you were before you got here. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>What you were doing when He found you, preferably. </i><i> </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>Who you were traveling with. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>All the parts of your recent history that you left blank. </i><br />
<br />
<i>Maybe... we could start with something small. </i><br />
<br />
<i>We've assumed... </i><br />
<i>you were at a hospital not long before we found you. </i><br />
<i>But, with the Creature's tendency to move people, </i><br />
<i>we can't be sure where. </i><br />
<i>Can you tell me which hospital it was, Sam?" </i><i> </i><br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
it took a moment for me to realize... how utterly screwed i was. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
how fast the door had slammed shut on what was, admittedly, a very naive hope.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
i wasn't going to be earning any favors here. the only place i was going was back to Dimme. there was nothing that was going to stop it. no one... that was going to stop it. i was going to die amongst these people. in this business. this... machine of monsters. and it wasn't going to mean a damn thing to any of them. they would just... continue right along. Dimme would just shrug her shoulders. call me weak. no big loss. just a guppy, after all...</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i> "I... I'm sorry for wasting your time."</i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>"... On the contrary. </i><br />
<i>It was a pleasure speaking to you, Sam."</i><i> </i><i></i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br />
<br />
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></b>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">"...I'd like to hear whatever you have to... to say. </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> After I... broke free of his strings the last time before... </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">before David intervened to free me... </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Redlight allowed me to... </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">remember... </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">most of what he'd blocked from me</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> as I watched myself dance under his will. </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Most of what I remember from that is... fire. </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Blood. A hive of voices...</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">For a long while, I wasn't even sure... </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">anything was left of the Organization at all. </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">...How much is left? </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">How have you been... managing it...?"</span></b></div>
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
the door had burst open... and strong arms closed around me. twisting. yanking me to my feet. i was... startled, at first. but only at first. letting myself slide back behind my wall. numbing them out even as i felt my stitches break. numbing them all out. all the world. and yet... i still managed to hear The Author when he told me to inform Dimme if i ever... had something to tell The Author. that she'd follow procedure. that she... knew better than to not... and then the air seemed to constrict. the proxies - my kin - took notice of the change and dragged me out and away.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
i never asked Dimme to speak to The Author</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
she'd be dead before i returned to that office</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
and, return, i did. with my head hanging low and arms tied behind my back - merciless of the fact one of my shoulders was no longer sitting in the socket. step bearing a definite limp. nose broken and bleeding, accented by black eyes. all gifts from the very kin who dragged me forward by my arms. might very well have been the same ones. but, of course, those were only the injuries that i had gained upon my "arrest". everything that Dimme had done during our last... altercation... had its own lasting effects...<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">"... Not nearly enough.</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Not nearly enough is left. </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">A great deal of raw manpower was lost to the Network, </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">and having all our other sectors wiped out </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">in one fell swoop has obviously caused problems. </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">The Proxies that are left are simply under our protection.</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">'Assignments' are obviously not feasible after all,</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> so now they lack leadership and focus.</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">At least with the old system, </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">those who were recruited by the Organization </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">could function almost normally, or at least openly. </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Now, we're back to back-alley dealings and petty bribery. </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">And then there's the issue that the Proxies that are left are displeased </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">that we provide assistance to Runners as well.</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> Not that this practice is anything new, </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">but I suppose they need someone to blame. </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Really, the whole mess is rather barbaric, isn't it?"</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
i had run, of course. not that had helped me any. condition being what it was, it didn't take me all that long to get myself cornered.<br />
<br />
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
and like a stray... i bared my teeth and fought<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>"...Why wasn't he killed?<br />Why wasn't he stopped...? </b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>Of all those that were held and managed under the Organization... </b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>why did he slip through the cracks? </b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>Was it really that... that easy to overlook...?</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b> The system blocked so much of us, so MANY of us... </b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>there were threads everywhere... </b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>why wasn't he stopped? Why? </b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>He could have been. </b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>It didn't have to come to this. </b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>It didn't...</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>...Why was he left to get this far? </b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>Was it... simply because he was yours...?"</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
my head was swimming under that presence again. everything spun over itself. twisting and churning. i barely... noticed being taken over to the desk. the seat. steadied on my feet as they took a moment to remove the rope around my wrists... and popped my shoulder back into place. my body folding from the sharp twist of pain... but that worked just fine for them. pushing me back into the waiting chair. keeping a hand there just long enough to make sure i wasn't planning on passing out quite yet... and then they left in a silent rush. eager to get away from the vibrations in the air that only stirred my mind around more and more...<br />
<br />
when my eyes opened - though i hadn't been aware of closing them - the first thing i saw was a glass of whiskey waiting on the desk in front of me. i could see my reflection in the glass. just a no name nobody. bloody in black. a mess of torn fabric. i could have been anyone at all...<br />
<br />
beside the glass, an open folder was slid across the desk<br />
<br />
at the top, the very first line read: Renee Alberta Flynn.<br />
<br />
just underneath, it read something much for familiar: Dimme.<br />
<br />
one by one, The Author placed photographs on top of the file. slowly covering it up in a gruesome collage of blood, organs, and bone. each one featuring a different detail... of my own work. each one from a slightly different angle that brought a twitch into my fingertips in memory... of what it felt like to FINALLY pay back some of what she'd done to me. all the times she drugged me. paralyzed me. and then cut into me. DISSECTED me. removed PIECES of me and sown the damage back together... then expected me to perform the very same day...<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> "Because they can't save <i>anyone</i>," <span style="font-size: x-small;">David spits. </span> </span></b></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
she didn't think i was strong enough<br />
<br />
smart enough<br />
<br />
she was wrong<br />
<br />
lethally wrong<br />
<br />
and that felt... wonderful. <br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>"You're proud of your work, I see." </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
i felt his stare on me, but i didn't want to meet it. i didn't want to acknowledge it. if i did, then i'd have to face whatever punishment he had in mind for killing off one of his precious agents. for struggling from the chains he himself helped fasten around me, as if his word was law. as if his word was His Word.<br />
<br />
i had a thought at that moment... of what it might be like to string up someone like The Author from his very own chains<br />
<br />
and then another thought came forward... that i might just be going goddamn insane<br />
<br />
in all honestly, the thought somewhat intrigued me<br />
<br />
after all, where had sanity gotten me?<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> "You're not entirely incorrect.</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">The Organization as a whole was never meant to be seen </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">as a method to do such a thing. </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Of course, what our Agents stated independently </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">was a different matter altogether, </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">but it would have been unrealistic to try </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">and control every implication and outright lie. </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">We were harboring murderers and delusional fanatics, </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">and chasing after social deviants.</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> That, David, is just a matter of knowing your audience.<br /> </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">You must remember that my goal - no, our goal, </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">was never to save lives.</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> It was to minimize damages, on all sides.</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> Anyone who believed otherwise </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">simply did not see the wider scope of the Organization's actions.</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> The 'Assignment' system specifically allowed for control of </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">local economies, political parties, the law, </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">and, most importantly, the media. </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Exponential growth meant more control, </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">and more control meant that we could reduce the Creature's spread. </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">But that was all... a sum of parts, if you will.</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> A small part of the bigger picture. </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Let me assure you; it is a lot more complicated than 'save' and 'not saving'. </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">I wouldn't expect you to fully understand the repercussions of such measures </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">being even temporarily out of commission.<br /> </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">As for 'mine', Sam, I don't know what you're referring to.</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> But if you're asking how Redlight's rise to power was allowed to happen,</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> I'm simply not able to tell you. </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">All that I can say for certain is that our files were either tampered with</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> or the plans to create such a creature had been in motion for a long time.</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> Either way, someone, or something, obviously put a lot of effort</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> into convincing us that the Storyteller,</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">though a powerful Proxy that was in desperate need of re-acquisition,</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> was not anything more than that.</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">I personally wonder why the Runners were so accepting of Teller at the time, </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">but then again, I suppose there's a reason why there aren't exactly </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">a lot of them alive anymore. </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Apathy evidently hasn't done anyone much good, </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">given the current situation, </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">but I digress."</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br />
<br /></div>
<i><br /></i>
<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>"...Sam, I think you may have misunderstood </i><br />
<i>the reason why I brought you in. </i><br />
<i>But, first, I want to ask you... </i><br />
<i>did you enjoy doing this?"</i><i> </i><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><i> </i></i><i> "...Salt."</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i><i>"...Pardon?" </i></i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><i><i> "I... wish I'd had salt.</i></i></i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><i><i><i><i> Make it... hurt more."</i></i></i></i></i><br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i><i> </i></i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br />
i blinked... and suddenly the file was gone. leaving just the high sheen gloss across the wood desk before me with the glass of whiskey still waiting there untouched. the disappearing act had surprised me enough to snap my gaze up... and onto The Author's waiting stare. the file back in his hands. shark eyes ever observing. eyes that made you feel like, even if there was a wall between him and you, he'd still see all your Tells. every twitch. every flinch. every shift. it always felt... like the air itself gave you away. that... reality itself... reported back to him. <br />
<i><br /></i>
<i><br /></i>
<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>"In that case, </i><br />
<i>I do believe congratulations are in order."</i><i><i> </i></i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><i><i> </i></i>"...'Congratulations'...? </i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><i><i> </i></i>For... what, exactly?"</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>"For your self-acquired promotion, of course.</i><i><i> </i></i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>I must say, Sam, this whole incident came as a bit of a surprise.</i><i><i> </i></i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>You don't exactly strike a person as our 'type'... </i><i><i> </i></i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>and, for that reason, we didn't expect much from you. </i><i><i> </i></i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>If anything at all, quite honestly.</i><i><i> </i></i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>Yet... what you've managed to accomplish...</i><i><i>" </i></i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> "...A long time ago, we met for the first time. </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Do you remember that, Author? </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Back when I went by 'Gauntlet' instead?</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I remember that. </span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I remember feeling... this charge in the air the first time. </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I remember... you correcting me.</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> About how being... </span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">assigned to Dimme hadn't been a... punishment. </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">But rather a... precaution.</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> I remember... you asking if I would fill in any blanks to my records.... </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">if the information never left your office.</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> I remember... you telling me about your son.</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Your son who was raised by the Cults.</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Who questioned his very place in the world. </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Who... fought a demon in him no one really saw or understood. </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Who was overtaken by that demon. </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">And became the demon at the same time. </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Who then used my own dead son to orchestrate my own destruction.</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Who made certain I wouldn't be able to even look at a picture of my boy </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">without hearing his voice in my head. </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Asking me why I didn't love him anymore...</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">why I left him behind...</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I may be broken, Author. </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">But I am not a Fool. </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Your son mutilated the memory of mine. </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">The dots aren't hard to connect. </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Why you even bother to tip toe around it is well beyond me...</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">...It doesn't matter. </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Who did what or is admitting to what... </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">doesn't change anything. </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">The opportunity to End it before it Began is long gone. </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">The opportunity... to End it at all might be long gone..."</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br />
<br /></div>
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>"It's curious.</i><i><i> </i></i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>Dimme herself was far from a simple woman.</i><i><i> </i></i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>She was very skilled </i><br />
<i>and plenty more experienced than you...</i><i><i> </i></i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>and you still reduced her to scrap meat.</i><i><i> </i></i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i> Of course, its always troublesome to lose an Agent...</i><i><i> </i></i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>But we're in the business of making monsters, </i><br />
<i>I'm sure you recall.</i><i><i> </i></i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>If one must die in order to create something better...</i><i><i> </i></i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>well, far be it from us to stand in the way of progress."</i><i><i> </i></i><br />
<i><i> </i></i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
we spoke for a little while... until there was a knock at the door and, at Author's beckon, a priest entered.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
it was the first time i saw Requiem</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
we were shortly introduced. he didn't offer his hand. something i was grateful for, as i wouldn't have taken it anyway. Dimme having successfully drilled such paranoia into my skull. i later learned that Philip had his own reason for not being able to stand being touched. though his was in the form of a priest who used to get too friendly with the choir boys. it was the reason i was so shocked... when he placed his hands around mine when giving me his medallion way back when...</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
he was a good man</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
The Author took time to carefully explain that Requiem was not, in any way, my new Handler. that he was a Squad Leader. that i was only being temporarily, and individually, assigned to The Church while i healed and got a handle on what was going to be expected of me now as a solo Agent. allowing me further experience in settling my own affairs... as well as working in a group. Author said it would be good for me to be thrust into group work. said i needed to learn to relax.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
i didn't trust it at first... but it became a good change after Dimme.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Good People.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
all fucking nuts in their own ways... but so was i. i started finding my pace with them. started... really enjoying myself more and more...<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">"...That was a long time ago.</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">I asked you to keep a careful eye on Storyteller...</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> because I shouldn't. Couldn't. </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">The conflict of interest was clear, after all,</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">and even the Highest are always being observed for signs of... disobedience.</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">There was something wrong with him, yes, </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">but I could never exactly discern what that was. </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Perhaps you felt it as well. </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">I wouldn't know. </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">I never had enough contact to be able to figure out exactly </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">how sinister this whole situation had become.</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />That was my choice. </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">My mistake. </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">A rather grievous one, to be frank. </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">But if you want closure, I'm more than happy to give it to you."</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /><span style="font-size: x-small;">He's stares at a wall. A window. A wall. </span></span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Winces. Takes another drink. </span></span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">The world tilts a few degrees to the left before it rights itself. </span></span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">A breeze blows through the office when there shouldn't be one.</span><br /><br />"The Storyteller and I were genetically related. </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">There. </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Calling him my son, however, seems..." </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /><span style="font-size: x-small;">Stumbling, pausing, unsure.</span></span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />"Disrespectful to him. </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">We had nothing to do with each other,</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> and the only reason I regret such a thing is because all was not as it seemed, </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">and he was much more dangerous than I could have imagined. </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Granted, we were all misled, but it doesn't really matter, does it? </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Any Crafter is dangerous, not to mention one with his lineage. </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Perhaps I was foolish in believing</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> that he could be the archetype for a permanent solution,</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> a world where the perfect proxy could be manufactured, </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">not recruited. </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Perhaps I was focusing on all the wrong things </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">in all the wrong places...</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Things certainly do seem grim.</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">A world under Redlight's rule is not one that I will tolerate, </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">but here we stand, crippled at best, broken at worst, </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">while his plague spreads. </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">And the Creature only seems to endorse it.</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> I'm left wondering if the storm has only just begun."</span><br /> </b></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
the third time i met The Author...</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b>"Sam. There's nothing here for us. </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b>Lets leave."</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
It Was Because I Wanted To Watch The World Burn.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>"David, try not to forget that even if you and I die</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b> in the coming weeks, months, or years...</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b> there is someone else who you care about </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>who will have nothing for her anywhere if Redlight gets his way.</b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>If there is any chance to shift this one way or another..." </b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<br /></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
after months of only being able to wonder about what had happened to my son after being put into an orphanage... praying that he was safe... happy... loved...<br />
<br />
<br />
i did something i swore i wouldn't<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
i looked back<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
and reality drove its fist into my gut... as i found out that Leo Prescott was dead. hit by a car. <i>just another dead deer on the side of the road.</i><br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">"If there's any chance to shift it, we won't find it in this room."</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<br />
not ten minutes after i'd found out... i was informed i had a mission to go on. an elimination.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
by the time i was done... they were barely recognizable as the target</div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
in my next elimination after that... the ID of the Runner had to be confirmed through DNA testing<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b>"Has he... it... that thing... threatened the girl yet?"</b></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
i received a call from one of the Highers after that<br />
<br />
i was told to tone it down<br />
<br />
"or else"<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">David threw one of the whiskey glasses at him. </span></b></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
my next assignment... was concerning someone who got themselves locked in an insane asylum. i don't even remember their name. i don't believe i even bothered to look at it. to remember it. remember the face. i didn't need it.<br />
<br />
i just took the address<br />
<br />
mental institutions have come a long way over the years, really. what used to be the sheer white equivalent of prisons and torture houses were now manicured facilities with calming tones of pale blues and greens slapped around. certain degrees of freedom were permitted for the more... tranquil patients. all a matter of moderation, i guess.<br />
<br />
my aim when i walked through those doors though... had nothing at all to do with moderation<br />
<br />
i wanted RIVERS of blood<br />
<br />
from everyone<br />
<br />
<br />
literally<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
everyone<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">It vanishes in mid-air (did it ever exist in the first place?) and he laughs, </span></b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">the sound surprisingly ugly and raw.</span> </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">"Because if he hasn't yet, he will soon enough. </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">I don't know why he seems so intent on ruining you both, </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">but it did strike me as somewhat irresponsible </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">for you to take charge of her care so suddenly, David. </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">At least the Creature's influence is somewhat passive. </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Though perhaps I shouldn't be talking."<br /><span style="font-size: x-small;"><br />He downs the rest of his drink, still staring into space.</span><br /><br />"I abandoned Spencer, and look where that got all of us. </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Though seeing your charge become the next Redlight </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">may be better than seeing her as another Network inductee. </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">I wonder what you'll choose; </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">the selfish path or the coward's way out..." </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
no one tried to flee at first. they only tried to intervene. i'm not very big. i suppose they thought they could muscle me. though i arrived as a living shadow, i didn't cause any immediate problem... so they weren't panicked about it. i didn't have to drop anyone prematurely... least not until i let my gauntlet's blades tear out the throat of one of the orderlies that attempted to stop me from activating the Emergency Lockdown.<br />
<br />
at that point, i had what i wanted <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
penned cattle fit for slaughter<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
my second kill... walked in on me with my boot planted down on the orderly's body while using the orderly's hair to rip his skull from his spinal cord. poor bastard really shouldn't have frozen in horror. gave me the instant i needed to finish ripping the head free before using it as a club against his own. he dropped like a rock. but i kept going until both skulls were nearly mush.<br />
<br />
much like most brains are<br />
<br />
blunt force trauma or no<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">David made a move at him,</span></b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">one fist clenched while the other slipped to his pocket. </span></b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<br />
i remember... picking pieces of bone from my hair. flicking them away. feeling the blood soaking through my clothes. the same blood that covered everything. a bath of crimson. everywhere. all around. even across the ceiling... dripping down the walls...<br />
<br />
i took the nurse's head too<br />
<br />
<br />
two heads are always better than one, right? least that's what they say...<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><b> <span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I grabbed his sleeve before he could.</span></b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>"David. Don't. That's not why we're here..</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Just... could you... wait outside for a minute?" </b></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
when i left the room... i spotted a gathering of perplexed people down the hall. i don't remember who they were. i don't remember what they were wearing. they could have been nurses. doctors. patients. groundskeepers. could have been world leaders for all i know. whoever they were though... they still screamed when i threw the bloody, battered skulls at them. hitting and <i>smearing</i> across the floor.<br />
<br />
a silent warning of what was to come<br />
<br />
hallway by hallway<br />
<br />
<br />
room by room<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">"No. I'm not leaving you alone with HIM.</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We're going now. Both of us."</span></b></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
one by one<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
by one<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
by one <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>"...David. The Author is not the enemy here.</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>I'll be fine. Just a few minutes. </b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>Just... go.</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>I mean it. I'll be right out.</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>The Author and I... go back...</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>I need... to talk to him. Alone. I'm sorry..." </b></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
by one...<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
i painted the walls. a work of art. a masterpiece that only grew with every body. every scream. every plead.<br />
<br />
i don't remember talking to any of them<br />
<br />
i just continued my slaughter<br />
<br />
like the monster i was supposed to be...<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>He hesitated, a trace of worry, a trace of hurt,</b></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>only to nod.</b></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>Passing one last look to Author</b></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>before stepping out. </b></span></span> </div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
i do vaguely remember... giving the head doctor something of a labotomy...<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">The Author watched him go.</span> </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">"...Never would have believed you two could get along,</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">if I didn't just see it with my own eyes.</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">He's grown quite attached to you, hasn't he?"</span></b></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
and, along my way, water swept the blood into a current. turning halls into crimson rivers that only grew with every water fountain i tore from the wall. ever sink... that i broke the pipes from. every water vein that i could find... even setting off the sprinkler system along the way to add what it could to my final performance...<br />
<br />
<br />
the police were there at that point.<br />
<br />
forcing their way in...<br />
<br />
<br />
i let them have their hunt.<br />
<br />
i let them believe themselves to be the wolf pack. like so many of us like to delude ourselves into thinking we are anything short of prey. just simple... predictable... prey...<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>"...There was always friction because we were both Dominates in a group.</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Needless to say, that is... no longer the case.</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>I'm not the Proxy I used to be.</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Then again... I'm not a lot of the things I used to be.</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Redlight... made certain of that.</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>...I think David misses the sparks, to be honest.</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Sometimes I wonder if he just keeps me around out of pity.</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>A longing for the Old Days..." </b></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
when i could hear their sloshing steps closing in... i dropped the main circuit wire into that red river. i can still hear... the angry snarl of electricity that tore through that mix of blood and water. the crackle and <i>hiss</i> as the charge drove itself out... and onto my hunters. there was smoke. and stink. and sounds that... i can't even describe as the electricity snapped... and then the power cut out. dissolving my blood gallery into darkness...<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
that was when i felt it<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
a sudden shift<br />
<br />
a sudden... change<br />
<br />
a familiar feeling crawling up my spine <br />
<br />
at first, i thought it was Father...<br />
<br />
but in the next instant i knew differently<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">"...I don't believe it's pity, Sam.</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Guilt, perhaps. For not noticing you change sooner,</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"> and letting you suffer and break like you did.</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">But not pity."</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">He seemed to eye me, seeing through me,</span></span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">in that way he always did.</span></span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">"You need to occupy yourself, Sam.</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">That demon inside your mind will eat you alive if you let it.</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">You know full well what The Silence can do to you...</span></b><br />
<br />
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> And, in all honesty, Sam...</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">I believe Banks will hold you back.</span></b><br />
<br />
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">He wants to give you back a normal life,</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">like the one you had as a High School Teacher.</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">But you can't pretend, can you?</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">You're a Soldier, even crippled as you are...</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Even as broken as you are, you just can't let go of the Job.</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">It's the only world you understand anymore.</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">I did that to you, in part. And for that, I am sorry.</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">But I can... help, in a way.</span></b><br />
<br />
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">You can stay here, Sam.</span></b><br />
<br />
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">You can work with me.</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">I have an entire Organization to rebuild.</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">I could use someone who...</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Understands how things Need To Be.</span></b><b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"></span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Someone I don't have to explain the complexities to. </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">If you want a Place in this world, Sam...</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">I can offer you a Desk Job.</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">You could consider it your official retirement."</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span> </span> </span></b> </div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
i'd killed my way... into gaining The Author's direct attention<br />
<br />
<br />
i should have been pleased<br />
<br />
it was what i had wanted, after all<br />
<br />
one last "fuck you" before i got what was coming to me.<br />
<br />
before i could finally rest for good in a well-deserved death. for i had felt so sick, so cheated, of life by then....<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
but, in that moment, the only thing i felt... was dread <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
i didn't think.<br />
<br />
i only ran.<br />
<br />
i took an emergency exit. open now, thanks to the power failure. <br />
<br />
i ran until every alleyway swayed and flickered with harsh, florescent lighting<br />
<br />
until every building, every room, echoed as the ghost of a nondescript office building with mazed halls<br />
<br />
until quiet, unyielding footsteps followed around every turn and bend<br />
<br />
<br />
until i was... somewhere... not quite here or there...<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"...I ca</span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">n't."</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">even though i thought maybe...</span> </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Thank you for the offer but...</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I... I can't leave David alone.</span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> Not now.</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He saved me from The Red, I can't just..." </span></b></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
until i opened a door<br />
<br />
and found myself facing a wall of blinding white<br />
<br />
only to then turn on my heel in retreat... and face another wall of white<br />
<br />
the doorway itself disappeared somewhere in between<br />
<br />
no windows<br />
<br />
no doors<br />
<br />
no creases or cracks or crevices<br />
<br />
<br />
the very essence of nowhere<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
the void <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
that's what The Author dropped me into: a box<br />
<br />
a box that i could scream at<br />
<br />
slash at<br />
<br />
kick and punch at<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
and not even leave a scratch as proof of my existence there<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><b>"...I see. Pity.</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><b>Then, as that is the case, </b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><b>I feel this will be our last meeting.</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><b>Good luck, Sam.</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><b>...though, there is one thing I wish to ask of you, </b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><b>before you go..." </b></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
not that i resorted to such things, of course. it would have been a waste and an embarrassment. i knew better by then. i knew the Game. and i knew... that i knew enough that this didn't have to be a dead end. this didn't have to be my final scene. i didn't have to be a victim - i WASN'T a victim. not prey, but predator. the hunter, in every sense. i wasn't a rookie... and i didn't have to play that role just because of my company. i had my own role in mind. my own game turning about in my mind... to convince The Author not to end the night's bloodbath with my own crimson accent... <br />
<br />
it was in that little spot of nothing... that one of two things happened.<br />
<br />
<br />
either i lost my mind<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
or i found it<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
i'm still not sure which it was.<br />
<br />
but if i could pin point... where i believe "Gauntlet" became what you know or knew as "Nightscream"... it was that last meeting. that was the birth... of all the death and destruction and chaos that followed.<br />
<br />
that's where my demise began.<br />
<br />
<br />
with a simple handshake<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
and a deal<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
to keep an eye on the son<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
that the Valtiel known as Samael kept him away from.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
to try to gain confidence<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
gain interest<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The Author asked me... </span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">to use whatever sway I still have left to send a message.</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">To you. All of you. Runners and Proxies, alike.</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Even those of you who may... </span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">be thinking the world has become more Red, of late.</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We have a common enemy. </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And an enemy of my enemy...</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If you need help. If you need shelter or food or supplies...</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The Author can be trusted. He can help, a little.</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He can't do miracles, but he can help.</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The Organization must be rebuilt, one piece at a time.</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What remains under his control is a mere sliver of what it once was,</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">but it can and MUST BE rebuilt.</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Proxies and Runners are already working there, right now.</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I met a couple of them, while I was there.</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There was a nice boy named Ryan.</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A Deaf/Mute Runner, he works with a small squad</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">under the leadership of a woman</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Black Widow"</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">and an assortment of others.</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Together, they run field missions.</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Collections.</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Scoutings.</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Recruitment and Rescues. </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Communications with other Cults.</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And, when needed, Eliminations.</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Some groups seems to handle the Runner/Proxy </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">combinations better than others but...</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We have to try. </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Please try.</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
it wasn't supposed to be this way<br />
<br />
<br />Nightscreamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08241679908254552393noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3626790529497436404.post-27280641017371935952013-04-01T20:17:00.000-07:002013-08-22T18:27:57.272-07:00I woke up<br />
and the rapid pounding in my chest... was only matched by the rain pounding on the window. not a motel window though. a familiar window. that came with a familiar room. that brought with it a familiar... weight... in the bed beside me. i was... so scared to move. scared to disturb whatever it was that now surrounded me. scared... to turn my head and see something far different than what all the familiarity was trying to suggest. i was scared... even as that voice came. asking if i was okay. groggy. as if i’d shared my abrupt awakening. and i... couldn’t respond. i couldn’t say anything. just the voice tore at my chest so much. so deep. so sharp. it was too much. too much to believe... even as i felt that weight shift. those familiar arms curling around me in just that certain way. just that certain manner. that certain touch and scent and i wanted to embrace it back but... i was so scared...<br />
<br />
i didn’t want to shatter it.<br />
<br />
i could only... listen to the small smile flirt on the edge of my spouse’s voice as i was teased for having too active of an imagination. that my dreams turned that gift against me. and i felt... lips brush a kiss to my cheek...<br />
<br />
a cheek that was soon traced by a tear. <br />
<br />
the flirt was abandoned as worry took control. saying my name. saying it like no one ever does anymore. or ever should. just that way... that made love go without saying. our love. our devotion. and it only made the tears fall faster as i buried my face in my hands. shaking. refusing to look. refusing to allow myself the chance to get sucked into the lie. sucked into the joke, whoever’s it was. and i... begged... to be left alone. i begged for mercy. i begged... for the exact contrary of what i wanted so bad. for the delusion to shatter...<br />
<br />
i couldn’t handle losing Alex again.<br />
<br />
i cried as i retreated into myself. drawing into myself. telling myself it was a lie. repeating it over and over. that they were dead. that they were both dead...<br />
<br />
Alex took my hands from my face... and kissed my lips. gentle and slow. and there was nothing left to stop me from drowning in those eyes so blue. and it was in those eyes that i listened as Alex reassured me. reassured me that i was home. that i was safe. and so were they. that it had been a nightmare. and when i still doubted, Alex threaded our fingers together and pulled me from the bed. leading me down the hall to Leo’s room. cracking the door open just enough... to see that mess of unruly hair sticking out from the covers. the rise and fall of steady breathing being the only movement at all. far away and dreaming...<br />
<br />
and i was starting to pray to anything that would listen... that that’s what i had done. that that’s where i had been. far away. throwing blood splatter after blood spatter upon the canvas way down deep in my mind...<br />
<br />
i lost my knees in front of that room. sinking down to the floor. hands trembling so hard... and it was with them that i clung to Alex for life and sanity. and i was clung onto in return. i could sense the confusion and worry... gnawing at Alex as i came apart right there in the hallway... all the pain and torment and loss i’d suffered... and made others suffer... running through my mind all at once...<br />
<br />
that was the first... and last... night terror i had.<br />
<br />
i returned... to my name. my real name.<br />
<br />
i returned... to school. teaching. embracing the future’s brightest...<br />
<br />
i returned... to normalcy. friends. family. home. <br />
<br />
the Nightmare was forgotten. <br />
<br />
Life... just went on.<br />
<br />
years flew by. <br />
<br />
Alex and i earned enough between us to help pay for Leo to attend Law School. last time he had come home to visit, he shown Alex and i the ring he’d bought for the love of his own life. Hannah. shy girl, but bright. dreamed of being a novelist and having a family...<br />
<br />
Laura... was thinking of becoming a teacher. like me. even tutored other classmates in high school. she grew up so fast. it was a complete whirlwind... and suddenly she was stepping down the stairs in high heels. looking so beautiful in her pretty pink prom gown. just like a princess ready for the ball. she had herself a nice boy. Thomas. ambition to become a professional chef and someday own his own restaurant fueling his fire for life and success. a little rough around the edges, but loving. very much so. <br />
<br />
my little girl... who wasn't so little anymore... had called home from her prom party. said she’d forgotten her camera and asked if i could drive it down. i teased her for having Alex’s memory... even as i grabbed the keys. kissing Alex on the forehead before heading out to the car.<br />
<br />
the drive was nothing. i was stepping out into the parking lot at the hall in no time at all, but... something felt... strange. something felt wrong. i felt nervous and i couldn’t explain why. something inside was kicked into overdrive and it left my head buzzing. i tried to ignore it. started walking towards the building but... a motion behind a dark van caught my eye. everything in me... screamed to leave it. to pretend it was just a stray dog. to pretend i'd seen nothing and continue on... that i didn't... want to <i>see </i>what was there... but i couldn’t. i couldn't. i turned away from the school... and went to investigate...<br />
<br />
i heard... strange noises as i neared. wet sounds. spits and splats. and, even though i saw the mass of blood before i even made the turn... i couldn’t stop my feet from moving around the van. moving me... to reveal a pale young man in a disheveled suit. red tie. crouched over a human body sprawled on the pavement. a girl. a very pretty girl. in a pretty pink prom dress. hacked and slashed and.... and clawed open. her bowls bulging out as... this... boy... tore another handful of flesh away and brought it to his mouth. eating it. eating her. my girl. my sweet, little girl. and i screamed. and those eyes flashed up to me and i swore that... he seemed... familiar...<br />
<br />
long, pale blonde hair with pale blue eyes.<br />
<br />
he grinned a bloodied grin at me.<br />
<br />
and bolted down the alley.<br />
<br />
i just... kept screaming. i screamed until someone heard. i screamed until someone called 911 as i cradled the shredded remains of my daughter in my arms... as i whipped the blood from her cold face with a trembling hand...<br />
<br />
they never caught him.<br />
<br />
Leo dropped out of Law school. disgusted with how uselessly it was bound in red tape. took to doing private work. came across the wrong people at the wrong time. started drinking heavily. started doing drugs. was arrested several times. assault. possession. DUI. assault with a deadly weapon. assault of a police officer. Alex and i... tried to send him to a rehab center. i told Alex it would be for his own good. that we had to be tough. that he NEEDED us to be tough to get him away from his damn dealer who only went by the name ‘Sherlock’.<br />
<br />
he hung himself with the sheets of his room.<br />
<br />
Alex blamed me.<br />
<br />
one night, i came home late. wandered up the stairs. i could hear... what i was walking into, but i felt so... numb... so cold... i just... i was just going through the motions. i gently pushed open the door to our bedroom and saw a man with my spouse. scars all over his body and flashing a switchblade over Alex’s skin. cutting and thrusting and... HAVING even inch of Alex... who's wrists were tied to the headboard with a red torn shirt... my Alex... who seemed... far from against any of it... judging by the moans to go rougher...<br />
<br />
i closed the door and walked back down the hall. a hall that seemed so dull and lifeless as it shifted and swayed in front of me... until there wasn’t a hallway. there was only stairs. stairs that my foot missed... and i fell. cracking against the steps and walls with such sheering pain that almost felt good amongst the chill in my chest... just before the sudden jolt of hitting the floor of the dining room...<br />
<br />
<br />
I woke up.<br />
<br />
<br />
and it was blinding white. burning blistering white. a white that was everything and nothing amongst a void of drifting whispers and muffled, rattling wheels. rattle tattle rattle across the smooth smooth floor that echoed and echoed down the endless labyrinth of white and rattling and screaming ScReAmInG SCREAMING that doesn’t stop will nevers top...<br />
<br />
Because He Comes.<br />
<br />
the DARKNESS amongst the blinding white. He Comes. ever still. ever silent. comes and comes and comes and the screaming gets louder and louder and louder as He picks His prey. eenie menie minie moe. catch a Runner by the toe...<br />
<br />
but no where to Run when the doors are locked, yes?<br />
<br />
so He comes. and comes. and comes. and comes. and marie’s guts are splattered over the walls and ceilings and they say i did it but i don’t remember that. i remember watching. i watch because if i don’t it’ll be my guts on the floor....<br />
<br />
<i>First they came for the Socialists. And I said nothing because I was not a Socialist.</i><br />
<br />
jake disappears into thin air. orderlies in trouble for that one.<br />
<br />
<i>Then they came for the Trade Unionists. And I said nothing because I was not a Trade Unionist.</i><br />
<br />
then daniel.... daniel daniel daniel... walked right up. walked up and stood before Him. i saw. many of us did. he stood and stared back into the DARKNESS as it stared into him... until daniel crumbled to the floor overtook by a seizure. jerked so hard he broke his own spine poor bastard. we all heard the snap and the scream and scream and SCREAM and Luke was blamed for that one. silly really. such a small frail boy. how would he have the strength to wrench that head all the way around 360-like? how would any of us? doped up as we are?<br />
<br />
sane people are idiots.<br />
<br />
<i>Then they came for the Jews. And I said nothing because I was not a Jew.</i><br />
<br />
He turns His head to me. tilting. to the side. bizarrey so. scares me. scares everyone. we just don’t talk about it. He is DARKNESS. meant to be Feared. menat to be. meant to NOT be. not be understood. not be not be just BE. meant ot meant to meant to be the shepard of the DAMNED damned damned damned in a circus of white circus of pretend of make believe of illusions and deception and LIES. fake walls fake doors fake everything fake fake fake only HE is real... until He isn’t anymore. until the RED bleeds in covers me suffocates me in blood. rivers of it. lakes and ponds and oceans and seas of blood RED that’s ever growing. ever expanding its reach...<br />
<br />
and then He came for me.<br />
<br />
and my screams echoed<br />
<br />
and echoed<br />
<br />
and echoed<br />
<br />
and echoed...<br />
<br />
<br />
I woke up.<br />
<br />
<br />
and Morningstar is on me. jumped on me and pinned my wrists back with that beaming grin of his. tisk tasking me for oversleeping. said we were going to be late for the meeting. enjoying the fact i let him pretend he has the upperhand when we both know otherwise. when we both know i could reverse the positions so easily. when we both know... with just a handful of carefully chosen words... i could crack that lovely, playful skull of his open and leave him a gibbering mess. such was my gift...<br />
<br />
i shove him to the floor and proceed to don my usual wear. ducking out the door with Star in hot pursuit. swearing he’s going to gut me when he catches up...<br />
<br />
i thought he was kidding.<br />
<br />
when he follows me into the meeting room... a rock turns to ice in my stomach as i hear the lock click into place. the room is lined by faces. familiar and not. a tension hangs, but i know not why. the stares upon me showing nothing but rage, betrayal... and intent.<br />
<br />
they accused me of being a traitor.<br />
<br />
they accused me of being a spy.<br />
<br />
for Moriarty.<br />
<br />
they said i’d been seen with him. discussing things with him. exchanging a suitcase for a bag in some little piece of nowhere. they accused me of selling out my own. of helping him kill off agents. proxies. one by one.<br />
<br />
i denied it all. it was ridiculous. outrageous. it was a damn LIE and they should all know me better than that...<br />
<br />
but they don’t listen.<br />
<br />
i fought at first, but i was... far too outnumbered. they grabbed me. pinned me down to the floor with a fogged mind and broken nose. not bothering with restraints since there were... enough of them to hold me how they wanted me. so i’d know... i could fight back. i could get away. if i was stronger. if i could just get one of them to slip. and i do try. i try my best to. even as they pulled my tongue from my mouth. placing a blade beneath it. pausing. then cutting it off in an spray of blood... a piece that Morningstar happily cooked and consumed as another proxy took a pair of pliers... and began pulling out my teeth. one by one. until i was choking on blood and my jaw was exploding in agony. in too much pain to even scream... <br />
<br />
next they... grabbed my head and pinned it to one side. The Butler placing a knife by my ear... before, ever so slowly, pressing it in. the metal cutting its way deeper and deeper until my head was ringing and i tried to scream past the blood but the pain suddenly exploded into a single POP inside my skull. there was a hot rush of blood gush from my ear and down my neck... and then they turned my head to the other side and did the same. a deafening void sucked me in. there was no sound anymore. just a sea of grinning faces... before Morningstar came and sat on my chest with a spoon in hand. saying something i couldn’t hear... before pulling my eyelid open. i couldn’t move. i could only watch as the metal came near. was pressed under my eye. curved back. and ripped out. half the world went black with a spray of crimson... and then the other half followed suit shortly after.<br />
<br />
i couldn’t see. i couldn’t hear. i couldn’t speak.<br />
<br />
but i could still feel.<br />
<br />
i could feel the blood. i should have been dead or close to it... but no. i was more than alive still. more than aware. more than feeling as the blades started to get to work on my flesh. peeling off my skin. exposing muscle and tissue until i felt fingers claw into my stomach and i felt... i felt every piece ripped from me in a flood of pain and hot blood. i felt every hand. every movement. every mutilation. until i thought i’d still feel this agony even when reduced to a skeleton...<br />
<br />
in that sea of darkness and silence and agony... i thought... i could still hear the echoes of their laughs... all those grins... spread far too wide...<br />
<br />
<br />
I woke up. <br />
<br />
<br />
or perhaps i hadn't been asleep at all. just a drifting
mind in the endless rotation of events. endless faces bringing endless
promises of change when all they offer is repetition. routine. day after
day. year after year. decade after decade until the centuries roll out
one by one...<br />
<br />
upon the table. the coin spins.<br />
<br />
heads or tails.<br />
<br />
just heads or tails... <br />
<br />
darkness
bathes me. nearly swallowing me whole. the stillness near suffocating,
but it doesn't matter. never has. never will. the darkness is no more
threat to me than bullet or blade. just a thing. a thing of the mortal
world. unlike me.<br />
<br />
me.<br />
<br />
the truest joke.<br />
<br />
<i>tails</i><br />
<br />
there
is no 'me'. not anymore. there is only the shell of 'me' left. a putrid
mix of blisters and boils and pus. not but tattered rags of cloth
pretending to be clothing. unlike their wearer. who gave up pretending a
long time ago. pretending to have place. purpose. meaning. use.<br />
<br />
i just spin the coin again<i> </i><br />
<br />
The
Plague wills me. so i am. as is my punishment. my punishment for trying
to escape. for tricking Him into the Tall One's way. The Sickness came
back for me. took me. claimed me. sealing me into the Crumbling Castle.
for decades i was amongst the Afflicted. for decades... my flesh swelled
and broke and weeped with disease and
plague and yet... death never came. death wasn't allowed. not for me.
never for me. for decades the Castle was my prison...<br />
<br />
and now the world is.<br />
<br />
<i>heads</i> <br />
<br />
now
i am a walking plague. as He wills me to be. just a wanderer. a
stranger passing through. leaving death in my wake. just as He wills it.<br />
<br />
the rats stir within me<br />
<br />
a heat comes<br />
<br />
amber eyes grinning out from the darkness<br />
<br />
<i>heads</i> <br />
<br />
a figure melting into place on the chair across from mine. table between.<br />
<br />
i just spin the coin again<br />
<br />
valtiel
bumped the table with a too-wide grin spreading wider. greeting me as
my coin fell prematurely. the heat he brought with him nothing compared
to the fever that boiled in my flesh already... even as i feel whiskers
and teeth on my neck. gnawing. tearing. just one
of the rats. one of the many from His Realm... who live inside that
very same flesh...<br />
<br />
just another spin<br />
<br />
valtiel
stays for hours. talking to me. taunting me. pulling names and faces
into my mind that i don't remember anymore. that are little more than
ghosts. faint whispers of lives wasted from times so long ago...<br />
<br />
<i>heads</i> <br />
<br />
but it doesn't matter<br />
<br />
<i>tails</i> <br />
<br />
nothing does<br />
<br />
<i>heads </i><br />
<br />
i talk to him. only to feed that emptiness<br />
<br />
<i>heads</i> <br />
<br />
only to feed along my Eternity<br />
<br />
<i>tails</i> <br />
<br />
as i come to realize<br />
<br />
<i>heads </i><br />
<br />
how long<br />
<br />
<i>tails</i> <br />
<br />
forever is<br />
<br />
<i>tails</i> <br />
<br />
and valtiel just keeps...<br />
<br />
<i>heads</i><br />
<br />
smiling at me...<br />
<br />
<i>tails </i><br />
<br />
bumping the table... <br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<br />
I woke up.<br />
<br />
<br />
i was on the floor. my head was pounding and i... i didn’t know where i was. it was a small room. like a closet. dark and dusty. i could feel the blood running down the back of my neck, but i forced myself to my feet. staggering, but making it. i thought... it seemed familiar... <br />
<br />
and then i heard the grinding sound of a cabinet being pushed across the floor... the rattling scream of friction... and the hard BANG of a weight hit against the only door in the room with such force i thought it might break through. but it doesn’t. because it didn’t. and i hear... a voice muttering on the other side. whispering something i can’t... i can’t make it out... but i know who it is.<br />
<br />
i shout Owen’s name.<br />
<br />
i run to the door and try to force it open , but it won’t budge. i slam my fists against the wood. screaming for Owen not to do this. not to LISTEN to that damn Creature. that it was Evil and manipulating him and he needed to stop and think this through logically. that It WANTED to turn us against each other. It WANTED to darken the human soul to MUTILATE it until we are indistinguishable from It...<br />
<br />
but he doesn’t listen.<br />
<br />
because i didn’t.<br />
<br />
and i smell gas. i hear... the ominous crackle of flames that soon goes to a roar and its so hot so searing the heat coming like WAVES. i keep yelling. keep beating on the door. hoping someone will hear me. someone will notice. hoping Owen will come back... even as i’m coughing on smoke. even as the fire breaks through the wall... and catches on the gas on my clothes. and i’m screaming. screaming until i feel blood burst from my throat as the flames take me in whole like a living torch...<br />
<br />
<br />
I woke up.<br />
<br />
<br />
and i’m on a bed. there’s someone else in the room, but i know already who it is. i try to stay quiet. try to pretend i’m still sleeping off the last time. the shackle from my black and blue wrist rattles a bit despite my efforts. the cuff supporting a thick chain that bolts straight to the wall behind the bed. a clear sign of my only purpose. the only purpose i’ve had since the Cult Town. it had been a mistake. the whole thing. i should never have involved him. i should never... have put myself on his radar. he’s never going to let me go now. he’s never...<br />
<br />
it hurts to move. it hurts to just be awake as i try to ignore the other figure returning from the bathroom. until i can’t ignore it. until his weight joins me on the bed. until he’s pulling me over... and immediately backhands me when he feels me tense. feels me want to resist. and when that tears my lip open again... when the blood drips down my jaw and neck... i know there’s no stopping it. no point in even trying. his mouth claiming what i'd spilled so far. enjoying the taste... and far from satisfied by such a small sample. he cuts me. he beats me. flays off pieces of me. enjoying watching me wall up against the pain. doing my best to keep it from showing. to keep from flinching. to keep from trembling as... once again, he rapes me...<br />
<br />
when it's over... and he looks at me after... he’s like a painter stepping back from a canvas.<br />
<br />
admiring his own work.<br />
<br />
and he asks me... the same question he always does.<br />
<br />
“Do you want more, Sam?” <br />
<br />
for so long, i said no. i told him to burn to hell. i told him i’d rather die...<br />
<br />
and took the punishment for it. a repeating of his work. only harder. more blood. more broken bones. more of everything. all for his pleasure. i took it. i took it...<br />
<br />
until i didn’t want... for it to hurt anymore.<br />
<br />
until i said yes... just to make it easier on myself. just to make the repeat... gentler. for wounds to heal... in favor of shredding my pride...<br />
<br />
i said yes... even as every inch of me screams ‘no’ against his body moving against mine. into mine. and i want to kill him. i want to RIP him apart. but i’d tried to escape before. i’d tried and failed too often. no matter what i do, he’s constantly one step ahead of me. and it only gets worse. it gets worse... even as my body betrays me and follows his lead. even as he breathes into my ear that... in time... i will come to... want him too. that i will... come to love him... for what he does to me...<br />
<br />
one day... after waiting so long for an opportunity to escape... any chance at all of regaining my life... i realize that no such thing was ever going to come. i realize that. and he knows it. kissing me one last time before heading out the door with Ronan. taking hands. David more than assured that i was going to begin doing... as he said i would...<br />
<br />
not five minutes after they leave, i bite down on my own tongue. there’s a wonderful feeling about the pain that wraps around me... and an even more wonderful feeling... about the cold hand that wrapped tight around my heart... as i swallow my own tongue. choking on it... until i’m swallowed myself into the darkness...<br />
<br />
<br />
I woke up.<br />
<br />
<br />
or maybe it was just the gasps between the screams. the dull drag between the burning cries of my lungs and body and mind and SOUL as the door opens. the door opens and i remember. i remember everything. panicking. thrashing. struggling against the threads that i can FEEL on me that are EVERYWHERE on me and in me and the world is covered in them PULSES with them. veins that spread everywhere that ARE part of everything and all i... can do... is clutch my skull. my splitting skull as i stagger through the streets the roads the WORLD that i don't recognize because he's reformed it all. rewritten it all. screwed and torn and SHREDDED it all and i don't even...<br />
<br />
who am i?<br />
<br />
who the fucking HELL am I?!?<br />
<br />
i don't remember<br />
<br />
i don't... no, i do. i remmeber. but it's not... it contradicts. it all CONTRIDICTS. what's truth? what has he DONE to MY TRUTH?!! WHO AM I?! who the FUCK am i?!? too much, too many too many memories crammed into each other over TOP of each other overwritting overtaking i don't remember... i don't remember what's real where am i what am i doing... why... why is everyone grinning at me...?<br />
<br />
every window reflects a memory i don't remember haivng or i do remember but it DIDN'T it DIDN'T happen that way it... it couldn't have happened that way...<br />
<br />
it hurts<br />
<br />
it hruts too much<br />
<br />
too much <br />
<br />
and i can... feel... the strings coming back...<br />
<br />
threading up and around and through and INSIDE...<br />
<br />
i can... hear... that laugh...<br />
<br />
that laugh<br />
<br />
and i feel the ground<br />
<br />
hit my knees<br />
<br />
as a hand<br />
<br />
lays over my eyes<br />
<br />
and the ddoor closes again in a rush<br />
<br />
of burning RED<br />
<br />
<br />
I woke up. <br />
<br />
<br />
and i couldn't breathe. panic seized around my throat as the pains of my nightmare dug their claws in and TORE. and i flinched. recoiled. jerked from the light touch on my shoulder. the very one that had woken me. shrinking back even as the hand quickly withdrew... and there was a voice. a gentle voice. calm and low. reassuring me. reminding me... that it was just him. just David. that we'd agreed that... he would wake me up... if i began having a nightmare. that he would stop it. pull me from it. that i was back. that i was okay now....<br />
<br />
myy hands wouldn't stop shaking<br />
<br />
i could... still feel... his tthroat in my... in my hands. i could FEEL it feel HIM feel his body strain against my hold even as he just... let me. let me strangle him. staring up at me as i did. eyes telling me it was okay. that it was going to be okay...<br />
<br />
just like David's eyes<br />
<br />
the tears born in my sleeping torment just ran harder. mixing with my sweat even as i clamped my eyes shut in some feeble attempt to rein back control. in some pathetic attempt to save face... but it was useless. i couldn't stop. soon my whole body was shaking as badly as my hands. breaking apart breaking down with each partly-suppressed sob and whimper and i just... i wanted it to stop. i wanted it all to STOP i couldn't.... i didn't wnat to see it anymore... i didn't want to see him FEEL him anymore...<br />
<br />
i was so tired... so sick... of watching my best friend die<br />
<br />
of watching my life tatter and fall apart<br />
<br />
of trusting<br />
<br />
trusting each reality i was put into<br />
<br />
only to find out it was all just another joke<br />
<br />
another set of little red strings crafted especially for me...<br />
<br />
laying there... i swore i could feel them... just the tiniest of threads... putting together this version of reality... until i get comfortable. until i start believing. and then the carpet is ripped out from under me again and i... i...<br />
<br />
i can't do it anymore<br />
<br />
i can't<br />
<br />
i can't...<br />
<br />
and still that voice whispers to me. trying to calm me. trying to make me believe it's not all going to go bad again. that it's not all going to FALL APART again.<br />
<br />
i feel his hands curl around my own. stilling them since i couldn't. holding them between us. not tightly. not loosely. just holding. secure. slowly brushing his thumbs over my skin. he tells me... that Winston would forgive me for what happened. that he wouldn't want me to do this to myself. that no one is blaming me. he tells me... that he's been where i am. broken. tired. just wanting to give up. but he wants me to know that... things get better. that i can get through it. just like he did. that i just need to give myself time... and it'll stop hurting like this...<br />
<br />
i don't reply.<br />
<br />
i only pull myself into his chest.<br />
<br />
hiding in his arms.<br />
<br />
and i weep.<br />
<br />
i weep... for what feels like hours...<br />
<br />
until sleep takes me again.<br />
<br />
<br />
I woke up....<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
David.<br />
<br />
a couple of nights ago... after waking me up again... you asked me to tell you what... i see when i close my eyes. you asked me to share... one of my nightmares with you. a sliver of my hell that... you could face with me. a monster to pull from the shadows to rob it of its fright. you confessed... being at a loss sometimes during my panic attacks and paranoia... and hoped maybe it would help you know what more you could say. what more you could do...<br />
<br />
even though you already do so much for me<br />
<br />
more than what i'm worth<br />
<br />
i couldn't... say anything at the time. the idea of... talking about this... i couldn't do it. i still can't. but somehow... writing it seems... less stressing. maybe cause i can trip through my words a bit better. maybe cause i can pretend its all just a story and delude myself into thinking that i'm not talking about my own life... my own... past...<br />
<br />
whatever the reason... this is a taste of a few of the playpens the Devil made for me. i could have just printed it out and left it for you to find... but i didn't want Em finding it. nor did i just... want to hand it to you. maybe on here it feels... a little less personal. maybe it lets me hide better.<br />
<br />
i know you're probably... going to want to talk about this.<br />
<br />
please don't make me<br />
<br />
please just let it rot in my skull<br />
<br />
please...Nightscreamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08241679908254552393noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3626790529497436404.post-27435559127890816892013-03-29T21:53:00.000-07:002013-08-22T18:27:42.742-07:00there was a time that i knew who i was<br />
<br />
there was a time... that i felt secure. like i had a hold of something solid. real. that i knew where i stood. where i had been. where i was going. i could see it all so clear. all i had to do is close my eyes. just close my eyes and PICTURE it. let the scenes play out like a movie in my head<br />
<br />
but now the movies are all wrong<br />
<br />
skewed and skipping and flickering and meshed into each other<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
most are lies<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
it hurts trying to tear them apart from each other... to unglue the solid mass of images and faces and voices that may never have said that which i hear or maybe said in another context or perhaps could be complete truth. ..<br />
<br />
<br />
or maybe its all a complete lie<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
sometimes though... i feel something that seems... right. or at least somewhat right. <br />
<br />
i think.... i remember who Victor was. Redlight laced that name through many lies... but he was always someone i killed. in the... version. on here. it was someone i used to know. college friends or something. i don't entirely remember. i don't... like... rereading on here. most of it i don't even recall writing...<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
but Victor.... his eyes. its in his EYES that i think i remember. deep and desperate and just.... wide. so very wide. too wide<i> like someone else's grin?</i> and they reached deep into my soul and screamed why in frantic unvoiced cries because he can't... can't breathe. he was smart. tailored suit and successful. even though he was on the Run. Run from the Slender Man. like so many others. but he still couldn't breath no matter how he thrashed in the ropes no matter how he twisted in panic and horror and just... stared at me... unreal eyes begging...<br />
<br />
to remove the duct tape i'd plaaced over his mouth and nose<br />
<br />
<br />
he could still... get some air.<br />
<br />
<br />
could hear it leak through his straining<br />
<br />
<br />
and it onlyy drew the suffering out more<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
until i couldn't take it anymore<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
until i couldn't... watch anymore<br />
<br />
<br />
even with Dimme breathing down my neck<br />
<br />
even with her work freshly stitched across my middle<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
even then...<br />
<br />
<br />
i ran and grabbed the tape. ripping it off. earning thanks even as he was gasping for breath but i just couldn't take seeing those eyes buldge anymore i... i couldn't...<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
and then i was on the floor<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
i didn't know what hit me<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
but you never did when it was Dimme<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
i scrambled back. remember the... splinters from the wood eating my hands. until i hit the wall. her further advance towards me only shrinking me further down as i promised to kill him. i swore i would. i'd kill him. but i didn't want to torture him. it wasn't needed. it wasn't... it didn't have to be like that.... i didn't like seeing the eyes like that... the muscles strain like that.... that the Whispers were quiet... that this was just for THEM. Not Him. that we could... make it quick...<br />
<br />
<br />
i was new<br />
<br />
<br />
Dimme had yet to break me in<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
that night, the prey got to see... what happens when a proxy stepped out of line.<br />
<br />
i was put on display<br />
<br />
<br />
a sight of blood and voiceless screams that only came to life as quivering muscles and agonized nerves. paralyzed by the drugs but oh so aware of everything...<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<i>like when Redlight had you in your mind, locked up tight? Like that, Sammy?</i><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
i could barely crawl<br />
<br />
but when Dimme ordered me to stand, i somehow managed.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
she put the duck tape in my hands for the second time that night<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
i hadn't saved him from anything<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
i'd only... prolonged the suffering<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
but i didn't rip it off that time<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
i watched the whole show<br />
<br />
<br />
trying to keep back the bile<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
and he never... stopped staring at me <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
even after his heart stopped<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
those eyes stayed with me<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
even... after the corpse was long disposed of.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
after Dimme.... was long disposed of.... <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
still. they stared out at me.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
dead eyes in the dark<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
sometimes.... i lay in bed awake.<br />
<br />
<br />
fully aware that David is as well. since he doesn't sleep until i am. and i know he'll come to say something. anything. just in hopes that i'll open the door just a little wider for him. that i'll volunteer a detail or two. a thought or two. of whatever is keeping me awake this time. whatever is bothering me. eating at me. chewing and gnawing until i wonder if insanity itself is a disease that you can hear munching away inside your skull...<br />
<br />
maybe that's why schizophrenics have such a hard time communicating. thinking. piecing just the simplest sentences together...<br />
<br />
<br />
the munching is just too loud.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
and when i don't respond, he'll pull me in closer. arms wrapping around like a barrier. a shield <i>a straightjacket maybe? </i>until i can feel his chest rise and fall with each breath against my back. until i can hear his heart, even feel it. beating steady. strong. alive. until his breath is on my neck and then so are his lips. gentle and brief. trying to get my attention. reassuring me he was there. that i wasn't alone. that i didn't have to face anything alone. not anymore.<br />
<br />
i know he wants to talk<br />
<br />
he always wants to talk<br />
<br />
<br />
so i know he's hurt... when i just nod. just nod. and let the silence stretch.<br />
<br />
<br />
there's nothing to talk about<br />
<br />
nothing that hasn't already been gone over.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
what good would talking do?<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
what good has talking EVER done any of us?<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
have you wondered that? these stupid blogs we set for ourselves. virtual gravestones once we're gone. we talk to each other. discuss theories and ideas and mock and humor and share the living nightmare...<br />
<br />
<br />
but what fucking GOOD has it EVER done??<br />
<br />
<br />
none.<br />
<br />
that's your answer.<br />
<br />
<br />
absolutely none. the suffering is only prolonged. we open doors that we wouldn't have otherwise known <i>Joseph would be alive </i>existed. we dig our holes deeper. deeper and deeper and deeper until we're certain we're going to come out the other side. certain we're going to find something, if only Wonderland.<br />
<br />
but no<br />
<br />
we wake up<br />
<br />
and realize that we hadn't been digging at all <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
dead eyes in the dark<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
there was a time that i lectured on here. i discussed one piece of trash after another. shifting through it all as if there was some secret truth behind it. mysterious and forbidden and so jaw-dropping that knowing it would drive you insane. the game. the GLORIOUS game that turns winners into losers and losers into something not even human anymore. barely alive anymore. barely functioning beyond flight or fight, and always choosing flight. <br />
<br />
unless there is no flight<br />
<br />
<br />
unless everything is in our heads<br />
<br />
<br />
what do we do then...?<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
what do we do when we can't even be sure if the people around us are anything more than delusions mixed with hope? the straggled, ragged, tortured last remains of hope. hard for breath and barely a thought, but there. clinging. helpless and hopeless and miserable and just wanting to be so damn NAIVE...<br />
<br />
it would be too easy to trust David<br />
<br />
<br />
trust someone had given enough of a shit to bother<br />
<br />
<br />
trust this reality<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
this.... whisper of a family<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
a place to just.... belong<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
iit's just too easy<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
i don't even know<br />
<br />
<br />
i don't know<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
i just know that it hurts<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
it hurts so much<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
and i'm so tired of hurting<br />
<br />
<br />Nightscreamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08241679908254552393noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3626790529497436404.post-89821492940085542342013-03-21T20:12:00.000-07:002018-05-26T12:04:16.257-07:00days blur<br />
<br />
thats all it becomes<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
i don't even know why i'm back on here again. <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
the days just blur.<br />
<br />
sometimes
it's hard for me to... really take notice of one changing to another.
its been over a month that i've been with David and yet i... i still
feel like... it was only last week that he... caught up to me. that my
body turned without my instruction and spotted him. <br />
<br />
<br />
i can still remember that... brief instant... when i...<br />
<br />
felt again<br />
<br />
<br />
when i felt the rain. cold and stinging. numbing. so sharp and clear after so long of....<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
nothing<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
nearly a month<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
nearly
a month of... watching the world from inside my head. my mind. my cell.
my prison. at first i had sccreamed to be helped. to be HEARD. to
just... but... eventually i just... watched. watched. and listened.
listened to his stream of poisonous words. nothing else to do. nothing
else i could do. i was his. his property. his puppet. his toy. to bend
and to break. there no way out. no way... out...<br />
<br />
<br />
i
barely paid attention to David. having appeared again through that
tunnel vision i had. like he had before. twice before, i think. he was
chasing me. or at least my body. my puppetted body. confronting me. he
was talking. shouting. calling my name as if i could answer back. i
thought it stupid at the time. didnt he see in my eyes that i was
already dead?<br />
<br />
i know... my strings were tugged to run. to slash with my blades. to aim with my gun. all to keep distance. keep away.<br />
<br />
but
the third time was different. between the slashes of my gauntlet, Davi d
found an opening. his hands closing on my arms. tight. then tighter as
my strings pulled me to thrash. to struggle... until that drained away.
and the threads that held me. that cut into my flesh and mind just a bit
more with every command. the threads.... released. everything swayed. i
felt.... like i was sinking. pulled out from behind the curtain to take
the lead again. to fill my.... body again. it felt so strange. so
forigne. so<br />
<br />
<br />
hollow<br />
<br />
<br />
and that grip held me up. held me from collapsing.<br />
<br />
<br />
itwas
so... painful to move again. like whiplash had rooted itself through my
neck and spine. spreading its stiffening roots down my limbs.<br />
<br />
every sound was too loud<br />
<br />
every motion too fast<br />
<br />
i heard... my name. a whisper. a breath of relief that sounded like a scream to me.<br />
<br />
and
my head slowly remembered how to lift. how to... obey my brain instead
of the strings... and i found David watching me. his grip on my arms
loosening. a victory in those eyes. accomplishment. pride.<br />
<br />
<br />
it wouldn't last long<br />
<br />
<br />
because
more than the rain. more than the stiffness. i remember what i felt...
when i saw those headlights approach. a truck speeding down the road.
the light it brought bathing the cold street. washing over it.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
a sweet promise whispering to me<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
a promise... of an End<br />
<br />
of never returning to the Strings<br />
<br />
of being able to run<br />
<br />
to hide<br />
<br />
where he could never find me<br />
<br />
<br />
i
remember... David shouted as i tore from his grip. my legs fumbling
under me before remembering their purpose. running. running out onto the
road. right into that warm glow. that blinding abyss. that soft
promise... that... warmth...<br />
<br />
<br />
the wheels screamed against the pavement<br />
<br />
the horn blasting out<br />
<br />
<br />
and
then my legs were taken from under me. and i hit the windshield. glass
shattering as if chattering with the rain... and then i felt nothing. for just a brief second, there was nothing around me. i was flying. floating. hovering. and then i met pavement. hard and rough and BURNING across my skin as i rolled with flopping limbs and i felt... such relief... from that pain. the world hazed over even as i felt myself get gently pushed onto my back... even as i swore i saw a... figure in red... standing on the edge of a rooftop overhead... my puppeteer... my master...<br />
<br />
<br />
your toy was finally broken beyond repair<br />
<br />
<br />
i thought it was over<br />
<br />
<br />
and i welcomed... that blackness. that nothingness. i welcomed it. i welcomed the Reaper. welcomed my ride across the River Styx... <br />
<br />
<br />
but... i woke up. with David. i can still feel with what... cold chill life greeted me back. a life i didn't want. wanted nothing to do with. no part of. it was like some sick joke. tasteless and flat. i just wanted to die. i wanted the promise. when the wheels locked up and everything jerked and cracked...<br />
<br />
<br />
i only wanted....<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
to see the Road again<br />
<br />
<br />
under that Golden Sky<br />
<br />
<br />
i wanted my escape<br />
<br />
<br />
i just... don't want to remember anymore<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
i don't want to remember how... adamant i was. how confident. how assured that he wouldn't break me. couldn't destroy me. not ME. not the manipulator of manipulators. not the idiotic piece of garbage that liked seeing life as one grand joke. a joke that had turned sour and needed some spice to liven up the mood. not me... who laughed at those who saw themselves as my superiors. who just seemed to take it... all in stride... always knowing what came next....<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
god how stupid was i?<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
no matter what i did<br />
<br />
<br />
no matter what i tried<br />
<br />
<br />
said<br />
<br />
<br />
wanted<br />
<br />
<br />
believed<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
it was all garbage<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
i know... nothing. i am nothing. perhaps that's what Father... the Slender Man... wanted to show to me from the beginning. that very first time. standing in the doorway with flickering lights overhead. tilting His head at me. little pathetic me. who wanted to inspire the young... as if i was anything special myself...<br />
<i> </i><br />
<br />
<i>"...David?"</i><br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i> "Hmm?"</i><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>"...Why are you... </i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>so hell bent... to keep me alive?" </i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i> "Because you're important to me,</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i> and the world is better with you in it."</i></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>"...David, I'm not---" </i></div>
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i> "---It's okay, Sam. I know.</i><br />
<i> I know that you don't believe it...</i><br />
<i> I know you're having a hard time </i><br />
<i> believing anything right now... </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i><i> But every once in a while... </i></i><br />
<br />
<i><i> I can still see you, Sam.</i></i><br />
<i> </i><br />
<i> Who you think you aren't anymore. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i> You're still there.</i><br />
<i> Beneath the rubble, you're still there. </i><br />
<i> You have no idea how amazing that is. </i><br />
<i> I'm not saying it's not a slow road but...</i><br />
<i> you're going to be okay. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i> Trust me."</i></div>
'trust him'... because he'd been there before.<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
because he'd been broken and rebuilt himself from it. because he'd endured. persevered. overcome. and when i tried to tell him that i wasn't like him... that i couldn't... get past what Redlight had done to me... he only smiled and said that he was no one special. trying to tell me how much i'd done already. reminding me (as if i needed reminding) of how i could do little more than cry and claw at my own face at the beginning. how i was having "civil conversations" with him now. how i... was eating a little. resting a little, even if not entirely sleeping... how i even called him 'darling' once or twice... stupid little pet names...</div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
i couldn't look at him<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
he sounded so hopeful<br />
<br />
<br />
so... certain of me<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
it hurt<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
how could i possibly look at him... as i told him that he done all that?<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
as i told him that i would never...<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
have pushed this far. that the only reason i was still alive.... </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
was because he had stolen my towel so i couldn't even throw it into the ring. </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
that he'd taken it. so i couldn't give up. give in. just be damned with the whole fucking thing and just... run. run to the one place that Redlight wouldn't be able to find me.</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
that David pushed me through things that i never... that...</div>
that i didn't want...<br />
and still don't want...<br />
<br />
<br />
i told him<br />
that there was no point in denying it<br />
<br />
<br />
it was all him<br />
<br />
<br />
i was just the puppet<br />
<br />
along for the ride<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Redlight had been right about me<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
i was only ever... just the puppet...<br />
<br />
he'd been right...<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
and that was when David... got up and left.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
it took a few minutes for me to realize... what exactly i had done.<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
what i had said.</div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
the realization seized my throat in an iron grip. and just kept squeezing tighter.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
i wanted to take it back<br />
<br />
<br />
i wanted.... to scream in frustration. in self-loathing for my own stumbling tongue. stumbling wit and mind. how useless was i? how miserable could i be to compare the man who was draining himself dry trying to help me to the son of a bitch that ruined me? that ripped me apart and amused himself finding different ways to put me back together....? how could i...<br />
<br />
<br />
how could i possibly hurt David like that?<br />
<br />
<br />
i didn't want to hurt him. i didn't want to make things so impossible for him. he was the only one left who gave a shit about me. who hadn't left me behind. who picked me up and carried me onward when i didn't... have interest in doing it myself. for any kind of future. the man who let every sharpened word... every... cruel remark... roll right off his shoulders....<br />
<br />
i threw the covers off me. grabbing my useless legs and swinging them off the side of the bed. forcing myself up. making a grab for my wheelchair... because there was no way i was going to let that cut sink any deeper than it already had. there was no way i was going to... let my own poison hollow him out. i needed to follow him. talk to him. apologize until it made some difference... but i hadn't even managed to get into my wheelchair yet before David came back. i was barely seeing him. babbling about how i hadn't meant it that way. begging him to forgive me. that i was sorry...<br />
<br />
<br />
i'm so sorry<br />
<br />
<br />
and yet he seemed more worried about my... panic...than any kind of hurt i'd made. speaking soft. trying to soothe my rushing mind of contradicting thoughts. trying to assure me that he wasn't going to leave me. even as part of me wanted him to, so i wouldn't hurt him anymore. that i wasn't going to be alone. even as part of me screamed for it, so i wouldn't have a reason to stay anymore. that everything was okay. even as part of me sobbed that it never would be...<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
he handed me a towel </div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
he told me that... i was right. </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
that, so far, i hadn't had a choice in much. </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
that he had pushed me into recovering this far. </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
but... he wasn't going to do that anymore. </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
he wasn't going to force me to heal if it wasn't what i really wanted. he wasn't... going to keep me here... just to satisfy his own need for company. he told me that.... i was well enough to make the choice now. </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
that i could throw in the towel. </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
he said i could make it all end. </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
that he... would kill me himself if that was what i wanted. </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
that he would... make it quick. </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
that i wouldn't feel anything. </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
that it would all... </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
just stop...</div>
<br />
he said i could hang onto it.<br />
keep my wall up.<br />
keep hiding.<br />
keep running.<br />
keep... dwelling.<br />
keep trying to sort things out on my own.<br />
keep living... and dealing with everything that came with it...<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
or... i could hand it back to him. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
that i... could let him help me. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
admitting... that i needed his help. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
to give up some degree of control... </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
and allow him to make the choices that i was... </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
that i am... in no condition to.</div>
<br />
<br />
i had my escape<br />
<br />
<br />
i had it there in my hands<br />
<br />
<br />
i had the choice... the chance... to finish what the truck had started<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
i didn't have to be afraid anymore<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
i didn't have to be... in pain anymore<br />
<br />
<br />
i could forfeit<br />
<br />
<br />
i could admit defeat<br />
<br />
<br />
and just... end<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
my story... could finally have an end<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
and in that silence that stretched... i'd' never... seen David look so miserable. there was no wall up. no mask to cover his weakness. he knew... what i wanted. that i... wanted to toss the towel to the floor. i'd said it so often... all he could do was harden himself to the reality of it. he was trying to accept it. trying to accept... that he'd been wrong about me...<br />
<br />
<br />
and Redlight had been right<br />
<br />
<br />
but i... didn't want.... to prove David wrong. i didn't... want to leave him alone. to make all his efforts a waste of time. waste of energy. i didn't... want to abandon him in fear of the Devil... when he promised me so often that he'd never abandon me for anything. when he put so much into me. correcting me. or trying to. time and time again. every time i called myself worthless. useless. every time i... cheapened my value. when i claimed to not have a purpose here anymore...<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
he believed i was worth something<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
i still have no idea what that could be<br />
<br />
<br />
but i... decided it was about time that i trusted him<br />
<br />
<br />
to try to... prove him right<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
i slowly held the towel out for him.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
it felt so foreign for me. like i was pushing against my own will. my own... instincts. my entire body trembling. shivering. i felt... so faint... so thin... as he tentatively took it from me. as i felt the material... slip through my fingers. as i felt the chance i had been waiting for die without me...<br />
<br />
<br />
god it hurt<br />
<br />
<br />
but it was the choice that i made<br />
<br />
a promise to try<br />
<br />
<br />
to try to take... myself back<br />
<br />
try to take... my mind... back<br />
<br />
<br />
David's been helping me anyway he can. that night was the first night... that i gave up trying to sleep alone. we share a bed and he wakes me if... when i start... reliving something. other times he just... talks to me. talks for hours. talking about nothing and everything about his life and thoughts and experiences and people he knew and noticed and just... anything. anything to fill the silence on days which is far from silent in my head. when i just... want someone to drown out the voices. if only for a little while. when i just... need an anchor. a reminder of which reality i'm trying to cling to.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
sometimes... </div>
<br />
sometimes i'm the one telling the stories. small stories of little consequence. little effort. David always listens with such... keen attention. even when there's barely any point to the story being told. even if the only point at all is that i... actually remember it... and i think it's real. that it might really be one of mine. my real memory...<br />
<br />
finding even a scrap of Truth amongst the disaster zone inside my skull... is nothing short of a miracle.<br />
<br />
<br />
i see have a long way to go.....<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
but i'm trying<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
i even... started a journal a little while ago<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
just a little.... writing exorcise <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
to try to help me... deal with some things...<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
i just get so tired<br />
<br />
<br />Nightscreamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08241679908254552393noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3626790529497436404.post-84432206384650959452013-03-05T21:58:00.000-08:002018-05-26T11:46:21.565-07:00we're moving.<br />
must have been on the road for six hours so far. going to be another two at least before we're even going to change roads. all that matters right now is getting away. we'll sort out the rest when we get there. personally, i really... am not liking this. it's the first time we've moved since i woke up and it's all going to be new again and i can't...<br />
<br />
i don't know... i don't like it when things change anymore. i like knowing. i like routine. the familiarities.<br />
<br />
but that's all burning behind us now<br />
<br />
i don't know... if they found us because i was stupid enough to post on here and draw attention or if it was just coincidence or if... if it was anything to do with... with <i>her.</i>.. but i guess it doesn't matter. not really. we're all alive. a little burnt and bleeding and my head hasn't stopped throbbing but... we're alive.<br />
<br />
one of them had said something about a proxy called Fracture. i don't remember that name, but my memory is... clouded over in a lot of areas... and far too detailed in others...<br />
<br />
David said he knew the name though.<br />
<br />
<br />
<a href="http://litethefire.blogspot.ca/p/bounty-board.html#David">apparently David's head is worth $100,000</a>.<br />
<br />
i guess Fracture is a fan of his <br />
<br />
<br />
<a href="http://litethefire.blogspot.ca/p/bounty-board.html#Nightscream">mine is worth $25,000</a>.<br />
<br />
for a damn cripple<br />
<br />
<br />
ridiculous.<br />
<br />
<br />
i guess they weren't expecting a fight from me. can't say i was either.<br />
<br />
after three attempts at my own life, i told David before that i'd... stay for a little while... but if the Game found us, i wouldn't fight back. that i'd just... let someone have bragging rights. if there is even anything left to brag about anymore. i didn't want to fight. i didn't want to run. i just... couldn't take it anymore...<br />
<br />
<br />
now i've done both<br />
<br />
<br />
but i really... didn't have a choice. David had gone out for groceries. leaving Em alone with me. <i>trusting</i> Em alone with me, and when i... saw that shadow pass by the window... when the hairs came up on the back of my neck... i Knew. i Knew and i just... at first, i was somewhat relieved to be in what i thought might be my last moments... but then i remembered Em...<br />
<br />
i couldn't let them have her<br />
<br />
my life may barely be worth a single cent at this point but... she's only a little girl. and i couldn't betray David by not... "stepping up" to protect her the best i could. so i barricaded us in a room.... and as it turned out... a cripple can still handle a shotgun just fine.<br />
<br />
<br />
then they set the house on fire<br />
<br />
<br />
the hows and whats of it don't matter. if David hadn't come back when he had, we wouldn't have made it out. or, at least, i wouldn't of. theoretically, Em should have been okay beneath the water in the bathtub... least for a little while. i don't really... remember much about David showing up. i remember... aiming down the barrel out a window... i remember having a harder and harder time to breathe and the HEAT that just kept rising every time i thought it was impossible for it to burn anymore than it already was and i remember... i remember the pounding in my head swaying<br />
<br />
everything shaking everything until i could see the door<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
rattle on its hinges</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
with every POUND that echoed and split and GNAWED at my skull and i.... </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
and i heard him on the other side. </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
a voice. a voice that wasn't. </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
that couldn't BE because it had already been DONE so long ago...</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
so very long ago... yelling at me. pleading with me. to just unblock the door. </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
begging me... not to leave him there to burn... </div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
not to leave </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Owen</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
there to burn...</div>
<br />
he sounded so desperate so TERIRFIED voice just<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
VIBRATING </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
out from beneath the ROAR that engulfed the house that just got hotter and hotter until i wasn't sure what burned more my body or my mmind</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
na d god it stung and i still couldn't</div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>breathe</i></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
David told me... that i was speaking fluent gibberish by the time he got to me carrying a soaking wet Em wrapped in his coat in his arms<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
she's laying down in the backseat now<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
fast asleep<br />
<br />
<br />
David's been running on coffee. i wish i could take a turn at driving to give him a chance to rest, but this wouldn't be the first time being paralyzed from the waist down has proven me useless. so i've claimed map duty. trying to stay one step ahead of where we are by the light of a small flashlight. David keeps glancing over to me. keeps telling me i should sleep. that he'd be okay for a while. that i need it. but i just... can't. not like this...<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
not like this...</div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
why can't you people <br />
just<br />
leave us alone? <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
we're not part<br />
<br />
of your Game anymore<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
we just<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
want<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
to be left<br />
<br />
alone<br />
<br />Nightscreamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08241679908254552393noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3626790529497436404.post-22324377676780311882013-03-02T18:25:00.000-08:002018-05-26T11:39:12.023-07:00<br />
how much longer<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
is this going to go on for</div>
<br />
<br />
how much furtherr<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
is it going to spread</div>
<br />
<br />
is anyone even<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
TRYING to stop it</div>
<br />
<br />
can it even be fucking stopped/<br /><br />
<br />
<br />
It was..... inside her. i FELT It <i>inside</i> of her. she wasn't one of us, she was a NORM. she didn't know a damn THING and i just... i felt It... i felt... the RED... and i just... panicked. she had been trying to HELP ME. trying to help the stupid cripple in the goddamn wheelchair and her arm brushed across mine and i just... i panicked and nearly sent a display flying...<br />
<br />
<br />
all i could see<br />
<br />
<br />
all i could. hear<br />
<br />
<br />
all i could... feel<br />
<br />
<br />
was him<br />
<br />
<br />
The Devil.<br />
<br />
<br />
The Network<br />
<br />
<br />
Those stirngs on mme agian wrapping around coiling around strangliing me SMOTHERING ME as those arms came around pulling me back against him back TO him tightening like snakes until ii thought my bones were going to splinterr and break and his hand clamped over my mouth and i couldn''tt breathe<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
please god ijust wantt to</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> braethe</i></div>
<br />
<br />
words no more than<i> poison</i><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
when he asked if ii would smile for him</div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
just</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>smile </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
and then it wasn't his arms... but David's. the same damn stubborn git that scrapped me off the road under the cold rain that night,<br />
</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
that held my wrists so i wouldn't claw at my own face when i woke up a few days later. breaking and crying in torment that clawed down deep to my very core. cursing him for saving me. cursing him for not letting me die</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br />
and would later be bandaging those same wrists when he walked in to find me trying to bite through my veins. a pathetic wreck of a human just making a pathetic attempt to end the scraps of life i had left. begging him to leave me. to let it happen. to just let it END. spitting on him when he silently refused. silently took anything i threw at him. no matter how cruel the words.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
he just kept holding onto me. </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
holding on as i wept after he'd pulled me up from the bathroom floor. the bottle of bleach torn from my hands and mouth and thrown clear across the room. ynaking me up and pulling me into his arms even as i wept about it not being enough. it burned. my mouth, my throat, all inside... but it hadn't been enough. pain for nothing. pain tha tonly lead to more pain and no relief as i burned and threw up and David never once left me</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
snarling at him to just get it fucking over with.<br />
throwing
off the covers and telling him to go ahead. that i didn't care.<br />
fuck me.<br />
it was what he wanted, wasn't it? why he was bothering with me like this?<br />
now that his other two "fucktoys"
were dead, he needed another to take their place.<br />
but he just... pulled
the covers back up. speaking soft and slow. telling me i needed to rest.<br />
<br />
trying to get me to calm down</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
just like during my night terrors and hallucinations </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
and everything that just snowballs on itself. when i can't stop the voices can't stop myself from screaming out and breaking </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
crumbling </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
crying </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
as it all becomes REAL again. </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
when i FEEL it all again and HE'S there instead of David and i beg for it to stop. to just be left alone. left to die. and i get so tired but i can't sleep. can't sleep without seeing HIM without feeling my hands close around Winston's throat again and it all becomes just too muhc. just too much to take. to burden and i don't want to live with the pain anymore</div>
<br /> just like at the store.<br />
when i could feel the Red ON me again... and he was suddenly there. he'd come back. arms around me. forehead to mine talking soft so soft just trying to bring me back to.... calm me down. reminding me... i could breathe. to take my time. to talk.<br />
<br />
to tell him what was wrongg</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
god it's ALL so wrong... why don't any of you SEE THAT??!?</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
she's going to go home to her family and friends and she's going to bring HIM with her everywhere she goes. it's in the RED. i saw it on her. didn't notice at first, but after i Knew, i saw it.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
a tiny tattoo of a heart just behind her ear.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
her mark</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
HIS mark </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
so subtle</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
even the bloodspot in my eye was more obvious than that</div>
<br />
<br />
but both are enough. both are all he needed to tie us up. force us down the line. jerk our legs and swing our arms while our minds end up LOST behind the SMOKE AND ASH....<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
how is this<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
ever going to be alright?</div>
<br />
<br />
it just keeps spreading<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
it's only ever going to get worse<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
everything<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
only ever gets worse <br />
<br />
<br />Nightscreamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08241679908254552393noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3626790529497436404.post-14747189027193225142013-02-19T20:21:00.000-08:002013-04-20T06:22:49.108-07:00Rumours of my death have been greatly exaggerated...<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">And you all have been oh so <i>busy</i> in my “absence”, haven’t you? Seeing you all scurry, having been struck down by the rather chaotic past few months have certainly proved most amusing for those who appreciate such fine <i>art</i>. However, since you all seem so preoccupied with celebrating in the rubble that was your last semblance of order, I suppose that means there’s no one else left to recount how this smouldering carcass of a reality came to be, and your twisted need to be satiated by information falls on my shoulders.<br /><br /><br />I wonder, do you all secretly wish for misfortunes on each other for your own twisted entertainment?<span style="color: #666666;"><span style="color: #444444;"> </span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="color: #444444;">Did I want to break Nightscream? No.</span></span> </span></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">And you all say I'm the cruel one.<span style="color: #444444;"> </span></span></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #444444;">It forced me to.</span> </span></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Of course, those who haven’t been utterly braindead throughout this whole façade of resistance will quickly notice the irony of this situation. Why would I break my months-long silence in order to inform you of the suffering of just another Proxy? Surely, this is nothing extraordinary and nothing worth my commenting on it, correct? Of course, the fact that you’re reading this implies the opposite.<span style="color: #444444;"> </span></span></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #444444;">I was correcting a mistake.</span> </span></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I feel no need to explain my motivations to you.<span style="color: #444444;"> </span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #444444;">"Heh~ Oh, you poor, poor thing. You really can't stand it, can you? Even from behind such a BOLD title as 'Redlight'... even from behind all the scorn and disgust... you want to be human so badly, don't you? You always have. Spencer, at least, could attempt to emulate us. But you? You can't even do that, now can you? You are Nothing, sweetheart. Nothing but a cosmic JOKE, fit only to collapse into itself! You claim to be better than us mere humans. Us... LOWLY cockroaches... but you? You're a Parasite, Redlight. A mere Disease of the Mind. And do you know what the best part is...? Despite your best efforts... despite all the bodies you make dance on your Little Red Strings... you will Fail. You will never Rule... for it is your emotions that Rule you!"</span> </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">So instead, I’ll give you what you came for, which is just another train wreck.<br /><br /><br />A question that has struck me during my prolonged absence is what makes a man. Is it their experiences? The sum of their past memories? Their sentimentalities? Their ability to choose their actions? Or is it something... more? Such a thing is impossible to study from within the Network, where all these things are crushed into one uniform will as a sum of parts rather than promoting individuality. The reasons for this are obvious of course; it would be a waste of both my and your time if I chose to explain them, and so when an opportunity presented itself I quickly took advantage of such a thing.<br /><br /><br />The Proxy you all know as Nightscream is broken beyond all recognition. This shouldn’t be news to its rather… devoted audience. Hasn’t it been obvious? The flashes of the colour Red out of nowhere, the delusions, the sudden drive to save its dead son… then again, the only one of you<i> cockroaches </i>with enough intellect to figure out the last one lies as a corpse in the café he loved so dearly, the life choked out of him by a Proxy he once dared to call his “friend”. Truly, a poetic end for a rat that wouldn’t stop sticking its disgusting nose where it did not belong. One may even go so far as to call the whole situation tragic.<br /><br /><br />But that part comes later.<br /><br /><br />From the moment I saved it from certain death, Nightscream’s will was mine; and though I often loathe the foregone conclusion, the ending to Sam Freeman’s story is an ending that any idiot could predict. So when someone <i>did</i> have the foresight to see the intended result of my meddling, I was far from pleased. The <i>thing</i> that caught me was a Highest only spoken of in hushed whispers and baited breath; The Author. He’s been a thorn in my side for various reasons, but it has become clear to me that he did not appreciate such a vocal Proxy being my unwilling mouthpiece. When Nightscream believed it was being tortured in order to punish it for being a dissident, the reality was the opposite.<br /><br /><br />Author was not trying to ruin Sam.<br /><br /><br />Instead, he was trying to save it.<br /><br /><br />You see, all of the Highest wanted to find a way to break Proxies from the Network, but Author has always been a bit more predispositioned towards an oh-so-noble cause; regardless, his research proved inconclusive. I have no reason to lie about such a thing; not when there’s evidence that when Nightscream escaped that little science project, my influence was just as strong as it was before. However, <i>my</i> Jester reaching out for help while in that idiot <i>mistake</i> of a Crafter’s protective custody couldn’t be easily forgotten. Nightscream, despite its best efforts, had not held its cards close enough to his chest, and such a fact was easily exploited.<br /><br /><br />You see, Sam never wanted for its son to be dead, never wanted Leo to be another statistic of a normal, everyday <i>accident</i>. After all it had given up, a cruel twist of fate taking away the one thing it had left to protect was just too much. Whether it was delusional or not before I started to show it the world it wanted, I cannot say.<br /><br /><br />But if I was a gambling man, I’d bet on the Nightscream everyone knew being a farce.<br /><br /><br />The rest is simple. Sam’s “friend” -and I use that term loosely- , the proxy you all knew as Sherlock, or “Joseph”, or Winston for that matter, became concerned about its mental state, as he was aware that little Leo was long dead. An offhanded comment from me here and there was all it took, and once Sherlock picked up that trail and called Nightscream to the Cafe in an attempt, I assume, to talk some sense into it, the damage was already done. I’m sure that it is rather easy to gather that Sam’s recount of that night is slightly... unreliable, but I will tell you this.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /><br /><br />It’s easy to solve matters of the mind when you just murder the detail that doesn’t add up.<br /><span style="color: #444444;"><br />“… What did you say, you pathetic little cockroach?…?”</span><br /><br />That wasn’t me, if you must know. Nightscream’s <i>choice</i> to strangle Sherlock to death when confronted with proof of Leo’s demise was one of the few allowances that I provided. What you all don’t seem to understand is that I dislike conflict. In fact, I’d like to consider myself a reasonable man. But when further failures cannot be tolerated, well… then isn’t the Network the only solution?<br /><br /><br />As an aside, I don’t understand why Sam insisted on resisting my hold. I'd pity you all, if I didn't find you so disgusting. You’re all so easy to fool. So easy to give purpose. It’s no challenge to drive corpses forward down the line, with all of them dragging their feet towards something that was never <i>real</i> in the first place. You all live within fantasy, because you have no choice. How would you deal with such<i> tragedy </i>befalling you otherwise?<span style="color: #444444;"> </span></span></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #444444;">“I’m sure you heard me loud and clear. Darling.”</span> </span></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Sam had become a liability.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #444444;">My fist connected with Nightscream’s left eye with more force than needed. The feeling of its flesh break under my knuckles felt…</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />And such things must be <i>erased</i>.<span style="color: #444444;"> </span></span></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #444444;">it felt..</span> </span></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I still find it incredibly ironic that you all seem to forget that I’m always watching you. Think about it; to me, what’s another amber-eyed puppet in a pile of corpses? What are “powers”, really, aside from rumour and hearsay?</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #444444;">so fucking</span> </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">A Gauntlet can easily be melted onto a hand with enough lighter fluid and a match.<br /><br /><span style="color: #444444;">good</span><br /><br />The monster that Nightscream referred to as “The Amber-eyed Snake” was nothing but an elaborate farce created by me; so imagine my<i> surprise</i> when some of you were so kind as to fall for it. I will say this; you are all too quick to believe in new monsters when you see them. Almost makes me wonder if you all enjoy being afraid…<br /><br /><br />Of course, when Sam started to resist the illusions I made it see, and started to deconstruct the wild-goose chase I was sending it on, utilizing the last scraps of its sanity, that just would not do. And while I do acknowledge the mind is a powerful thing, being trapped in one is not a fate I would wish on anyone. Of course, that is the<i> punishment </i>that I subjected Sam eventually, which I can assure you has driven it to desperate measures.<br /><br /><i><br /></i><span style="color: #444444;">Sam only laughed at my outburst</span><i><br /></i><br /><br />And so, it comes to this.<br /><br /><br /><span style="color: #444444;">“I guess you’re more human than you think, Redlight~!”</span><br /><br /><br />I have released Nightscream from my hold, for it to<i> enjoy</i> the rest of its short, pathetic life while it lasts. To be fully in control and aware of the atrocities it committed, with and without my influence, and for it to be also aware of the fact that it no longer has a reason for living. It is currently with Mr. Banks, who also proved to be another incredible disappointment. I suppose birds of a feather flock together, as he was kind enough to peel the remains of my Jester off the road after it had celebrated its newfound freedom... by throwing itself in front of a truck.<span style="color: #444444;"> </span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #444444;">I didn’t think</span> </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I personally find that slightly<i> poetic</i>, don’t you?<span style="color: #444444;"> </span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #444444;">I just acted</span> </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I will always be watching. Waiting. I don’t like letting a good body go to waste. But Sam Freeman’s story is ending, and I don’t intend to be there when it concludes with a dull, pathetic whimper.<span style="color: #444444;"> </span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #444444;">Crushing Sam’s mind</span> </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">So take this as a warning.<span style="color: #444444;"> </span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #444444;">Until its stupid smirk disappeared</span> </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Your history isn't a straight line. It never has been. It doesn't go <i>anywhere</i>, and it never will. Neither will Humanity. Going around and around in a circle for all of time. Live and die and be forgotten.<span style="color: #444444;"> </span></span></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #444444;">And then I let it break free</span> </span></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Your Sage said it best. The last refuge of dangerous men... is <i>denial</i>.<span style="color: #444444;"> </span></span></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #444444;">As its eye filled with red</span> </span></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Humanity has so much faith in their meaning, their free will, and each other, when all it brings them is misfortune and suffering. Things that they’d do anything to forget. To not be held accountable.<span style="color: #444444;"> </span></span></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #444444;">So it would never forget who it belongs to</span> </span></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">And wouldn’t you know it, I just so happen to grant the wishes of the damned.<span style="color: #444444;"> </span></span></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #444444;">And then I did it again</span> </span></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">So do not stand in my way, and when I come for you, come quietly.<br /><br /><span style="color: #444444;">And again.</span><br /><br />Because if you don’t… well, look at the former author of this memoir.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #444444;">And again.</span><br /><br />Sam Freeman will die soon.<br /><br /><span style="color: #444444;">And again.</span><br /><br />And when it does…<br /><br /><br /><span style="color: #444444;">And again</span><br /><br /><br />It.<br /><br /><br /><span style="color: #444444;">And again</span><br /><br /><br />Will.<span style="color: #444444;"> </span></span></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #444444;">And again</span> </span></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Hurt.<br /><br /><span style="color: #444444;"><br />Look who’s laughing now?</span><br /><br /><br />Regards,<br /><br />Redlight</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span></span>Nightscreamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08241679908254552393noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3626790529497436404.post-72859294199939910232013-02-02T21:32:00.000-08:002018-05-26T11:15:57.473-07:00you have llisten to meit's all been a lie. a joke. a goddamn PERFORMANCE. i can't stay here long. can't stop moving. have to... i'm out. for now, i'm out. i mmang ed to... putll from his strings. threads. .<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
from the RED</div>
<br />
but it won't<br />
<br />
stay that way if i don't keep moving. i have to ggetttttttt<br />
<br />
no<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
no time for that<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
not that</div>
<br />
<br />
listen to me. its been a mask. this whole time, it was a DAMN MASK and i didn't SEE he didn't LET me see kept a hand over my eyes and his other on my throat i just...<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
there was never a "Valtiel"</div>
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
it's all been screwed up. all shambled around and rewritten to include him. to give me a history with him thatt never happened. that never existed because HE never existed!! i know...</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
i know the name. from tjhe records in the Organization there is some biarrre mountain man something on the other proxy-but-maybe-not named Valtiel who does show up every so often but he could be one or several but it DOESN'T MATTER because it's the scarf. The RED scarf and the AMBER EYES that don't match that don't EXIST that was purely HIM purely</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: red;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: red;"><b>Redlight</b></span></div>
<br />
<br />
he's alive. more than alive, he's building. destroying. tearing through everything and he's not even wearing his FACE. he's worn it before. he's visited several of you. the Organization is decimated and his N - E - T - W - O - R - K never stops GROWING. Spreading. FEEDING on itself like a virus. Father hasn't interfered, Father<br />
<br />
<br />
i'm not<br />
a proxy anymore<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
he</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
T</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
O</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
R</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
E</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
it </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
out of me</div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
to make me</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: red;"><b>H</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: red;"><b>I</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: red;"><b>S </b></span></div>
</div>
<br /><div style="text-align: center;">
to put me on strings and just...</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Winston.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
i'm so sorry<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
I'm so sorry for what I did to you<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
for not</div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
LISTENING to you for not</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
for not...</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
pleease</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
forrgivemee</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
i couldnt llose him a secondd t ime </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<br />
icouldnt<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<br /> and th en i couldt stand<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
losing </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
youu</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
i couldnt L OSE you<br />
not like</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
that</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
god not liek thatt...</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
you were always my voice of reason</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
my</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
thoughhtss</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br />
my screa ms upon </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
hhis strinngsss</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br />
<br />
became your v voice</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
becaame</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
you</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br />
<br />
beca me<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
my<br />
<br />
last<br />
<br />
<br />
<strike>rope</strike> hope <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
against him<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
against<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
the RED<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
the RED in everything that PULSES FROM EVERYTHING that IS everything that follows me haunts me HUNTS me SMOTHERS ME until i can't breathe can't run can't do anything butt be swallowed by it again by HIM again and his grip tightens on my throat my mmind my ssoouul and it wontstopburning<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-small;">godhelpme</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
it isn't ever ggoing too stop<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
HE ISN'T EVER G OING TO<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>S - T - O - P</b></div>
<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
Nightscreamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08241679908254552393noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3626790529497436404.post-57236280351540115162013-01-29T20:34:00.000-08:002018-05-26T11:10:15.090-07:00<i>the w orld is </i><br />
<i>sh u t t e r i ng </i><br />
<i>and </i><br />
<i>sh a ki ng</i><br />
<i>and </i><br />
<i>s h i v e r i n g </i><br />
<i>out of control. </i><br />
<i>there s a storm building. hidden. boiling and itching n crawlingg </i><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> beneath the skin</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> like insecrts. eating you from the inside out. flesh eaters. some humans are flesh eaters too. they eat away. wearing you out. down. crippling. until you feel like youre gon ig to hear an echo when you talk. bouncing off your ribcage into the exxpance of nothing that</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>only gets</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
"...Why did he do it?"<i> </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>worse</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> </i> </div>
"The Author never snapped<br />
the leash like that on me before.... <br />
did he think I was just<br />
going to roll over<br />
and play dead?"<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> rattle</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> rattle </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> rattle</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> screeches and </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> groans</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> clawing cries of </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> timber</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> and nails</i></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><i> it's all coming apart, isn't it?</i></b></div>
<i> </i> <br />
"He threatened me.<br />
He threatened my family.<br />
He had to know how I'd react.<br />
It's not like I was a faceless file.<br />
It's not like<br />
he didn't know me.<br />
I was brought into his office several times.<br />
I thought, of all the Highest,<br />
The Author would understand.<br />
Let me do things my way.<i> </i> <br />
The Other Highest<br />
never approved of me.<br />
My attitude.<br />
But The Author was different.<br />
Least I thought he was. <br />
I didn't mean for things to go this far but... <br />
I couldn't<br />
let it happen.<br />
I couldn't let him<br />
HURT them. <br />
You understand,<br />
don't you...?"<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>pounding. slitting. blistering my skull my m ind theres flashes and twisted of images one on top of the other amonst the RED and white like the stains on Alex's sheets when I</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> s</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> w</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> u</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> n</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> g</i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i> and it went thud. then </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>nothing. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>just dead eyes and red on white on red on...</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> but Jo is here. Jo understands. he has always understood me. always known what i was thinking. what i was feeling. he's always been there for me. he's my friend. my closest friend. i can </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> t rust</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> him </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i> </i> </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
"Of course, I do.</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
But, of course, <br />
I can't help but feel responsible </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
for this whole mess <br />
in the first place. </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
However, what use is there to me </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
blaming the monster </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
that's truly at fault? <br />
I suppose that's in the past now. </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
You forget, Sam, </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
that this all could have been </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
a product of... </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
careful misdirection. </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
The product of the Devil </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
whispering in your ear. </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
Or someone else's,</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
for that matter. </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
I have never been a gambling man, </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
you know that. </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
But a bet against the <br />
Crimson King </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
having his grubby fingers </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
where they did not belong </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
is a stupid bet indeed. </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
You know how he is, Sam. </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
What he can do. </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
For all we know, </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
the entire situation </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
was just misinformation </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
built upon </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
a foundation </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
of lies." </div>
"I... suppose<br />
it's possible that<br />
The Author was mislead somehow?<br />
I don't know what to think.<br />
Everything just seems so...<br />
complicated lately.<br />
So very complicated..."<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
"As if it wasn't <br />
complicated enough before." </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>such a kind smile </i><br />
<i>such a welcome </i><br />
<i>contrast </i><br />
<i>to the blistering storm outside </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
"But you've never really been one <i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
to give up, have you?</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
Not with Alex or Leo </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
and certainly not now." </div>
"...I kknow that he...<br />
isn't dead.<br />
He can't be dead.<br />
There's no possibl e way.<br />
Valtiel claims he is...<br />
but one can hardly trust<br />
a snake tongue,<br />
riight...?" <br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
"Yes, I'd be inclined</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
to agree with you. </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
If not The Tree, </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
what has our Red Friend </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
even been killed by? </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
No, he's probably taking </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
his sweet time </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
dismantling all semblance </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
of order we used to have. </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
It's disgusting, isn't it? </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
How quickly he turns </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
to chaos as a solution </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
to a question </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
that nobody is asking...." <br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>he suddenly turns to me </i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>puzzled</i> </div>
<br />
"But here's</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
the real problem, Sam. </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
What if it wasn't Author </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
who was misled...?" <br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> my stomach </i><br />
<i> gives a twist</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
"I...</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
...I... suppose it's possible? </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I am merely<br />
humann. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
As capable of being </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
deceived as<br />
an yone. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
But how?</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
In what way? </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Those Proxies had come for me.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
They had </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
an arrest warrant for me </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
issued by The Author. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
They tortured me. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
They were trying to find out </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
where they were.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Alex and Leo. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I couldn't </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
tell them that. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I <i>couldn't</i>...!"<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> pound</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> and pound</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> and pound</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> and CLAWING<b> </b>at ny s skull</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> mmy EYE</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> ny e ye iis<b> </b>B BURNNING </i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
"...then tthat... </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
...sna ke came... </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
and made everything </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
a million times </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
worse.<br />
Just </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Amber </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Eyed </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Snakes... </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
the bboth </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
of them..."</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
"It's interesting</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
that you use 'Snake' to </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
describe one, </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
and 'The Devil' to </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
describe the other. </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
You've got to wonder </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
if maybe you've got it </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
the wrong way around. </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
Think, Sam! </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
Why would your subconscious mind </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
make that association </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
between the two of them? " <br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> speechless</i><br />
<i> i'm speechless</i><br />
<i>I don't know whattt </i><br />
<i>it n</i> <i>ever </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>it never made sense</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>i know that</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>i had always known that</i><br />
<i>so little of it all</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>actually made sense</i><br />
<i>but it split my </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>skull </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>to even ju</i><br />
</div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
"What are you missing?</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
If... </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
no </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>when</i> they tortured you, </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
were they really looking </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
for something <br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
so simple?" </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>hammering</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>beating</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>BURNING</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>my mind</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>to even... </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>why had The Author singled me out?</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>why had he issued a warrent</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>instead of just...</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>asking me to come in?</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>why had it all</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>spooked him so much?</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>why had it been put</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>on such top priority</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>when t here were so much</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>bigger</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>things</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>to wworry about?</i><br />
<i>i t nnever mad e sen </i></div>
<i>"</i>...You can't trust anyone, Sam </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
You can't trust me.<br />
You can't trust Redlight.</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
And you sure as Hell </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
can't trust yourself. </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br />
What are you doing? </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br />
being satisfied </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br />
in a bed of lies? </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<b>This isn't like you!</b>" <i> </i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> theres a </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> suddden</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> FLASH </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> a glimpse</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> a shadow</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> an impression</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> of somethi ng</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> that felt</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> true</i></div>
<br />
"The Author...<br />
said...<br />
that he<br />
couldn't<br />
help me...?"<i><br /></i><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>it diidn't</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>add</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>up </i></div>
<br />
"...help me<br />
with<br />
what...?<br />
It doesn't make any<br />
SENSE!"<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> the t orture had been </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>exxperimen tal</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> buy whyy?</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>why bother go to that</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> lengt?h </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> why isolatem e</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> from the other prsioners?</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> why take</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> so m many precautions?</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>why had there been sso</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> MANY</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> involved?</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>too mmuch</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>to many</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> m any </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> questions</i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
"I can't think!</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I can't THINK<br />
pastt <br />
this damn headache!"<br />
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> im ppacing again</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> back</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> and</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> forth</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> and</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> forth</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> and</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> back</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> stirring dust</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> on the</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> splitting</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> Cafe</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> floor </i></div>
<br />
"it just wwon't STOP! </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
What couldn't The Author<br />
help me with? </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Why is so much focused on me? </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
First Red, </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
then The Author, </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
now Valtiel... </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
or<i> Valtiels,</i> rather... </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
why?<br />
WHY?! </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Things don't get<br />
this complicated. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Not THIS complicated! </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I'm NOTHING! </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I'm a Servant!</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
A damn high school teacher</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
for the love of God..."</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: right;">
"I know it's hard."<br />
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> he sound</i><br />
<i>so much mor e </i><br />
<i>distant now </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>as if he was</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> so far away</i></div>
<i> </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
"But you're running out of time, Sam.</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
You've made a terrible mistake... </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
in assuming <br />
that your memories </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
could be trusted. </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
I wouldn't feel too badly about it. </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
You're human, </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
and that's all you can be.</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
To expect yourself </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
to have questioned </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
your recollections sooner </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
is a waste of time. <br />
But that doesn't mean <br />
you can keep pretending <br />
you aren't nnoticing the <br />
cra <br />
cks." </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>he swallows</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>seemingly finding it </i><br />
<i>hard to continue</i><br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>even as i</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>slowly come to a halt from my</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i> p a c i n ggg</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i> myy gaunt lett</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i> l e aning against a </i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i> support</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>b</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>e</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>a</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>m</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>my head pulsing with each</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i> word I hheard</i><br />
</div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
"Just iggnore<br />
the headache for a s econd. </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
Doesn't this all seem too... <br />
convenient? </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
The minute you'd want </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
revenge on The Devil, </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
a new Snake shows up... </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
for what? </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
I'm going <br />
to be frank here, <br />
Sam, </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
please forgive me, </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
but you're nothing special. </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
You're right: </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
you shouldn't have attracted</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
any attention whatsoever." <br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>he grimaces, </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> holding his own head,</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>fingers gripping tight enough</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> to turn their tips</i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>pure white.</i></div>
<br />
<i> </i><i> </i>"So what</div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
could have <br />
possibly happened </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
that would suddenly </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
make you <br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
a person of interest...?"</div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>a siic knesss</i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> ch u rni n g</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> inside </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> a Fear </i><br />
<i> b e n e athe</i><br />
<i> the P A I N</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> What ccan i</i><br />
<i> t trust</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> if not my own </i><br />
<i> mindd?</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> m y own</i><br />
<i> memmories?</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> when did things </i><br />
<i> start</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> to stop </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> making sense? </i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
"...Redlight disappeared. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
He disappeared and... </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
there was suddenly this</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
tornado<br />
that replaced him..." </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>i feel</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> so weak</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> i want to sit down</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> i nee d to si </i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br />
"DDid... </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Au<br />
thor think... </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I knew wh where he wwas? </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
What he was... </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
ddoing?"<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
"EExcell<br />
ent." </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>he panted </i><br />
<i> just the same as mme </i><br />
<i>a mirror </i><br />
<i>of the pain </i><br />
<i> and </i><br />
<i>exhuastion </i><br />
<i> i felt gnawing away </i><br />
<i>inside </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
"What would that<br />
have to do with </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
'helping you', </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
however? </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
Author is a straightforward man. </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
He wouldn't say </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
anything he didn't-"<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>he's cut off </i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>by another </i><br />
<i>s </i><br />
<i>t </i><br />
<i>a </i><br />
<i>b </i><br />
<i>of pain </i><br />
<i>shooting </i><br />
<i>splitting </i><br />
<i>burning </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>through his skull, </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>a silent whimper </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>on the edge of his breath. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> I sta</i><br />
<i> gg</i><br />
<i> er</i><br />
<i> grabbing hold</i><br />
<i> of the b</i><br />
<i> e</i><br />
<i> a</i><br />
<i> m</i><br />
<i> to support me</i><br />
<i> as i fight against</i><br />
<i> the sudden S</i><br />
<i> P</i><br />
<i> I</i><br />
<i> K</i><br />
<i> E</i><br />
<i> B O L T I N G</i><br />
<i> through </i><br />
<i> my</i><br />
<i> skull</i><br />
<i> out</i><br />
<i> my</i><br />
<i> EYE </i><br />
<i> everything</i><br />
<i> spinning </i><br />
<i> sway</i><br />
<i> ingg</i><br />
<i> barely</i><br />
<i> standing</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> stomach</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> t</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> w</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> i</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> s</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> t</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> i</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> n </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> g</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br />
"arre yyoou... aallright? </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
My ffriiend...?</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
WWinston...?" </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: right;">
"-mean."</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>he finally finishes</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>straining.</i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
"I'm fine.</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
Everything's going t <br />
o be <br />
okay </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
as long as we <br />
keep <br />
going. </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
eeven a ssuming </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
Author's comment <br />
meant nothing.</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
why wouldn't Leo <br />
have been used </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
to control you before this? </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
The information </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
was not that hard to find. </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
Children lleave <br />
paper trails, </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
no matter what. </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
Someone who knew what to look for<br />
</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
could have found the signs."<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>he's shaking </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>so </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>badly </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>just </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> like me </i><br />
</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
"Unless</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
they hit a dead <br />
end, Sam. </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
Unless there was nothing </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
more <br />
to <br />
look <br />
for."<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> I shook my head. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>Slightly </i><br />
<i>at first</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> then a touch more firm. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br />
<b><i> Or is 'desperate' a better word?</i></b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br />
"No, they... </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
they wouldn't<br />
have known. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
They couldn't have known.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I didn't give my name.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Not my real one.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
'Freeman' is a lie.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
My favorite<br />
actor.<br />
Nothing more.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Leo... </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
was protected. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I kept him safe. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
That was always</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
top priority. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Always. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
He stayed safe.<br />
He..."</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>a sickening feeling</i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> stirred in my stomach. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>this i wrong. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> this is </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>so </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> so </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>wrong...</i></div>
<br />
"...he was my little boy.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
he was so young...</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
why...<br />
would they</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
have even looked?</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
You said it yourself. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br />
I'm nothing special. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br />
<br />
I wasn't even<br />
<br />
trained.<br />
<br />
I'm not..."<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
"... Sam.</div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
</div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: right;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
Why did you use past tense?"<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
"I...</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br />
<br />
I didn't.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
I'm sorry, that<br />
<br />
was... an aaccident </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
I mmeant...<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
i meanntt... <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
it...</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
it was...</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
an accident....</div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
a....<br />
<br />
<br />
....no...<br />
<br />
<br />
no, it's not possible.<br />
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
it's not!<br />
I held him! <br />
<br />
<br />
I HELD HIM!<br />
<br />
<br />
I was WITH him!<br />
<br />
He remembered me,<br />
Winston <br />
He said he'd missed me!<br />
He wanted to come home!<br />
He...!<br />
<br />
He...<br />
<br />
<br />
my bboy...<br />
<br />
<br />
mmy..."<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>it huurts</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><br /></i>
<i><br /></i>
<i>it all hu</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><br /></i>
<i> rts so mu cch</i></div>
<br />
<br />
"....Wiins<br />
tton.....?<br />
<br />
<br />
whattss<br />
hhappennig<br />
t to<br />
m ee...? </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
"Leo's dead."</div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>voice like a quiet breeze </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> in the stagnant air</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>of the cafe.</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><i>No, it's a bar, isn't it...?</i></b></div>
<br />
"Two years ago,<br />
he ran out into the road </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
and was mowed down </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
by someone minding </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
their own business.<br />
<br />
Nobody was at fault.</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
His foster parents </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
were inconsolable.</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
Fate dealt him a cruel hand. </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
Declared dead at the scene.</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
Just another dead deer </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
at the side of the road.</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
A statistic.</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
A tragedy.<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
That's what's going on, Sam. <br />
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You're living a LIE!"<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
"...nno.</div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br />
<br />
<br />
N-NO!<br />
<br />
<br />
youre wwrog! </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Leo...</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br />
Leeo w-was pplay ing<br />
<br />
<br />
i ssaw him<br />
<br />
i i saw mmy<br />
booy<br />
<br />
i... </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br />
he....<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
he rran<br />
t o me"<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>sha kki n g </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> i</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> evve rythiing </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> jjust...</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>i could f eel the bblood</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>from my nails</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>grripping my</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>s</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>k</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>u</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>l</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>l</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> i</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>w</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>a</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> n</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> t</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> t</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> o </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> R</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> I</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>P</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><br /></i>
<i> i</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> t</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><br /></i>
<i> f r o m</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>m</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>y</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>F - L - E - S - H</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>its wrong</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>its lies</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>its not REAL</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><br /><br /><br />GETITOUTOFME</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><br /></i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br />
<i> </i><br />
"GGodd <br />
<br />
nno<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I<br />
hhad<br />
hiim.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
I... <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
...sstop it...<br />
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: right;">
...stop it. </div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<b><br /></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>S T O P I T !!!"</b><br />
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
"...Let me tell you a story, Sam. </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
A Proxy goes<br />
to their only friend</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
on a dark and stormy night.</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
The Proxy's friend says that its important.</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
That the Proxy has been acting...<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
strange.<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<div style="text-align: right;">
Tell me..." </div>
<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>his voice sounds</i><br />
<i>so</i><br />
<i>strange </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>but </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>familiar...? </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: right;">
"What did your friend show you that night? </div>
<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
What could have possibly<br />
been so important?"<br />
</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>a shudder passed</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>t h r o u g h me</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> r at tlin g me</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>ra tt ling like the roof</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>the walls</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>the floor</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>the world</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> pulling </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>from its base</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> coming </i><br />
<i> l</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> o </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> o </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> s </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> e</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><b>falling apart, don't you mean?</b></i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
"....hiis...</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
dde ath</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br />
c-certificate...<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
his....<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
oh God<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
God<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
pplease noo<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
mm y<br />
boy<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
he wwas j ust aa<br />
BOY...!!<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
myy<br />
bboy<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
mmy<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
bbaby boy..."<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: right;">
"You had been acting like he was alive."</div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>that voice keeps twisting. so unlike him.</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> pacing around me.</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>circling me</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>constricting around</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> unforgiving eyes </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>never leaving me </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>ever</i> </div>
</div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
"So your friend confronted you. Showed you the evidence.<br />
Said you were delusional. </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
Explained that The Author had never sent you into any suicide mission<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
as punishment, but rather because you were the only one that could even come close to handling the job. That your allegiance towards the Red Devil had... changed you. That he was twisting everything around on you and turning his 'Jester' into a real life Fool. And when your friend finally finished </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
talking... when he placed a hand on your shoulder </div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
and quietly stated that he would help you through this,</div>
<br />
<br />
help you get your life back...."</div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<i> </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>i felt the floorboards hit my knees</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> the palms of my hands</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> everything coming up at me in a rush of movement that </i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i> flooded over my mind. plunging me into ice and </i></div>
<i>heat and tearing storms of blood and screams and restraints on my wrists and ankles and chest as i begged the Author to kill me. i didn't want to go back i didn't want to get swallowed by the RED. it choked me until i couldn't breath couldn't think couldn't SEE what was right before my eyes until there were circles of bruises with eyes that never closed. only stared. only stared up</i> at me as my fingers closed tighter around that throat. that throat that pulse that LIFE that is...</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br />
was...</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br />
my best friend... </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
and i did'nt stop </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
until it did</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
"...I killed him." </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
all lies</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
all been nothing </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
but</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
lies</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br />
everything </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
is</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
RED</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
s p ll in t e r i ng in tto</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
s moth ering </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
overr</div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
infect</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
i</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
n</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
g</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
inF ESTii ng</div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
evretihng<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
EVVERYTHING</div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
jusst REDD</div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
RED<br />
<br />
<br />
RED<br />
<br />
<br />
RED<br />
<br />
<br />
RED<br />
<br />
<br />
RED<br />
<br />
<br />
RED<br />
<br />
<br />
RED<br />
<br />
<br />
RED<br />
<br />
<br />
RED<br />
<br />
<br />
RED<br />
<br />
<br />
RED<br />
<br />
<br />
RED<br />
<br />
<br />
RED<br />
<br />
<br />
RED<br />
<br />
<br />
RED<br />
<br />
<br />
RED<br />
<br />
<br />
RED<br />
<br />
<br />
RED<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
RED<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
RED<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
RED<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
RED<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
RED<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
no<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
RED<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
NO<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
NO GETOUTT<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
GGET OUT<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
GETOUTOFMYHEAD!!!! </div>
<br /></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Nightscreamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08241679908254552393noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3626790529497436404.post-23434838783551583632013-01-25T10:49:00.000-08:002018-05-26T09:57:38.087-07:00<div style="text-align: right;">
"...Have you been</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
keeping track </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
of these blackout of yours, Sam? </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
Where you last remember being? </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
Where you wake up? </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
When? In what way?" </div>
"No, I...<br />
I haven't been doing anything.<br />
It's hard to keep<br />
track of it, Winston.<br />
Sometimes it's... only a few hours...<br />
But I usually... wake up soaked in blood...<br />
or smelling of gasoline and smoke...<br />
sometimes... He's there...<br />
...sometimes not..." <br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
"All the more reason to keep track." </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
"You're right...<br />
though, it seems, lately<br />
I can't keep track of anything<br />
hard as I try to.<br />
I'm so tired...<br />
it all just...<br />
slips through my fingers.<br />
You need to be careful, Winston.<br />
If I ever come here<br />
and don't seem... myself..."<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
"I have nothing to fear. </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
Not from you, Sam."</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
"Dammit, Winston,</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I'm not in control all the time!</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
When I black out, I don't...</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I could hurt you.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I could kill you.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I came so close to before, I..."</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
"...Then who's in control, Sam?</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
If not you, </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
then who?" </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
"...I don't know. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
...Promise me, Winston.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Promise me you'll kill me if I try.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I don't...</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
want to hurt you.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
You're my best friend.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
There's no one who knows me better.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Who knows me more than I know myself.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I forgave you for your part in this mess.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I know you only had </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
my best interest in mind.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
That's why I walked out that night.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
That's why...</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I made them all believe</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
you were dead.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
It was the only way.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
The only way...</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
This Life would leave you be.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
The only way you'd be able to walk away.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
They'd drag you back in</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
if they knew it was a lie.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
They expect not but brutality from me.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
A monster's brutality. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
No mercy.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Not even towards...</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
my closest Kin.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
But it's in that... </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
that I can protect you.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I can live with all of them thinking</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
that I killed you.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
If you gain even the slimmest chance...</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
to have a second life from it..."</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
"I know, Sam.<br />
I know better than anyone. </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
But that doesn't </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
answer the question." </div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
"I don't <i>know</i>, Winston<br />
I...<br />
I don't know.<br />
It's not like I...<br />
haven't tried.<br />
It's not like I...<br />
haven't dug through the migraines.<br />
clawed through the nightmares.<br />
The Flashes of White and Black<br />
And Red<br />
just rred stains on white<br />
a ring of purple and black <br />
a nec<br />
klace<br />
of brruisess..."</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<div style="text-align: right;">
"...Sam, are you alright?"</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
"...My eye. It...</div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
it... it's bburning. it...</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
it's nothing.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
i'm sure.</div>
it's just sstinging.<br />
that...<br />
thaat's all..."<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
"...Sam, you have a</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
blood spot in that eye. </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
Quite a bad one too </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
Did you know that? </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
Sam... </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
where did you get that?"<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
"...blood spot...? my...?</div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
...yess...</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
...yes...</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
i know that </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
i waas hit, </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
sometime ago...</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
why do you ask...?"</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
"Who... hit you, Sam?</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
I know it stings. </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
Trust me, I know. </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
BBut I want you... to tell me who hit you. </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
You remember that, </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
don't you?"<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
"...Heinrich...</div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Heinrich Schultz...</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
beccame The Butler years ago.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
He punched mme before I </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
was even aware enough to staand..."</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
"...No, Sam..."</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
"back in tthat mansion...</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
everything was splattered...</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
splattered...</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
splattered... <i>red</i>...</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
the blood was everywhere</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
on everything</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Heinrich was so distraught</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
so horrified</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
so... smothered in grief</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
he punched me across the jaw</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
weak and unbalanced</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
ripping me from his own grip</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
and i fell to the floor...</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
still feeling so</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
numbed</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
from Him..."</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
"Sam,</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
pplease. </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
This isn't the time. </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
You need to ffocus now. </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
Who was it who hit you?" </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
"...i remember... there was an arm...</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
laying on the floorboards...</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
a lifeless arm in a puddle </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
of cold clotting blood. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
the rest of the body hidden </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
around the corner of the doorway. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
defensive bruising decorating across</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
pale, smooth skin </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
so much better than</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
the delicate gold bracelet around her slim wrist.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
finely cut diamonds and rubies </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
birthing the image of a flower. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
its image reflecting into the crimson. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
just like her ruby ring </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
paled in comparison</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
to the ring of blood that was crafted down her fingers</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
from where two nails had been torn off</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
so delicate...<br />
so brutal...</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
so... beautiful..."</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
"Sam, llisten to me.</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
It waasn't The Butler. </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
You know that. </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
We bboth know you've earned </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
a number of fists </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
from a number of people </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
over the years.</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
But they didn't make that mmark, Sam. </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
They didn't hit you liike a ton of bricks. </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
Their fists didn't hit you harrd enough </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
to burst a bblood vessel in your eye </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
in a fit of ccomplete ragge </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
So wwho was it? </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
Think!" </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
"i ddont'...</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
i... don't want to.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Winston? </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
are you okkay...?"</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
"I... I'll be fine.</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
Just think. THINK. </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
SSam, come on! </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
Who was it?"<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
"I... </div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I ddon't know.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
god it<i> burns</i>...</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Winston, pplease...</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
my...</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
my heead..."<br />
</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
"Yes, you ddo!</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
I know it's burnning. </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
I know your sskull is splittiing </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
in two right noww<br />
</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
but you can't quit<br />
<br />
. </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
Focus, Sam!"<br />
<br />
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
"...no...</div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"> ...noo i... </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">...'</span>moorre...</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
...huummann...</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
...thaaan...</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
... yyouu...</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
...tthoouughtt'..."</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
"YES!<br />
</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
J-Just a... bit more, Sam.</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
Keep p-pushing forward. </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
Who did you say that to? </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
Keep focused, Sam,</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
we're <span style="font-family: inherit;">r-</span>running out of<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">UklOR09GQlJVSVNFU1JJTkdPRkJSVUlTRVNSSU5HT0ZCUlVJU0VTUklOR09GQlJVSVNFU1JJTkdPRkJSVUlTRVNSSU5HT0ZCUlVJU0VTUklOR09GQlJVSVNFU1JJTkdPRkJSVUlTRVNSSU5HT0ZCUlVJU0VTUklOR09GQlJVSVNFU1JJTkdPRkJSVUlTRVNSSU5HT0ZCUlVJU0VTUklOR09GQlJVSVNFU1JJTkdPRkJSVUlTRVNSSU5HT0ZCUlVJU0VTUklOR09GQlJVSVNFU1JJTkdPRkJSVUlTRVNSSU5HT0ZCUlVJU0VTUklOR09GQlJVSVNFU1JJTkdPRkJSVUlTRVNSSU5HT0ZCUlVJU0VTUklOR09GQlJVSVNFU1JJTkdPRkJSVUlTRVNSSU5HT0ZCUlVJU0VTUklOR09GQlJVSVNFU1JJTkdPRkJSVUlTRVNSSU5HT0ZCUlVJU0VTUklOR09GQlJVSVNFU1JJTkdPRkJSVUlTRVNSSU5HT0ZCUlVJU0VTUklOR09GQlJVSVNFU1JJTkdPRkJSVUlTRVNSSU5HT0ZCUlVJU0VTUklOR09GQlJVSVNFU1JJTkdPRkJSVUlTRVNSSU5HT0ZCUlVJU0VTUklOR09GQlJVSVNFU1JJTkdPRkJSVUlTRVNSSU5HT0ZCUlVJU0VTUklOR09GQlJVSVNFU1JJTkdPRkJSVUlTRVNSSU5HT0ZCUlVJU0VTUklOR09GQlJVSVNFU1JJTkdPRkJSVUlTRVNSSU5HT0ZCUlVJU0VTUklOR09GQlJVSVNFU1JJTkdPRkJSVUlTRVNSSU5HT0ZCUlVJU0VTUklOR09GQlJVSVNFU1JJTkdPRkJSVUlTRVNSSU5HT0ZCUlVJU0VTUklOR09GQlJVSVNFU1JJTkdPRkJSVUlTRVNSSU5HT0ZCUlVJU0VTUklOR09GQlJVSVNFU1JJTkdPRkJSVUlTRVNSSU5HT0ZCUlVJU0VTUklOR09GQlJVSVNFU1JJTkdPRkJSVUlTRVNSSU5HT0ZCUlVJU0VTUklOR09GQlJVSVNFU1JJTkdPRkJSVUlTRVNSSU5HT0ZCUlVJU0VTUklOR09GQlJVSVNFU1JJTkdPRkJSVUlTRVNSSU5HT0ZCUlVJU0VTUklOR09GQlJVSVNFU1JJTkdPRkJSVUlTRVNSSU5HT0ZCUlVJU0VTUklOR09GQlJVSVNFU1JJTkdPRkJSVUlTRVNSSU5HT0ZCUlVJU0VTUklOR09GQlJVSVNFU1JJTkdPRkJSVUlTRVNSSU5HT0ZCUlVJU0VTUklOR09GQlJVSVNFU1JJTkdPRkJSVUlTRVNSSU5HT0ZCUlVJU0VTUklOR09GQlJVSVNFU1JJTkdPRkJSVUlTRVNSSU5HT0ZCUlVJU0VTUklOR09GQlJVSVNFU1JJTkdPRkJSVUlTRVNSSU5HT0ZCUlVJU0VTUklOR09GQlJVSVNFU1JJTkdPRkJSVUlTRVNSSU5HT0ZCUlVJU0VTUklOR09GQlJVSVNFU1JJTkdPRkJSVUlTRVNSSU5HT0ZCUlVJU0VTUklOR09GQlJVSVNFU1JJTkdPRkJSVUlTRVNSSU5HT0ZCUlVJU0VTUklOR09GQlJVSVNFU1JJTkdPRkJSVUlTRVNSSU5HT0ZCUlVJU0VTUklOR09GQlJVSVNFU1JJTkdPRkJSVUlTRVNSSU5HT0ZCUlVJU0VTUklOR09GQlJVSVNFU1JJTkdPRkJSVUlTRVNSSU5HT0ZCUlVJU0VTUklOR09GQlJVSVNFU1JJTkdPRkJSVUlTRVNSSU5HT0ZCUlVJU0VTUklOR09GQlJVSVNFU1JJTkdPRkJSVUlTRVNSSU5HT0ZCUlVJU0VT</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">MD2: <br />MD4: 05393976b70e87e016ccff760ba5bdc9<br />MD5: ce3de3f15d5b48a95962ab4dd2555655<br />CRC 8, ccitt, 16, 32 : <br /><br />CRYPT (form: $ MD5? $ SALT $ CRYPT):<br />$1$vu0V3Or9$uxGCx.N9k8Mg3AlUYu43U/<br /> (form: SALT[2] CRYPT[11]):<br />psmwjM8exVxQk<br /><br />SHA1: 2c552b68051b840777c167311ba547263e451df9<br />RIPEMD-160: <br /> 8e3d508b1eebeb957d068daba64dbf8798fb17e1<br /> </span>Nightscreamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08241679908254552393noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3626790529497436404.post-34578346146797798592013-01-22T21:45:00.000-08:002013-04-15T20:58:52.057-07:00Things Are Supposed To Be Simple For A Proxy.<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">You Serve Him.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">You Follow Orders.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">You Eat. Sleep. Kill. Survive... and then Die.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Fellow Proxies are just meant to be... the same brand of cog that you are. Turning over the same gears. The same routine. The same pattern. Day after day after day. Just faces in the crowd. Fit to be replaced by the next face when they fail to Survive that day.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">but humans can never keep things simple... can they?</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>it's early December</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>night is dark early</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>wind howling</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>good night to be inside</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>had already spent a few days in one spot</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>one cubby hole of a hotel room</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>a disaster zone of papers and notes</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>trying to make sense of the senseless</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>logic of the illogical</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>a pointless endeavor from the start</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>it's not just about Valtiel anymore</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>least</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>maybe not </i> </span><br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>then there's just</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>a small sound</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>dismissible at first</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>if it was not so rare to hear </i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>a simple tap, tap, tap </i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>on the old, </i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>beaten </i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>door</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>just that</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>then nothing more </i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">When the scene closes for the Runners</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">Kali stirred just as i did</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">we didn't get guests</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">especially when no one was supposed to know</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">where in the world we were </span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">"...Who is it?" </span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>there's a pause</i></span></span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>as though expecting his answer</i></span></span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>to not be welcomed quite as warm as another </i></span></span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>"...David."</i></span></span></i></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">and the curtain closes for a pause</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>just open the door <br />only a crack </i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>semi-automatic in hand </i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>enough to let the wind in </i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>but nothing more </i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>he stands waiting</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>patient yet pained</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>blood drenched down his leg</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>ugly and bleeding</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>already had a bullet in him</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>and the night had barely begun</i></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">that would be when the Monsters we Are </span><br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>he was a pain that i didn't need</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>just another detail</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>amongst a nest</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>that was already too complex </i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>"...Little late in the evening </i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>to be selling Girl Scout Cookies </i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>Isn't it, Banks?" </i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>he smiled</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>but it ended as a grimace</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>leaning on the door frame</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>looking fit to collapse</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>but still ever patient</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>or perhaps 'numb'</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>would be a better word</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>"...Can I come in?" </i></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">give the reins back to the Humans we Are</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>i waited only a moment longer</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>eyes darting out at the night</i></span><br />
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">then back to him </span></i><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>before i stepped back</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>pulling the door wide</i></span><br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>letting him in</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>then closing it</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>locking it</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>single then double</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>The Eyes were closing in again</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>crawling up my spine </i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>but that was not a detail for right Then</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>what was for Then</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>was cleaning off a chair</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>unspoken permission</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i> he nearly collapsed into the seat</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>it was a wonder he hadn't passed out yet</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>so much is always that way</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>Unspoken.</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">It's an ugly combination. The Monster and The Human. It doesn't mix for the exact same reasons that they do mix. It lets us Survive. It gets us Killed. It Tortures us. It Heals us. It makes us Fear that we're Losing Our Minds... and then turns right around and confirms what is Real and what is Not. Manifesting into one crushing Wave that Awakens as much as it Drowns. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">The Storm and The Lifeboat. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">The Blade and The Bandage.</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>i try to joke</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>like how others expect me to </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>but things come out</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>so much heavier these days</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>"Was there a party in the area I wasn't invited to?</i></span><br />
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">Where's Ronan?</span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">Last I checked</span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">you two were attached at the hip." </span></i><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;"> "...he's dead."</span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">flat and empty </span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">just another face in the crowd</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">gone</span></i></div>
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">To forget The Human and become only The Monster is to Die for sure.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">For The Human remembers why Life is worth Suffering through.</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>"...my apologies."</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>i gathered supplies</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>alcohol and towels</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>a knife laid over the stove element </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>all just routine</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>but a very important one </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>a second face would not be claimed</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>not that night</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>"...A mission?"</i></span><br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>he shook his head</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>watching me</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>as i gathered my things</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>gaze unfocused</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>"Minori." </i></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">To forget The Monster and become only The Human is to Die for sure.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">For The Monster can do what is necessary to secure Life.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">At all costs.</span><i><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span></i><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">"I tried to stop her of course,</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">but I hate to admit..."</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">he sunk in his seat</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">just a little</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">one hand on that leg</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">gripping it</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;"> "She was always </span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">better than me."</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">i sat in front</span></i></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>paid him nevermind</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>the pain inside would not kill him</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>twist </i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>and burn</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>and boil</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>and cut</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>but not kill</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>his leg however</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>was already pooling blood beneath the chair</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>"Still chasing </i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>the Happily Ever After, were you?" </i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">And yet...</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">in the end</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">no matter The Human</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">no matter The Monster</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">no matter what Balance </span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">We All Die.</span><i><br /></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>i tore his pants open wider</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>"I warned you, David. </i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>If life were fair, I'd be patching up him instead of you. </i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>But we both know it's far from fair</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>now, is it?"<br />blood on my hand</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>blood on my blades</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>looking for the bullet</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>following the trail</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>past the pressure on my temples</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>past the throb</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>a dull ache </i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>growing sharper</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>"Mm."</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>almost agreement</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>almost acceptance of fate </i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>even as his hands gripping the chair</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>near knuckled white</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>but not another trace of pain showed</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>past the mask built by blood </i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>"It isn't fair... but I don't see that as a reason</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>to stop creating.</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>I had him. For a moment in time</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>he was mine.</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>And nothing changes that."</i></span></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">And while death is inevitable...</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">many a time along the path of life...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">pieces of us die long before the Whole catches up.</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">my blades pinched metal</span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">pulling the invader from the flesh</span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">and tossed it aside to rattle its empty notes</span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">across the tiled floor</span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">sprinkles of crimson trailing after</span></i><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span><i><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">"...In that case,</span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">whatever you gave him over a handful of months</span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">I do hope it was worth his life, in the end."</span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">a pouring of alcohol filled the wound</span></i><br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">bubbling and foaming</span></i></div>
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">before dripping to the floor </span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">"For him."</span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;"> i pressed a towel to the wound</span></i><br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">then placed his hand over it</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">clear instructions </span></i></div>
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">"As well as you."</span></i><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">I remember... being on a Mission what feels like ages ago now. At the time, I was still staying at the Cafe with Joseph, Morningstar, David, and Ronan. Still recovering from my play time with the Plague Doctor. But there's no rest for the wicked, is there? Redlight ordered us to launch an assault against a Moriarty base. There was... a reason behind it. I don't quite... remember what. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">It seemed so important at the time, I recall...</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>just gone then back again</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>this time with a knife in hand</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>scorching hot</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>even just to hold</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>"Do you need something to bite down on?"</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>i gestured to the wall</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>reminding </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>"We do have neighbors here."</i></span><br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>he shook his head </i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>"I can be quiet. </i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>Been through worse." </i></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Moriarty was such a looming threat at the time.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Then again, so was our boss.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">So when Redlight ordered us to move. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">We did.</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>i didn't let the moment carry</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>as anticipation only worsens the pain</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>pressing the blade down against </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>the bleeding wound</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>a sizzling hiss rising into the air</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>much like the stink</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>of burning flesh </i></span><br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>he closed his eyes tight</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>knuckles bare white on the chair </i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>voicing only a few low grunts</i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>against that pain</i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>complete trust towards</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>trust only learning</i></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">I remember the sharp, repeated cracks of exchanged gunfire.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">I remember shouting. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">And I remember... a monsterous noise.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">A trumendous shift.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">And the floorboards bucking beneath our feet. </span><br />
<br />
<i><br /></i>
<i><br /></i>
<i>when the wound was closed</i><br />
<i>and the blood finally stopped</i><br />
<i>i tossed the blade</i><br />
<i>clattering into the sink across the room</i><br />
<i>torturing my skull</i><br />
<i>instant regret</i><br />
<i>as i flinched</i><br />
<i>head pounding </i><br />
<i>vision flashing to </i><br />
<i>white</i><br />
<i>and red </i><br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>"...Before I forget,"</i><br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>through the fog </i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>i reached for my other supplies</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>waiting beside my chair</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>and numbly took a jar</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>unlabelled but full</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>of think yellow ooze</i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>"I wanted</i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>to give you something."</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>slathering it over the fresh burn</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">The sudden scream of breaking wood tore all around us until there seemed to be no noise at all. A total void of air and space where sound itself was lost. And then I was falling. The light of the world pulling away as if I was lost in a dream... </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">I don't remember impact.</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>he held out his hand</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>the gesture trembling ever so slight</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>exhaustion</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>blood loss </i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>though he tried to hold </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>a strong front</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>it was clear to the keen</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>that his condition was getting the better of him</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i> his palm showcasing its own gash</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>to match his leg </i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>bleeding down heavy</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>for something so minor</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>"...Something else to patch up?"</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>the bandages came next</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>first a pad</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>then the wrap</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>"You shouldn't have.</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>It isn't even my birthday." </i></span> </div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">I just fell.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">And then I was waking up inside a cocoon of rubble. Coughing. Choking on the dust. My mind a fog and throbbing against my skull. A moistness under my hood making sure I was well aware of how close death had come again. My body sore and bruised. Scrapped and gashed. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">But in one functional piece.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>"The blood, Sam."</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i> those eyes caught mine</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>burdened deep </i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>holding for the barest of seconds</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>"I thought you might... </i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>be able to use it."</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>my mind</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>splintered and thobbing</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>caught his meaning </i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>gears grinding</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>before turning over</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>i didn't ask any more</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>simply rushed to get an empty jar</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>anything to give</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>to hold</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>and gather</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>that which has been claimed</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>to nullify powers</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>of the supernatural sort</i></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">I tried to reach for The Path. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Tried to find its strings to pull myself out... but the shift in energy brought a strain that the rubble couldn't take. As a warning, I heard a groan. Then a snap. Dust raining down. And then pebbles. Rocks. Beams. Everything closing in...</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">I barely rolled out of the way in time.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Dust kicking up once again.</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>powers like Valtiel's </i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>"...Thank you, David."</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"> <i>a slow nod</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>"You're welcome, Sam." </i></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>i wrapped his leg</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>taking care with it</i></span><br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>as he bled his hand</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>into the jar i'd given him</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>his eyes turning heavy</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>as the minutes passed between us</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>threatening to close </i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
</div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i> </i></span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">I was trapped <span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: inherit;">("...Well, that might have hurt a little.")<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">, but not as alone as I'd thought at first. A deep chuckle greeted me even before the dust settled. The sound snapping my head around to see none other than David Banks</span></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"> ("Yeah, probably. You always were quick on your feet though."<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">)</span></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">on the other side of that dust cloud.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>i finished my work</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>quick as i could manage</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>taking the jar away from him</i></span><br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>before it could slip from his</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>loosening grip</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>he barely seemed to notice</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>barely responded</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>to anything i did</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>not even</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>when i placed two fingers</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>against his neck</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>feeling for a pulse</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>and finding it weak</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">He seemed no more worse for the wear than I was</span><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"> </span><span style="font-family: inherit;">("...And what about you? In one piece or three? Please say three. I could use some good news about now.")</span><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span> at first. Leaning back against some rubble with a cigarette trailing smoke between his lips. Passing a smirk to me, of which I </span><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">didn't retur</span></span></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">n</span></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">.</span></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">His leg</span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"> ("One. Although a stationary piece.") </span><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">trapped beneath some fallen rubble.</span></span></span></span> <span style="font-family: inherit;">("Hurts like crazy. Not that I'd be going far anyway. Looks like we're stuck here. You must be thrilled.")</span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Out of us all... it would have to be Banks I'd get trapped </span></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: inherit;">("...Ecstatic, Banks. Absolutely ecstatic.") </span><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">with, wouldn't it?<span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>i left him once more</i><br />
<i>and dug into some things i hadn't</i><br />
<i>wanted to use </i><br />
<i>pulling out a vile of clear liquid</i><br />
<i>and a needle</i><br />
<i>draining the former into the latter</i><br />
<i>then returning again</i><br />
<i>sitting down</i><br />
<i>turning his arm</i><br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>and finding a vein</i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>slipping the point of steel in</i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>practiced and precise</i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>it was in him before he even stirred enough</i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>to flinch from the pinch</i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">My eye went from his leg, to his eyes, and then back again. Before I pulled my spare gun from my leg. Small little thing. Two shots. But a nice surprise in an emergency. I checked it once.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">And then I aimed it between his eyes. </span><br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>before yanking his arm back completely </i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>a glare focused in his eyes</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>when he rose them back to me</i><i> </i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>"What did you just give me...?"</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>i glared straight back at him</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>grabbing his other arm</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>and throwing a quick bandage</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>around the bleeding wound </i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>"A date rape drug, Banks.</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>Couldn't resist.</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>So sorry.</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>Hope you don't mind."</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">The moment hung.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">And then I turned the gun. Emptying the two bullets for him to see. Then reloading them before pocketing the piece. He didn't say a word. Neither did I. But I knew the message got across loud and clear.(</span><span style="font-family: inherit;">"I'll
lift.") <span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">I was not above killing him</span> ("...Alright.") <span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">if he gave me</span></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"> <span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">a reason to. </span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>i left him in favor of the kitchen sink</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>washing the blood from my hands</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>my headache so much worse</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>splitting my skull</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>my gut twisting</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>threatening to heave</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>"It's a...</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>little mixture Dimme used to put together.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>Way back when.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>I still use it.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>It'll give your system the boost</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>it needs right now."</i></span><br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>his eyes were pulling down again </i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>"...If I had the effort,</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>I would be</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>really angry at you right now."</i></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i> </i></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">I had to try to get him free. Not that I wanted to. But I hadn't a choice. If I left his leg as it was</span></span></span> ("Just know, Banks, if this triggers the rest of the cave in... that
I can't think of another person I'd rather drag to Hell with me than
you.")</span> <span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">and the rubble shifted, then </span></span></span></span>he could lose it. Adm</span></span><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">ittedly, it would be funny at first. But not so much when answering
to Redlight later. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Not to mention Jo or Venny.</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><i>"I don't do drugs."</i></i></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>"...So, you're a murderer and a rapist,</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>and you have a special love for flaying,</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>but taking any form of drug is crossing a sacred line, is it?</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>You're a shining example for the rest of us, Banks.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>Truly, you are."</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>i leaned on the sink for a time</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>after i'd cleaned up</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>starting to feel a little like</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>i could breathe again</i></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">I counted to three and gave a heave... and his leg came out without anything else even taking notice</span></span></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"> ("Sorry, mate. It's not going to be that easy.")<i>. </i></span><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">There wasn't even a sprinkle of dust to warn </span></span></span><span style="font-family: inherit;">("...Then you can expect my bill in the mail.") </span><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">of tinkering with our little cocoon.</span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>"You can be angry at me in the morning. </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>For now, I have a major headache </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>and you're not making it any better."</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>after a moment or two more</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>i felt a bit better than i had</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>deciding to get done</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>what needed to be</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>before i was swept away again</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>finding blankets</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>and a spare pillow</i></span><br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>setting up the couch </i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>he watched me gather things</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>watched me</i></span><br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>clean away my mess only </i></span></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>to make some room for where he'd be spending the night</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>yet another thing</i></span><br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>unspoken </i></span></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>"...Thank you."</i></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">There </span>("... Do you realize this is the second time a building has come down on us? I take it as a Sign.")<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">was nothing to do<span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: inherit;">("A sign for what? To hire a contractor?") <span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">but wait.</span></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;">"Don't thank me."</span></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;">i came over for the last time</span></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;">placing a light touch under his arm</span></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;">"Come on.</span></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;">On your feet."</span></i></span><br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;">silently </span></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;">he took a hold on my arm in turn</span></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;">and a flash hit me</span></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;">of pure White</span></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;">White</span></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;">stained </span></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;">RED</span></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;">blood</span></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;">RED </span></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;">folding in</span></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;">black</span></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;">shattering</span></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;">into</span></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;">fog</span></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;">rain</span></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;">wind</span></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;">ripping</span></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;">tearing</span></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;">a rush of movement </span></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;">and behind it</span></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;">i saw a necklace </span></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;">of purple bruises around a pale neck</span></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;">and then it was gone</span></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;">and in that instant</span></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;">i felt more likely to fall down</span></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;">than pull David up </span></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">We spoke about</span></span> <span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">everything. Whether we both wanted to</span> ("A Sign for Us to Stay. Away. From each other. Lest death come that much quicker for one or both.") <span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">or not</span><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"> </span>("...Or perhaps it means you're stuck with me.")<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">. I helped him stay focused</span></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"> ("...You're claustrophobic?") </span><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">while he helped... rather, TRIED to help me</span></span></span> ("Do Not. Touch Me. Banks. Never. Touch Me. Is that clear enough for you?") <span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">with a head wound I'd gained during the fall </span>("...Run from me all you can, but I'll still be there. And I realize I haven't gone about it well, but I like you. Say what you have to. Do what you have to. We need to bury this.") <span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">but I wouldn't let him. </span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Though I don't think any would blame me.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i> </i> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;">but i found my grip before</span></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;">the floor could come rushing up </span></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;">swallowing hard</span></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;">as i struggled</span></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;">to bring the room back into focus</span></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;">feeling that sickening weight</span></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;">that taste</span></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;">on the back of my throat</span></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;">my skull splitting</span></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;">as the world swayed</span></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;">and i felt</span></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;">like a ghost under my skin</span></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;">trying to be</span></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;">as gentle as i could as i</span></i></span><br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;">supported his weight</span></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;">allowing him to</span></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;">lean on me</span></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;">as we managed our way</span></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;">over to the couch</span></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;">one step</span></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;">just one</span></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;">step </span></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;">at </span></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;">a</span></i></span><br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;">time </span></i></span></div>
</div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span></i> </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Though we did find </span><span style="font-family: inherit;">("I know how the Game works, Banks. I know I started this. The kidnapping. The Cult Town. It was just business. But it /was/ me who made the first move. After the Cafe... call my attitude what you will, but you brought her back. Dimme. It was the same thing all over again. Same, but different, but still the same. Honestly, I'd like to see how well you'd be able to shake off being thrown back under Dubois for even a brief moment.") </span><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">an understanding, of sorts.</span><span style="font-family: inherit;"> ("I'm sorry. All I wanted was to even the score. You scared me to death when you took Ronan.") </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #444444;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">allies</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">i helped him </span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">lie down</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">pulled the covers </span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">over him</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">and then immediately sunk</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">into a chair nearby</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">holding my face in my hands</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">feeling as if</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">each pulse</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">would crack my skull</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">and leave the pieces on my open palms</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">he twisted where i'd laid him</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">looking at me</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">alarm in his eyes for the</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">first time</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">"Are you alright?" </span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #444444;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #444444;"> we were supposed to be </span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Just a patch job to mend the holes</span></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"> ("We're even. But that does not make us friends.")<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">in the bridge between us</span></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"> ("...I
want to know you better, Sam. I want the chance to like and be liked
back. Trust would be even better, but I'm smart enough to know the last
two won't happen. The first will work.") </span><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">for there were already too many enemies on the field <span style="font-family: inherit;"></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: inherit;">("...I can offer a truce. Tentative allies. Nothing more.") </span><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">and not nearly enough allies</span></span></span></span></span></span></span> </span><span style="font-family: inherit;">("I'll take what I can get.").</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #444444;">allies</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">a flutter of wings</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">had Kali's talons settling onto my shoulder</span></i></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>a soft call in my ear</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>as i nodded</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>one hand lifting to stroke</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>those ebony feathers</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>"I'm fine. </i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>Just... think I'm coming down with something. </i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>Haven't exactly been </i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>looking after myself lately, you could say. </i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>Had other things that needed to be </i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>focused on..."</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>he sunk back</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>settling in</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>finding what scarce comfort</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>simple fabric can bring</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>"Look at the two of us.</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>We used to be something."</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>"...Perhaps only Fools." </i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #444444;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #444444;"> you were right here David</span></span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">By the time Morningstar and Joseph dug</span> ("...How old were you?") <span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">us out... we'd found</span> ("...When it began? Or when it ended?") <span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">our common ground again</span> ("...Both.").<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"> The same common ground</span> ("Ten. And eighteen.") <span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">we'd had at the Cult Town. </span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #444444;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #444444;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #444444;">you were right here that night</span></span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>i slowly forced myself up</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>Kali stirring</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>but staying with me</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>"Get some rest.</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>You'll be leaving in the morning."</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>he managed a chuckle</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>that made me pause</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>"Oh, you have no idea how true that sentence is."</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #444444;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"> right here</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #444444;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Altered,</span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"> ("I have no pity for you, Banks. You were only a Victim for as long as you stood head and shoulders above Dubois. The instant you used his own tools against him - torture and rape - and then used those tools on others still... then you became his Kin. Not his Victim. The same rule applies to myself and Dimme. With her torture of me. And mine of her. As well as others. I'm not a Victim. We're just two Villains. Born from Villains. To give birth to the next generation of Villains.") </span><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">but the same, nevertheless</span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: inherit;">.</span><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"> </span><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #444444;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">why </span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>"...You're going to Run, aren't you?"</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>"...Haven't we always been?</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>In one way or another?"</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #444444;">why didn't you help me?</span><i><span style="color: #444444;"> </span></i></span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Perhaps, </span><span style="font-family: inherit;">("...You're the first person to understand that. Not even Ronan understood that...")</span><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"></span> when it all comes down to it... </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">we're all just skinning ourselves.</span><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><i> </i></span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
</div>
Nightscreamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08241679908254552393noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3626790529497436404.post-7284699484940337072013-01-10T22:13:00.000-08:002013-04-15T21:58:58.765-07:00Sticks And Stones.<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">It was November 28th.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">And I could see my breath.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">The night was cold, and it
had only just begun. Rain came down as a mist. There was warning that it might turn to ice rain or snow, but that far into the night, that hadn't been the case. The delicate sound of the tiny drops hitting down on stone and grass and leaves was nearly a comfort to my uneased mind as I stood waiting in that small
courtyard. A small clearing enclosed by a stone wall. Signatured with several trees who's canopy was nearly enough to block out the moon when it peeked through the clouds.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Earlier in the month, I had answer my cell, only to find the voice of Delirium greeting me. My Oathbreaker "friend". She wasted a bare few minutes asking questions that she knew I was not about to answer before getting to the actual point of her call.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">She spoke of a Meeting.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">They are a simple thing. A simple concept. Every so often, one is called amongst the lower-ranked in the assorted Cults - usually when there is something especially turbulent transpiring somewhere, somehow. The location is constantly changing from one Meeting to the next, and invitation is the only way to take part. It's a simple way of fixing problems and trading information without the Highers of the different Political Parties sticking their noses in. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Delirium cautioned as to whether or not I should attend, but she knew I had in the past. And <span style="font-family: inherit;">k</span>new that my interest in information might sway the scales when placed against the risk. There weren't bound to be many there who were going to be... all that happy to see me. In fact, it could get lethally ugly...</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><b>You don't get it, do you?</b></i></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><b>That would take the fun out of it. </b></i> </span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">And yet... I asked where and when. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br />"...November 28th. Giles Corey."<br /><br />And that, of course, was when she hung up. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">So, under the dull light of the full moon... that is exactly where I went.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Just one
out of twenty simple slabs of stone - benches, almost - that protrude out from the stone
wall enclosing the old memorial site. Each stone being engraved with a name. Their End. And the date. The site existing as a simple, small nod to those who were executed
during the Salem Witch Trials in 1692. Amongst the dead,
I found the marker for the man who was "pressed to death". Kali was perched upon my
shoulder as we both watched the light rain wash over the few words
carved in stone before us. On a whim, I slowly bent down and placed
my fingers lightly to the name. The two words that were his last becoming my own form of greeting on that drizzly night.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><i>"More weight, brother."</i></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Something shifted the air.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">I
shot to my feet at the same instance that Kali screamed and flew from
my shoulder. Disappearing into the night. Deserting me amongst the
endless sea of stone names as a crawling sensation rose over my skin and
threw a cold shiver down my spine. A presence enveloped me. Weighting me
in place when I slowly turned... and found a being all too familiar
interrupting the waves of gravestones. A tall, black suit and a face empty of expression. Arms long and bent. His entire Being like a distortion of reality as the rest of the world shrank
away. Bolting me in place. My throat constricting as He watched me.
Studied me.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">A voice drifted up into my mind. Reminding me to kneel.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">I could not.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">For another voice I didn't recognize hissed for me to Run.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Between the two, I only froze.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Terror
laced my thoughts as I found myself caught and held in that gaze. The
silence pounding deafeningly over the space as the chilling wind blew
stronger. His Whispers drifting across my hearing almost... hesitantly at first.
Quiet and broken. Until another voice joined it. And another and
another. Laying one over the other until it was not but a hive of
sounds. Twisting. Multiplying. Distorting...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Until a pain spiked through the center of my skull. Sharp. Fast. Ruthless. Splintering down my neck. Down my spine. Arms. Legs.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Cutting my very knees out from under me.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">I
collapsed. Hands catching hold of the stone wall to stop my fall. To
steady myself. To gain my feet back under me again after such a
split-second attack to my senses. My head throbbed and the world pulsed and spun
violently... </span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<b><i><span style="font-family: inherit;">You had your chance. </span></i></b><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><b><i>And now... I burn the heart. Right. Out. Of. You.</i></b> </span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">but, by the time I looked up again, He was gone.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">I barely had the chance to catch my breath before a voice called my attention. A voice so
light and airy pulling me awake from the cold dread that gripped me down
to my soul. A voice I knew all too well...</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><i>"Nightscream, your presence was requested </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><i>a quarter of an hour ago."</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><i>"My
most humble apologies for sleeping in, Requiem. Truly, the image of
Sloth itself could be crafted in my likeness. I must have slept for a
whole three minutes. What is it? If this is regarding Diamondback again,
I'll murder either him or you myself. Possibly both, for convenience
sake."</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><i>"Oathbreakers
stalk the streets this night. You are to eradicate their sickly
presence within my town before their mockery of God's plan stains my
Holy Church. Go."</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><i>"...Oath...?
What in Father's name are Oathbreakers doing all the way out here?
Their nearest settlement is... the Northern region of Alabama, isn't
it?"</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><i>"The diseased imps follow an Outcast of their own blood."</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><i>"...Oh, sweetheart, what manner of lost puppy have you taken in this time?"</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Meghan Fisher.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Also known as Delirium.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">The
tiny little thing of a woman was skipping from one name slab to the
next as if they were not but stepping stones over a pond. Her white labcoat
flapping in the breeze as she held her arms wide on either side of her.
From her beaming mouth bubbled detailed explanations of what organs
would have "popped" first when Giles was "squished like a bug" as she
neared with every hop forward. Her Oathbreaker mask dangling around her
neck, out of the way, and a plushie dangling from one hand. The bizarre
looking toy grinning </span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">d</span>o we i to </span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">at me even as it swung around by its arm. A little
grim reaper. A toy which I had a very hard time deciding... whether it
was somewhat cute... or if I needed a Priest and some holy water.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">When she stood directly beside me on the stone for Giles Corey, she still wasn't at eye height.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">She
peered up at me. Wide eyes holding a wondrous expression that one would
only expect to see on a young child, not a woman nearing thirty. But,
as though oblivious to the physical years that were supposed to have
aged and matured her, she hugged that creepily-cute toy close to her
chest. Blonde pigtails bobbling on either side of her head with every
movement and breeze.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">She commented I looked pale with
ALMOST a trace of worry in her tone. Asking if I was feeling alright as
she reached to touch my forehead...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">And I blocked her
reach with the back of my gauntlet. Staring her down from behind my
mask. Letting her know full well... that she wasn't fooling me even the
slightest. Her own expression nearly <i>cooled</i> as she met mine, but a
second later she was grinning again. Turning her hand and fingers in
silent admission to let me see the small, circular, metal point
surgically implanted into the tip of her middle finger. A dot that, no
doubt, was tainted with some manner of virus or another.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">She
giggled. Admitting that I caught her as if I'd walked into the room
while she had her hand in the cookie jar. A sly, almost pouting, look to
her face as she fidgeted with her jacket. Tugging on it as she went on
about how I didn't have to use such a scary face. That it was just a
little joke between friends.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">So I asked what she had "jokingly" tried to lace me with.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Delirium
jumped up onto the stone wall that separated us from the graveyard.
Finally gaining some height over me while doing a little spin on the
toes of her boots. Red skirt flapping just like her coat in the wind. Saying
it was nothing. Just a joke. A simple cold. Nothing more. Then she
looked down at the plushie in her arms. Asking "George" to back her up.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">The creepy toy grinning </span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">DO WE I TO </span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">at me did not help her case in the slightest. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">After
that initial headache, she lead the way to where the Meeting was taking
place. It wasn't far, but it gave us enough time to discuss recent test
results a little. All part of our arrangement. Proposed by her not long
after the Church burnt to the ground. Basically, I take my own blood
samples and such and pass them along to her. She, being an Oathbreaker, was obviously rather fascinated with the idea of someone outrunning the
Plague Doctor, so studies whatever results come up. As a result, she
has a front row seat to any problems that appear, and I have someone
monitoring my condition.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">That being said... I can throw her farther than I trust her.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Her
head isn't wanted by her own kin for nothing. I have seen what she is
capable of... and I'm not denying that involving myself was, perhaps,
stupid from the very start... but I considered it the lesser of two
evils. I wanted to make sure I would know if The Beak came back for me.
So far, I seem to be in the clear.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Which, in itself, I find highly unnerving.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Nevertheless, I followed along like she wanted me to. Explaining that she hadn't wanted her "Special Proxy Friend" to
go in alone as she hopped from one gravestone to the next, as if the
ground itself was made of lava. Which it might very well have been in
her mind. When we finally came to the entrance (who doesn't have a handy
dandy underground chamber in their home town?) you could tell that it
had been there for a<i> long</i> time. The air held that must of age
that only decades upon decades give birth to. The tunnel leading
single-file all the way down to the labyrinth of a pit below. Tunnels.
Doors. Dead Ends. All covered in thick moss and spider webs. All feeling
as though they were set to close in around us at any point in time...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">I've
been to plenty of other Meetings in other areas, and each had their own
feel. Usually a faint hint of whichever Cult had made them still
lingered in the halls. As if their purpose - the very spirits of those
who once used them as their own places of work and worship - were still
very much active. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">This one felt like nothing I'd ever been in before.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Even the air itself felt constricted.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Like
so many other locations, I observed many scratches and marks on the
walls as I went along. Most partly cover by dirt and moss and webs, but
others were still revealed enough to catch my attention.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">One
such scratching was in Latin. My Latin isn't the best, but the best
translation I could give for it was: "Free Her; Free Us."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">As
I scanned this leftover or that from the past occupants, Delirium
seemed to entertain herself by playing "don't step on the crack, or
you'll break your mother's back" with the interlocked stone floor. Chanting a
little, senseless rhyme to herself as she went along ahead of me. At
least, she did. Until she jumped up and slammed both feet down on the
final crack of the passageway. Turning back to me as she gestured out to
the chamber which spread around us, as if it was some grand reveal.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">The
ceiling was unexpectedly low. The chamber itself feeling just as cramped
and set to close in as the passageway, even though, technically, it
should have been more than large enough to host our crowd and more.
Chains and ropes hung like decorations. Some had snapped and fallen to
rest on the floor with the years of dust and cracked rock, but the
majority still hung exactly as they were intended. Rising from where
they were fastened to the walls to swoop up to the very center of the
ceiling. Twisting and wrapping around a carved figure which looked more
like a human cocoon than a woman. Arms and legs snared by shackles,
knots, locks, and hooks. Those very same chains and ropes wrapped down her body
to flood down the center column of the chamber. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><i>"Welcome to the only known shrine in the whole wide world of The Imprisoned, Screamy!"</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><i>"...The Fear of Confinement."</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><i>"Yep! The one and only!"</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Now
that came as a surprise. The last time I'd heard of The Imprisoned, it
was during that whole Cult Town mess back with the Oathbreakers. We
had a Scribe amongst us. A Blind Man Follower. He got ushered into the
wrong place at the wrong time, and preferred the company of our Kin
rather than that of the Mad Doctors. The lot of us (David included) </span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">David...? Yes, David had found me. Not that... long ago...</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">why?</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">w<span style="font-family: inherit;">hat for...?</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">shot.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">he'd been... </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">sh</span>ot... </span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">were
hunkered down for another night. A few stories were passed around, and
some simple mind... I forget who it was... mentioned feeling trapped.
Like we'd come here to settle the matter, and had only volunteered to be
mice in a maze for a bunch of freaks in labcoats.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">The
Scribe actually smiled. And spoke a warning. A warning to never let
such things burden us too greatly. Lest we risk drawing HER attention.
He spoke of a Fear locked away in their own Realm. A
creature in the shape of a Woman; who dragged chains and ropes as She roams. Appearing nearly as a ghost. Always on the
other side of a door, or gate, or window. Appearance broken and faint...
but still bound and shackled. Gagged and blindfolded... except, the
blindfold had slipped down over time. Revealing one sickly eye. The Scribe going on to say how it's said
that that slip is the only reason She can still Reach out from Her
Realm...</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">She
recruits what are referred to as Burdens. Both Target and Servant,
wrapped up in one convenient package. Those who, like Her, are trapped.
Mind. Body. Or Soul. Whispering a promise of Freeing them from their
personal prisons... so long as they Free Her first. And so begins the
obsession. An obsession with Freeing their Damsel, so to speak. An
obsession that eventually comes to imprint them with the same bruises
and welts and injuries that their Lady has gained from Her ropes and
chains and hooks. The Scribe spoke of how She... liked to steal targets
from other Fears most of all. Tugging them away from those who'd already
claimed them. Smiling as he repeated his warning... to not let thoughts
of prisons linger in our minds too long. That the Oathbreakers could
become the very least of our concerns...</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Then, several months later... I was standing in Her Shrine with an Oathbreaker for an ally.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Funny how the world comes around, hm?</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">The
chamber was already crowded with figures as Delirium and I slipped
amongst them. Servants of all branches gathered under a single roof. I
felt the pull of my kin. Other Proxies. I noticed Maenads and Scarlet
Marked. Nests and Dolls. Snake Servants and Chillers. Drones and
Nameless...</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">And Oathbreakers, of course.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Malfatto
was there. The very same Malfatto who treated me with such honor and
respect during the climax of that whole Cult Town fiasco. He met me
across the floor, addressing me in a tone calm and cooled from behind
his leather mask. I gave my best smile. Expressing surprise that he was
able to recognize me without the garb of his late Leader, Josef Bohr.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">I heard the smile in his tone when he answered... by telling me that everyone and anyone could recognize me by now.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">After all, I was one of the central figures in causing the entire Proxy Organization to implode.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">He
clapped. As though applauding me. The mocking sound seeming a lot louder than it should have. Drawing
the attention of most others in the room onto Malfatto himself, and
myself by extension. He addressed the crowd. Suggesting they all give a
warm welcome towards me, if only to appreciate my courage... or, rather,
my stupidity for actually daring to show myself there. In this
turbulent time when ALL Cults are being shaken from their very supports.
All being threatened by the same invisible force who's very existence
pollutes the air with ill omens...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">My "Leader" and "Master", Redlight.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">He spoke of how this "fiend" threatened all of them. That he managed to undo the entire Proxy Organization. The unquestionable powerhouse of ANY of the Cults. And how?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">By getting a "Cafe Waitress" to dig up the history of a High School Teacher.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">He explained for the crowd what had happened. Detailing each turn in events. Explaining how, in panic of what he had done, the Proxy known as Sherlock turned to the Highers for help.</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">no. no that's wrong. </span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Just like Redlight knew he would.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">And,
the Highers, not thinking Redlight was of much concern to them in
whole, decided to use the information for a different matter. To hunt down this Teacher and arrest them. To make an example out of their precious "Rebel
without a Cause" for every other Agent out there.</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">NO</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">no they...</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">it wasn't that. it wasn't...</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">it... </span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Just like Redlight knew they would.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">And
so, with my head on the Wanted List, those who were in alliances with me -
specifically close alliances - would be forced to pick a side. Of
course, The Highers didn't think for a second that any of them would
choose me over them... but there was one young man who would. And did. A
young man who hauled his entire team along on the quest. A young man
who was, indeed, Redlight's own creation... but who anyone could see had his true loyalty only in
me. Driven by the memories and experiences from the life he was so
desperate to believe was his own. The infamous Morningstar. Choosing to leave the Organization along with his company... only to take to aiming all his chaos and mayhem right back at
them.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Just like Redlight knew he would. And had probably created him for.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Of
course, the Highers fought back. Sending forces to deal with such a tiny,
secondary rebellious force. Aiming to stomp them out quickly and
efficiently. Critically injuring several of the group. Actions which
drew the notice... of the Valtiels. As both of these so called "Rebel
Targets" were loyal Servants of the Slender God, it became oh so
perfectly clear to Them... that the Highers believed that that loyalty should
exist only towards themselves. And, therefore, taking the
Self-Proclaimed "Angels" off the sidelines... and into play. Sweeping
the entire Organization off its feet in a matter of days.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Just like Redlight knew They would.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Malfatto concluded for everyone... that it had been The
Devil that had desired to annihilate the Organization, and replace it with
himself. And he had done just that, just by giving a little tap on ONE
Domino:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Joseph. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">But, of course,
Malfatto continued on, speaking of how the Dominos were still falling.
That if this egotistical maniac went along his course, all other Cults
could be swept away just as cleanly. That it was not by accident that
the Valtiels were involved... and how they (the Cultists at the Meeting)
had every reason to believe that these Elemental Figures would be the
next Domino to fall. Just another stepping stone in Redlight's quest for
power.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">And that would be when Malfatto turned back to me. Speaking of how
curious it was... that I had announced my own vendetta against a
Valtiel at this time. The Amber Eyed one. The one who, if anyone knew
anything about energy could hazard a guess, had some connection to The
Devil, judging by the reflection of the Soul in their eyes.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">He questioned... if my little quest to take out this particular demi-god... was really about my son.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Or if I had a more... Contracted reason behind it.</span><br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">I
listened. Letting him have his monologue, before speaking up. Admitting
to having allied myself with The Devil, but reminding that I had had
little choice in the matter. He had saved my life, and so it was
indebted to him. So, while I would not deny being a "Redlight Loyalist",
it was hardly fair to accuse me of treason or some such when it was the
only rope being offered at the time. One must do what they have to in
order to survive, after all...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">I told him... how I was well aware
of the pattern. How everything seemed to be falling in Redlight's favor,
for whatever means he had for it. However, I hadn't been in contact
with The Devil since this whole mess began with Joseph. What is more, he
only ever gave orders by text after I had left the Cafe with
Morningstar. That I never once saw him in person after that. And then I hadn't heard
from him at all.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">I explained what Valtiel told me. That
Redlight was dead. That "those who do what Redlight did, don't survive
to talk about it." </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">The murmur that went through the crowd told me that those present had the same doubts I did.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">And I agreed with them.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">I told them that I highly doubted Redlight really was dead. That my gut told me otherwise. And that I would be happy to share any and all knowledge that I did have. That I was willing to detail what our discussions had been. What bits and pieces he had told me about of his view of the world and where he wanted it to head. Where the mistakes were. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">I
told them that I was only there as a Proxy. That I wanted answers just as much as they did.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">And I was accused of being a liar. A spy. A traitor. Any of the above and more. We argued and discussed. One figure after another voicing their own opinions on what was going on and what needed to be addressed. One Maenad - tall and muscled like something out of a Greek Myth - suggested that maybe I'd speak with a more truthful tongue if they put me under a bit of "pressure" to clear my thoughts. As one would expect, the only appropriate response I could think of for that little idea bubble was to grin at him with two words on my lips: More weight. Of course, he thought I was mocking him - which I more or less was - and he started to come over to me. Only to get interrupted on the way by the pint-sized Delirium with her white leather mask on. Red, goggle-like eyes staring WAY up. That airy, giggly voice of hers suggesting he take a breath, lest he go for a Time Out.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">He went for a Time Out.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">A rather permanent one which had him in a seizure on the floor. Convulsing so hard he snapped his spine even while foam came from his mouth and his eyes turned red with hemorrhaging blood vessels. Dripping down his cheeks like tears.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">I was very glad at that point that I hadn't let that little, circular dot touch me. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">She stepped over his jerking body as she trotted up to me. Still hugging that toy to her chest. Asking how glad I was that she had my back even as she rocked back and forth on her heels. Of course, she didn't even wait for an answer before those red-goggle eyes of her mask were directed to Malfatto nearby. The tension in the air nearly doubling in that split second as she passed a smooth greeting to him. Voice nearly a purr.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">He reminded her with a sharp tongue and tight fists... that violence was against the Code at a Meeting.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">And<i> she</i> reminded <i>him </i>that the Code allowed for self-defense. And the Maenad HAD tried to shove her aside. Going on to say that she HAD been playing nice. Mentioning that she COULD have used "George's Secret Weapon." Taking a syringe from out of the back of the stuffed toy as though to prove her point. Asking Malfatto if he wanted to try it out for himself.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">That it "might be fun!"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Everyone seemed to let the topic drop rather wordlessly.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">That was when he spoke up. A Nest. An older man with striking black hair streaked with gray and worn and weathered features. Scars torn across his face and being. A suit as worn and torn as my own garb fashioning him as dignified. A man of knowledge. A man of... purpose... even if, perhaps, he had lost it by then.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">He mocked the fear that laid in the hearts of those around him.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Word by word came slow, but heavy. Each one chosen carefully and dangerously before it fell from his tongue. Though at first he'd simply been just another face in the crowd, when he spoke, he seemed to nearly command the attention of everyone. A quiet confidence. A quiet understanding. A quiet... brutality, that no one doubted he possessed.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">He spoke of Redlight... as not but a toy. A puppet. A child on a tantrum. Reminding the crowd that, though Malfatto's Domino Story was amusing, it still summed up to the simple fact... that Red himself had done nothing. And would continue to do nothing.</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">"After all, one can only be what they are. No more."</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">A CRACK split the air. A snap of sound which stilled all tongues...</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">and drove attention right back onto myself.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">My gauntlet throbbing... from how I had slammed it down upon a table nearby.</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">I couldn't... recall why I'd got so mad.</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">I couldn't... understand why I'd... nearly broken my own hand with the force.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">I couldn't explain it.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Despite the stares of the room silently... questioning.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">silently demanding</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">I left before any could get in my way.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">but... one did get in the way, didn't they?</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">a black hoodie nearly... shadowing over a mask. a white mask with a painted-on red smile. green hair. that... purple strip going downwards on the left
side. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">he stepped in front of me while others pulled back. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I nearly... bumped into him...</span><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">that was... reeal.... wasnt it?</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">I just knew I had to get out of there. I had... to get some air. I jogged down the length of the passage and back up the stairs. My head pounded so bad that the echo of my own steps was near torturous. The cold night air greeted me as a blessing. But I didn't stop. I didn't stop until I slipped and fell down to my hands and knees amongst the gravestones. Burning lungs replacing the ache of my hand...</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">I couldn't understand it.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">something... fell from my pocket. onto the grass. i remember... taking it. looking at it. something that filled my very core with ddread. something that made me... look back behind me... </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">and see that mask again.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">sitting up in the branch of a tree</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">legs dangling</span></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">The Jester waved at me.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span> </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">I just kept Running.</span></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
Nightscreamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08241679908254552393noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3626790529497436404.post-40155943679157833832013-01-02T03:05:00.000-08:002013-04-15T20:58:31.134-07:00nightmare...?<br />
<br />
muffled words<br />
<br />
<br />
and shadows of gestures<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
amongst black and white and gray<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
splinters of red </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<br />
across smeared<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
glass<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
crac<br />
king<br />
<br />
<br />
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br<br />
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ki<br />
ng <br />
<br />
<br />
s<br />
h <br />
a <br />
t<br />
t<br />
e <br />
r <br />
i<br />
n<br />
<br />
g <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
b u r n s <br />
<br />
<br />
that<br />
start <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
c o l d<br />
<br />
<br />
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G<br />
N<br />
I <br />
T<br />
H<br />
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N<br />
G<br />
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<br />
<br />
s p l i t t i n g<br />
u<br />
p<br />
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<br />
b r <br />
u n n<br />
i g<br />
<br />
E<br />
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x<br />
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P<br />
<br />
l<br />
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<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>S C R E A M I N G </b></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
my own</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
s <br />
w h <br />
e t B<br />
at i<br />
mixed w L <br />
<br />
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D <br />
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C E<br />
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A L C<br />
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B-O-U-N-D O<br />
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G U<br />
- -<br />
H - E - L - P - L - E - S - S<br />
- -<br />
T D<br />
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H N M<br />
- - -<br />
B - R - E - A - T - H - E<br />
-<br />
L H<br />
- -<br />
P - L - E - A - S - E<br />
<br />
-<br />
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L<br />
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P <br />
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<br />
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<i>Sam</i><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<i>can </i><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<i> you </i><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<i> hear me?</i><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
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<br />
<br />
i f e e l<br />
m y s e l f<br />
n o d <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<i>good</i><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<i> do you know</i><br />
<i> </i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i><br /></i>
<i><br /></i>
<i><br /></i>
<i><br /></i>
<i> where</i><br />
<br />
<i> </i><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<i><br /></i>
<i> you </i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i><br /></i>
<i><br /></i>
<i><br /></i>
<i> </i><br />
<br />
<i> are?</i><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
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no<br />
p<br />
t e l l <br />
e<br />
a<br />
s<br />
m e <br />
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b u t<br />
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n o d<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
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<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>good </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<i><br /></i>
<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i> do you </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<br />
<i>know</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i><br /></i>
<i><br /></i>
<i><br /></i>
<i><br /></i>
<i><br /></i>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>who</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>I </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>Am?</i></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
i nod</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
bu t </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
i</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
do</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
nt</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
i </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
D <br />
O <br />
N <br />
T </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
K</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
N</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
O</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
W</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
help</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
me</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
p l e a s e</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
h e l p</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
m e </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
i</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
t</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>B U R N S</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>I know</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i> Sam</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>But I Can't Help You.</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> I</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i> C</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i> O</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i> U</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i> L</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i> D</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i> N </i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i> T P </i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i> L M</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i> E Y</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i> H </i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i> O </i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i> N</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i> W</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>S - O - N </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
dont</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
leave</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
please </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i> I'm </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>Sorry</i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
no<i></i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>I have no choice</i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
n</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
o</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
p</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
l</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
e</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
a</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
s</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
e<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>We will do what we must.</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #444444;"><b>S C R E A M I N G </b></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
Nightscreamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08241679908254552393noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3626790529497436404.post-38590627630307209192012-12-31T23:51:00.000-08:002018-05-26T09:01:17.244-07:00<div style="text-align: right;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
"...I'm sorry that I keep showing up like this. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I really am. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I know how much you want to just...</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
close the door on the whole thing. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I know how wrong it is. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I just..."</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
"No apologies are needed, Sam,<br />
you know that. </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
After all, marked men will always have difficulties </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
walking away from the past.</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
I can hardly blame you, </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
because it's not like </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
I'm much different. <br />
Sit with me, Sam. <br />
You're going to wear a hole <br />
right through the floor <br />
if you don't stop pacing." </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
"...Thank you, my friend. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
So much has been happening lately. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I've been... chasing so many leads.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Any lead. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Trying to find Valtiel. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Looking for any hint of the bastard </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
in anything... </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
but the further I go, the more lost I feel I become. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Nothing connects.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
It's like... walking through a fog. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Nothing holds any depth, I don't...</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I don't understand it. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I don't understand... any of it. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
It's a fog.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
It's all just... </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
a fog."<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
"Congratulations, Sam.</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
You've somehow <span style="font-family: inherit;">made your way down</span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"> another rabbit hole. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"> Were the first two not enough for you? </span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">It's difficult to find a thing like that in the first place, </span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">but now </span>it doesn't even want to be found. </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
I have to wonder... </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
are you simply chasing shadows, Sam? </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
Then again, aren't we all? </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
It's not like you're in any </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
different a situation than the rest of us... </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
Ever since everything collapsed in on itself, </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
things have just gotten worse. </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
Almost makes you </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
miss the leash, eh...?" </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
"For the record, I <i>tripped</i> down </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
this particular rabbit hole.<br />
...And yes, I suppose I do miss it. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
In a way.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I never liked the Organization, but... </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I never wished for it to break apart like this. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Not completely. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Sure, I always wanted to roll </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
some of the Highers heads across the floor... </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
but the System had a purpose. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
A needed purpose."</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
"Yes, it did.<br />
Things have turned out quite sour,<br />
haven't they?" </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
"...How are you</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
holding up?"</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
"Well enough.</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
Don't you start wasting energy </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
worrying about me. </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
You're stretched thin enough as it is."<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
"....Do you need anything?</div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I could do a supply run for you</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
if you need it.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
You really shouldn't </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
be here anymore, my friend.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
It's not safe.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
You need to bury yourself."</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
"I'm as buried as I need to be, Sam<br />
Besides, if I vanished from the <br />
face of the earth, <br />
I'd miss out on these little chats of ours."<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
"...You have me torn, my friend.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Lately, it's as though the only time<br />
my mind stops screaming and the world calms a bit</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
is when I have the chance to speak to you</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
even just for a little while.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
But I know... that I shouldn't be here. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I know this is selfish of me.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I don't want something to happen to you.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I want you to disappear somewhere</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
where not even The Author </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
or Redlight</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
or any of them</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
myself included</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
would be able to find you. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
And yet... I don't...</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
know...</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
what I'd do without you."</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
"...You'd survive, Sam.</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
Like you've always managed to. <br />
You've survived so much. </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
more than one person </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
should ever have to. </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
And you'd do it again, </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
if you had to." </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
"...And what if....</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I've become tired of simply surviving, my friend?"</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
"You'd be alright, </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
Sam." </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
"...What I'd be...</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
is alone again.<br />
Shooter is long gone. He never really</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
came back to begin with. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Redlight's copy of him was amusing in some ways,<br />
but it reminded me of how much I do miss the Cannibalistic Nutcase.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Requiem fell in a mess of blood and brains.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Philip may have seemed cold</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
but he was a Good Man. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Good Proxy.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
He cared for those who worked beneath him. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Most of which are now gone as well.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Diamondback, or Rick, rather, has fallen off the grid. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
No one has seen heads or tails of him in months.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Pariah, Vanessa, Howler, Bismarck, Dreadstrife, George, Larthmor...</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
They're all the same.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Each one is gone.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Even The Butler is avoiding me at all costs.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
And I don't even know why.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Alex has been Lost for years</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
but I finalized it by my own hand.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Even Loki is Gone..."</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
"...The Butler is avoiding you?</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
Seems a little </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
out of character for him. </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
He seemed rather loyal to you."<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
"Loyal? No, not really.</div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Just linked to.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I Converted him, after all. He was my first.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Though that was after I danced</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
on Slender Man's strings</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
and slaughtered everyone inside the mansion </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
he was employed in.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Probably the closest I've ever been to truly being Hallowed by Him.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Tackle Fucking Everything style. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I was driven at the Family.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
While Father took the Child.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Heinrich had me by the collar when I came to.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Shaking me. Screaming at me in German.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Demanding I tell him where the 'Abomination' took his charge.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
He cared for that little girl. Catherine.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Cared a great deal. Like an uncle.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
He was close to his employers.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
That was plain to see.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
And the hate that he had for me.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
The... lunatic that had come wearing claws</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
and a bloodthirsty grin...</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Heh. That Hate ran deep.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Almost as deep as the sorrow.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Yet he couldn't kill me. He didn't have it in him yet.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
But it was Father's Will for that to change.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
So I told him that, </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
if he really wanted to find Catherine,</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
that there was only one way<br />
to truly explore a Wolf's Den..."<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
"...'Join the Pack'."</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
"Exactly." </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
"Yet he <i>was</i> a loyal friend of yours. </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
Despite the past, you stood on even ground.</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
Why would that be?" </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
"...I imagine that he learned what it meant<br />
to be upon His strings.<br />
And I did save him in Detroit.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
It's a long story for another night..."</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
"...Yet, all of a sudden, </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
that doesn't matter anymore? </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
Doesn't that strike you as a bit... odd?"<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
"..." </div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
"...Well, at least you have Kali still.</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
And... Leo... as well.</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
Right?" </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
"...I'm going to lose him to Valtiel before too long. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I've been throwing myself into research. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Digging into everything. ANYTHING. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Even you have said you've been looking a bit. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
And I can't find anything.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Not a damn thing. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
And when records do exist, they're vague at best.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
It seems anywhere there has been even</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
a hint of some Activity or another, the records</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
are never complete.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
If I don't find something, </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I will lose Leo too.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I'll have failed him. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
And, as for Kali...</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Honestly, I'm surprised each morning when I wake up </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
that she's still here. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Alive. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Practically a miracle. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I don't... want to go back to being alone, Winston. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I shouldn't be bothering you anymore,</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
but the Silence is... too loud. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Too... consuming. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
It'll eat me alive. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
It'll EAT me..."</div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
"...I know, Sam.<br />
I know. <br />
And that's why I'm still here. <br />
You'll always have a seat here. <br />
Right beside mine.<br />
We can just... keep talking. <br />
Until we sort something out. </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
Just keep going. <br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
And it'll sort out."</div>
</div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
</div>
</div>
Nightscreamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08241679908254552393noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3626790529497436404.post-73069042140526321252012-12-23T19:09:00.000-08:002013-04-15T21:33:16.363-07:00Phantoms.<span style="font-family: inherit;">I'm Running.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I'm Running and I don't even know from <i>what</i>. Some...one...</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">no.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Some<i>thing</i> is Watching me. Tracking. CHASING. It's not Father. It's not... I have to Run. I have to... find somewhere. Somewhere safe. Somewhere I can... think. Think this all through. None of it is adding up. It doesn't make sense. None of it... is making any sense. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">My head won't stop... pounding. It's only getting worse. Only getting... </span> <br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">I had taken over their hotel room that night. Found a key with a red hotel tag on the corpse of the "Leader" of the group amongst some other odds and ends. Decided it was a good place as any to clean up before pressing on. I couldn't risk stayed more than just the night. Someone would eventually find the bodies, and it's difficult to cover your tracks when you have a hole in you.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Had to make due with things. Wasn't in any shape to get first aid supplies, so I scavenged what the others had had in their bags and what the hotel offered. Luckily, they did have bits and pieces of a medical kit put together. Couldn't find any kind of tweezers or that such to take out the bullet, so I had to sterilize my gauntlet and hand the best I could and just... grit through it. Clench my teeth and deal...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">I suppose Valtiel assumed... that I could use some company during it.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">I was settled... on the floor of the bathroom when I heard him. I had my fingers on the bullet when a simple cluster of words drifted across my hearing. Barely registering a meaning... but was more than enough to jar me. Accidentally pushing the bullet in deeper. Spurring a sharp stab of pain up my side. Had to grit my teeth to bear it. Sucking in a deep breath as I rested my head back against the wall behind me. Waiting for the pain to subside. Waiting for my breathing to steady.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Praying it to be an hallucination.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Wanting it to be just in my head...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">But Amber Eyes gazing up from the pool of crimson on the bathroom floor beside me spoke oppositely. A smile as plain as day painted into each inhuman depth of golden-yellow even as the voice came again. Speaking without form. Tisk-tasking me for getting sloppy before those Eyes faded... and appeared again within the body of his Arabic meat-suit of a puppet. Red scarf draped across his shoulders as always. Tossing that snake smile in challenge of the hateful glare I rose to him... when he so casually offered assistance. Offering a DEAL...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">I told him to get out.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Or, even better, to drop dead.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">He got a laugh at that. Amused. Saying that he wouldn't know how. Assuring me how he couldn't <i>possibly</i> leave, no matter how sharply I carved my tongue. Calling himself my friend. Patting himself on the back for "being there for [me] in [my] time of need. Like a good friend should be." Questioning where all my other "good friends" were. Placing words of abandonment and betrayal on the shelf for me to take or leave even as I dug out the bullet fired by my own Kin. Tossing it away to rattle across the bloodied tiles. Pressing a towel to the wound. Hard. Hard enough to spike a bolt of pain through my nervous system when my head began to sway. Sharping my awareness up again...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">He spoke toxic nothings. Tried to... convince me that I was wrong to be upset about how things turned out. About how he manipulated everything so as to own Leo. He... mentioned how it was every parents' dream to know that their child's future was... secure. Trying to talk me into... thinking that, deep down, I wanted Leo to follow in my footsteps. That it... pleased me. To think I'd be passing my "Legacy" on. That I wouldn't just... fade...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">I called it Bullshit.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">All of it.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">We argued back and forth. Talking in circles. We argued even as I gave up on stitching the shredded flesh of my wound back together. Figuring it would never hold anyway. Arguing even as I used the sink to pull myself onto my feet. Arguing as I had to use the wall to steady myself, going into the small kitchen area. Arguing even as I took hold of the knife I had laid over a red-hot element before I'd even set myself up in the bathroom to begin with. We argued... even as I pressed the metal to my wound. Pulling it against me even as my muscles fought to yank away. My back braced against the counter to pin myself. The sizzle of flesh acting as the soundtrack behind every accusation and declaration. Behind every mockery and sarcastic flip. Burnt flesh once again tainting the air as I bit my lip until it bled...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">We argued.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Until he accused me of trying to puppeteer my son. Of controlling him. Forcing him to live in a life where he was miserable. Safe. Normal. And miserable. Telling me how he was STILL crying himself to sleep each night. That he was still awake at that very moment in his own room a few states over. His room in a stranger's house. Strangers who pretend to be his family. Pretend to care for him. He told me... that HE had done more for Leo than I had ever done. That all I ever did was abandon him. Time and time again... leaving him to cry and cry and cry...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">I threw the blade at him.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">I didn't have any delusions of it hitting, and it didn't. He caught it. Began toying with it between his fingers. But it was just... for the sake of doing SOMETHING. Anything. It didn't matter what...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Until I was ready.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Until I offered myself to him. My very life in its entirety. My Service in whole until the very End of the Game itself. To Be whatever he wished me to Be... for as long as he wanted me. As close to Eternity as it's possible for a Human to Serve. I'd be his. No fine print. No way out.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">No passing Go.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">No collecting $200.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">So long as he swore Leo would Stay Out. That he'd be protected...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Valtiel simply smiled at me, at first. A nearly-soft, Knowing smile. As if he had already known I'd play the self-sacrifice card. For he knew that's exactly how I saw it. How I'd always seen it. While others saw chances to gain power, I merely saw a more... complicated life. No, not even a life. For a life has to have an Ending. It would be only... an existence. And barely one at that. A forfeit of any true meaning to each day. A forfeit... of perhaps one of the last things Good and Untainted in my mind.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">A forfeit of my Humanity...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">The Secret.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">He placed his hand on my shoulder and, under it, I never felt so heavy. So weighed. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">I was afraid.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Then he declined my offer.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Telling me that it was tempting. That he had considered it. That he had... considered the possibilities of what my future could be twisted into for a very long time. How I had... "promise" to succeed... where others who had been Chosen had failed. Like Fitzgerald. Prepared from such a young age to be the most powerful Human Puppet of All. To take redlight's place, as Redlight. But Spencer... betrayed the Cause. Spencer - or, rather, the monster beneath his skin - had schemed and found his due for it, or so Valtiel said. That Redlight lusted for power. Lusted for Godhood. Lusted to dismantle anything that stood in his way... and create a world in his own vision. A foot placed on top of the face of Humanity. A Dictatorship like no other...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">He tapped beneath one eye with his own finger. Directing attention to the same burning hue which The Devil carried in his own eyes. A glowing Amber. Smiling as he spoke of Fitzgerald's "creation". One of Valtiel's... most hands-on projects. How Redlight carried his blood. Tainted blood that ran thick and dark. How Valtiel had carved Spencer's life - Teller's life - with the aid of Writer and The Author. Slicing away at his mind and soul and Being so as to grow into the Purpose prepared for him. How, despite everything that transpired, he was still rather proud of that Project. Even if Fitzgerald himself was a failure.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">That snake smile grew as he went on. Talking about what pieces of the "Formula" were wrong with Spencer. Expanding on them... and then considering their opposites. And then he twisted the subject to rest back on my head. My shoulders. Commenting on my disinterest in power. In Leadership. In being anything more than Human. More than Mortal. Commenting on my... set-in-stone Loyalty towards Father, no matter the details that try to murk the waters...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">The hand on my shoulder touched my cheek. The touch nearly too hot as the temperature of the room itself skyrocketed. The lights flickering momentarily before dimming. Then going out. As though being smothered back by the shadows that pushed out from their hiding places around the room. Choking the light out of my Reality. Merging into a blanket of black that stretched out towards where we stood. Seemingly merging with Valtiel's very form. Becoming part of it. It becoming part of him. Those burning Amber Eyes glowing as bright and hot as the inferno of Hell itself. Blazing a cold shiver down my spine as they stirred. An invite to an Oblivion all their own. A sense of oppression settling down deep. The air in my lungs growing heavy and thick with humidity as he told me just how tempting it was... to force me into the position that had been intended for Spencer. To Be "Redlight". A Human torn from their Meaning... to act as the Figurehead above even the Highers themselves...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">So I asked him why.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">I told him I'd do it. I told him I'd do whatever he wanted of me for as long as he wanted me to do it... all while doing my best to not pay attention to the cold sweat that had broken over me. Despite the heat of the hotel room during his little... monologue. Telling him I'd be his. Completely and without question. To build or break as he wanted. Asking him why, if he was so tempted, he was turning down my forfeit...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">And the second that those final words left my lips... he was suddenly gone. The lights were on again. The shadows back where they should be. The temperature even. Only the cold sweat remained... and then his answer drifted into my hearing. As though invisible lips were leaned in close. A hair's width from my ear.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><b><i>"Because it's too much fun watching a Hero squirm, Brother." </i></b></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">worse.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">and worse.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">and worse.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">what aren't I seeing? </span>every time I feel that shadow of a concept... brushing the tips of my fingers over a real answer... it slips away...<br />
<br />
no.<br />
<br />
no that's...<br />
<br />
it's dragged awway<br />
<br />
it's DRAGGED away....<br />
<br />
Or am I being dragged from it?<br />
<br />
<br />
I have to... rest for a while. I have to think this through. Research on Valtiel is... non-conclusive. Not much to go on. Not much to find out. Sometimes feels like I'm chasing a gghost... <br />
<br />
God, my head hurts so much. It feels like<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">A week or so later, I received an email from someone that I had thought was dead. Gleeman.<br /> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">He had Kali.<br /><br />As I had feared despite Morningstar's assurance to the contrary... the shot that Loki took proved too much to be healed. He survived a little while, then was found dead one morning. Gleeman said that Morningstar took it rather hard. Felt he... failed me.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Nevertheless. Kali was still alive.<br /><br />We
made plans to meet immediately. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">We decided on the... skirt edge of a rather
large city. Not far from where he himself was finishing a job that Fracture
had paid him to do. Gleeman wasn't too keen on talking to me much apart from making it clear that he blamed me for the deaths of the others. I did try to pay him for looking after
Kali for me. Gave my best attempt to force money into his pockets. Even
suggested he could just donate it to a Children's Charity if he didn't
want it that much...<br /> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">But he wouldn't take it.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Simply told me to just "go the hell away" already.<br /><br />So I did.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">I tossed Kali's cage in the next trash can I passed by. Let her up on my shoulder in just the way we used to travel...</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">It felt... so wrong... to only have weight on one. </span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">But it doesn't matter. None of it matters.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />They're all dead.<br /><br />And I'm alive.<br /><br />That Should Be Reason Enough To Smile, Right?<br /> </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Just Smile... even when I'm destroy myself to protect my son.<br /><br /><br />It's
been suicide. Suicide since the beginning. I knew that. But I didn't
care. I was already a Servant. My very soul tainted as black as my
attire. Damned to Hell or worse. My tongue and glare sharpened better
than my blades. How could things... possibly get worse...?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">it's just
so... hard to think sometimes...</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Regardless, it doesn't matter.<br /> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">There's nothing more they can take from me<br /><br />And when you have nothing left</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">suicide is just...</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">logical<br /> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
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<span style="color: #444444;">LEA SILL<br /> </span><br />
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Nightscreamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08241679908254552393noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3626790529497436404.post-34847183907426737992012-12-12T14:03:00.000-08:002013-04-15T21:17:18.830-07:00Time.I never... worried much about it before.<br />
<br />
My place...
has always been without question. I was a mere Servant – fit to Fall
when my Time came. But… it never did. It almost did. Several times, it
approached… then passed me by. Sometimes close enough to bash shoulders
and send me down to my knees. A pathetic wreck of a human… but, again,
I’d find my feet. Again, I’d go forth with His Will in mind and soul.
Again, the blood would begin to flow… again, I'd smile as others
screamed...<br />
<br />
Part of me has always feared… that Death
would forever pass me by. That I would be caught and held in this web
for all eternity. For as long as Father had use of petty humans upon
strings. That this was to be… my Forever. A strange manner of…
accidental Immortality. I never wanted such a thing. Never. Could never
understand those who did…<br />
<br />
Where... do we draw the line in our lives...?<br />
<br />
How far is "too far"...?<br />
<br />
Nothing makes... sense anymore... it hasn't for a long time. but i can't... i cant figure out... where... <br />
<br />
But I could tell a Story.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">I know how it started. I remember. After I left that little hole in the wall in the early morning of October 6th, I know...
there was a period of darkness. I blinked, and suddenly the world had shifted. I wasn't... where I should have been. Everything was aching even before I pried my eyes open. Finding myself collapsed against a wall in an
alley. Sitting on the trash-littered ground with the rain pouring down around me. Expanding the puddle one of my legs was in. Pounding on the roofs and
pavement and trash cans all around me. Singing its dreadful notes across the city. Torturing my head. I could see the mouth of the alley filled with blurs
and flashes of light and movement as traffic sped past. Burning my eyes even before the scream of a siren approached. Ambulance. Firetrucks. Rushing straight past and continuing on.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Big
enough city, they must have always been on one call or another. No reason to draw too much attention to it...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">It was October 17th. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">There
was... a rat hunched over my leg. He was trying to eat through the fabric
to have himself a nice meal out of my calf. Pudgy little fella
probably thought I was dead. Probably drawn in by the blood that
covered me. Though I wasn't sure at the time if it was mine or not. Later realized it was the latter.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">The rodent was quick to scurry away when I shifted. He rattled the empty shell of a red coke can as he fled for whatever means he understood as his own sanctuary. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">The small noise made my head pound worse. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">I felt as though... I was in a vacuum. A feeling of being completely and
wholly separate from everyone. Everything. Seeing but not seeing.
Hearing but not hearing. Being but not being. Everything twisted and
warped. So much, I wanted to just... let go of the reins. To return to
that blackness that had stolen time from me. But then... slowly... I
remembered Amber Eyes. I remembered Leo. I knew I couldn't let go just
yet. I knew I had work to do. Yet it still took me... ages to drag
myself to my feet. I felt like I
hadn't eaten in near forever. I felt weak. Scattered. Like even the
rain beating down on my shoulders was too much to burden...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">I
simply assumed that... it had been Father. That my strings had been yanked
back and I'd been forced to His side again. It wouldn't have been the
first time He did so and broke my memory of it. He knows not of the fragility of humans... or, perhaps, he does Know. And simply expects us to break when the strain becomes too much.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">It has been two and a half years since I fell to my knees before Him. Clinging to the limp body of my little girl in a pretty pink blanket. Two and a half years of Service. Of killing. Of finding reasons to smile in a life that only exists to steal those reasons from you. From me. From everyone. Wearing us down. Wearing us out. Watching the edges tatter and tear. The colors fading out, bit by bit...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Proxies begin their Stories at the Ending...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">We don't tend to last too long...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Why am I still here...?</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">I saw Father that night. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">My steps were staggered as I tried to make my way to somewhere safe. Somewhere dry. Somewhere where I could be alone and sit down and think. Try to sort out what was happening to me. What had happened to me. I just... needed some time to collect myself. To sleep and eat and clean up a little...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">I hadn't gotten far before I realized... that the city was on fire.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">the traffic was only headed in one direction, save for the emergency vehicles...</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">And The City Was On Fire.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">The orange glow filled the air. The flames rising up above the buildings themselves even as firefighters attempted to contain it. Isolate it. Prevent it from growing anymore than it already had. The thick smoke billowing into the skies above. Challenging the rain, and winning. The sirens were everywhere. Police evacuating the city. Telling the citizens where to go. People were scared. Crying. Yelling.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">I didn't even know what city I was in.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">I felt something tug on my sleeve and turned to find a small child staring up at me. A boy. No more than eight years old. A jacket with a hood up covering blonde hair.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">"Do You See?" </span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">A shadow in the distance behind the boy stole my attention.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Father stood beneath the glow of a yellow lamp light in the rain across the road. Unseen by those crowding the streets.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Staring Right At Me.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Then a red truck passed between us, and He was Gone.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></span></span>
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I Keep Seeing Him.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">It's wrong.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">It was always so... rare for Him to show Himself to a Servant. Rare... and so very dangerous. But something has changed. Something... had to have changed. I Keep Seeing Him. Again and again, ever since the Cult Town. Ever since Strangers fought Sickness in a battle that tore into reality and l<span style="font-family: inherit;">eft a wound infected and seeping pus...</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">He Watches Me.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Growing more and more frequent. Closer. Then farther. Across the road. Across the field. In the same ROOM.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">As if I was a Runner again.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I don't know what to do, it doesn't make sense, He just...</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">I was stupid. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">I was too wrapped up in my own thoughts. It had been a few days since I woke up and I had moved on to another town, but I still wasn't any clearer minded. My eye was sore most of all. A headache in the back of it. Distracting me. Too many things distracting me to realize I was being followed. Recognized
by my own kin. Proxies.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">But they didn’t see me as “Kin” anymore.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">I was a “Redlight Loyalist”.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Despite Redlight having disappeared for months...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Despite Amber Eyes assuring me that the Crimson Prince was dead...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Despite The Valtiels taking full responsibility for the Organization’s Fall...</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">The paranoia remains. No one - myself included - could quite shake off the feeling... that Redlight was more involved in matters than anyone realized. Or, perhaps, chose to realize.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">They had me backed into an alleyway. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Two pit bulls yanked at their choke collars in front of them. Eyes on me. Barking. Growling. Teeth bared and saliva dripping. Their
holders seemed to struggle a bit to hold them back. Bracing themselves against
the leash even as the four Proxies took turns speaking of the
hardship that they'd come upon now that The Organization wasn’t flipping the bill or...
brushing off police attention. Apparently, their group had been thirteen not so long ago... but a certain group... “affair” had called the attention
of the local authorities. When things got heated, Proxies that had
become accustomed to being untouchable drew their guns. Bullets flew.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Six Proxies died.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Three were wounded and arrested.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Four escaped.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">And it was those same four who wanted to... repay me for where I chose to lay my Service.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">The... dogs came first. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">One
earned a bullet between the eyes before it even neared me. Body falling hard against a wood pallet even as its partner with the red collar went on without it. Eyes looked on my throat even as the second bullet grazed across its
jaw. Sparing it. And, when it lunged, it took me straight off my feet. Knocking over a
trashcan on our way down and hitting the ground hard. The arm of my
gauntlet shoved in its mouth as it bite down as hard as it could.
Clawing at my torso. Ripping fabric and flesh. Pushing its weight against me. The stupid animal
too focused on my throat to even think to withdraw that little bit just
to get my gauntlet from its jaws. Instead, it tried snapping against the
steel. As though expecting to be able to bite through it.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">The pressure from its jaws was still painful.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">A third shot fired took out its ribcage.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">My
Kin were on me even as I was throwing the dead weight off – an army
boot planting down on my right arm to pin my gun... so I tore the blades
of my gauntlet across the back of his knee with my left. He screamed and
fell down to one knee even as I rolled away – twisting to my feet just
in time to meet the other three advancing. More specifically, just in
time to "meet" the hunting knife in the hand of a fiery, red-haired
woman. I managed to twist so it only skimmed my side instead of being
buried in it, but she seemed to anticipate that and quickly corrected
her motion in a way I hadn’t expected. Pulling her arm back and up to
crack the butt of the knife to my skull. Aiming for my temple, but
catching just beside my eye. I staggered a step back even as another
Proxy dropped behind me and spun – his leg sweeping my feet out from
under me.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">I hit back against the dumpster. It "caught" me from my fall partly as I twisted down its side to meet the ground on my hands and knees...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">But it was a good position to do some batting practice.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">My hand found a plank of wood.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">When
I cracked it around... it hit and dragged with a resistance I hadn’t
expected. Blood spraying... and tearing out an eyeball - skewered by nails
- even as another nail in the board sunk into the woman’s temple and
tore out the side of her face. Her twitching body collapsing back
amongst the dogs as the other two rushed me. I used both wood and steel
to block as I found myself forced to back up more and more...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">I
heard a shout of rage and glanced behind the two in my face... just in
time to see that the first member with one useless leg (which he’d tied
his shirt around to attempt to prevent blood-loss) had crawled over to the
woman. Had found her dead. And now had a semi-automatic pointed down at
me.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Or, rather, us.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">He shot, but I
accepted a blade passing across my chest in exchange for a human shield.
Pulling the young man in close to me even as the bullets rattled his
body. Most the bullets stopped within it, but one traveled through him
and stopped in me instead. I dropped with the body – grabbing the
smaller handgun strapped beneath my pant leg – and fired back at the
“mourning” Proxy. Hitting his shoulder, then his neck, even as a last
bullet from his own gun splattered bone and brain into one bloody mess
that was once the head of the corpse leaned against me. My human shield
nearly spent.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">I turned in my crouch at rushing steps,
but found them to be running away down the alley. The figure obviously
having had enough and wished to preserve their own life...</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">I fired my remaining bullets at their retreat. I heard one ricochet... and that was all. I was alone again. Surrounded by the dead. There was so much blood... theirs and mine... I felt sick.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">What purpose came of this? We were kin. </span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">So much death. </span><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"> </span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">So much.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
Nightscreamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08241679908254552393noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3626790529497436404.post-73005428312129647332012-12-08T06:46:00.000-08:002012-12-08T06:46:45.457-08:00Goodbye To A Good Friend. Part 11.So...<br />
<br />
I went to "Joseph" in the middle of
a raging storm... that fit all too well the turmoil I felt inside. Part
of me wanted to hate him... and the other part only hated myself. One
part wanted to make him suffer for betraying me... the other part wanted
to make certain he knew I still thought of him as a friend. A conflict
that he saw without even sparing me a single glance. But, of course, he
would know. He was always gifted when it came to reading people...<br />
<br />
Or perhaps that would be "cursed".<br />
<br />
He was always a smart man. Too smart for his own good. Too prideful.<br />
<br />
When he Fell, he Fell bone-crushingly hard.<br />
<br />
And
it was the remains of him that I found nursing a drink in the middle of
that storm. A man who had come to fully accept that he was finished...
and seemed content in the silence that surrounded him. That seemed to
have become part of him. Even as he spoke to me, it seemed like a chore
for him. Tiring. As if the sound of his own voice was unpleasant for
him. As if he preferred the Silence.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>"Cheers, Sam... to me regaining my humanity. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>I was played,</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>soundly beaten,</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>then ran away like a coward. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>Self-preservation and pity at its finest."</i> </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
I hadn't intended to tell him everything, but I did.<br />
<br />
I told him everything.<br />
<br />
I
even told him... what my Plan was. Or what it had been, for that
matter. I told it to him... despite the fact that the chances of me
surviving long enough to pull it off the shelf again were beyond nil...<br />
<br />
But you still don't get to hear about that.<br />
<br />
It's
still my Plan. Mostly intact. I never spoke of it to anyone...
pardoning Winston on October 5th in a little no-name town about a
fifteen minutes drive from the State line. He was an exception. You, my
friends, are not. Not even close.<br />
<br />
As I went through
one event after another, I found myself speaking to the floor. To the
windows. Down to my gauntlet which I had clutched close to my body. Some
things were easier to speak of than others. Once or twice, my mind
would spiral ahead of my tongue and I'd need a moment to bring it back.
To refocus and continue. Winston seemed to be struck speechless for the
most part. Probably for the first time in his life. He never
interrupted. Never asked a single question. But he was listening. I
could tell that. He was listening acutely. Taking in all that I offered,
and, for the first time since I arrived, there was almost - <i>almost</i>
- a flicker of the man I first met in the Cafe when I'd just started
being Hunted by the Plague Doctor. Almost a hint of Life. Almost a hint
of... interest. Of... want.<br />
<br />
Winston and I had a lot in common.<br />
<br />
One of which was our drumming desire to Understand.<br />
<br />
On
that afternoon, I gave him every piece he'd been missing. Every piece
he had once wanted to finish his opinion of me. To finally Understand
me. Or stand the best chance to. I gave him that. More because I wanted him to
Understand, than that he really wanted to know still. I don't even know
if he cared anymore... but I felt that I owed that much to him...<br />
<br />
For
a good while after I was done, there was only silence. Long,
undisturbed silence. We listened to the rain. The wind. The growling of
thunder in the clouds - not yet thundering. Then, finally, Winston had
his choice of words.<span style="font-size: small;"> </span><br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-size: small;">"<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">W</span></span>ith all that you've suffered through, Sam... I wonder if you'd be better off dead."</span></i></div>
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">I finally looked up to him again. The tone had been deadpan, but... he <span style="font-size: small;">was fi<span style="font-size: small;">nally looking me in the eyes. Perhaps<span style="font-size: small;">... that was <span style="font-size: small;">the <span style="font-size: small;">real reason I<span style="font-size: small;"> went there. What it was all about.</span></span></span></span></span></span>
No more lies, no more talks of the "Game" that we both used to love so
much... just two figures standing in the still darkness, with nothing
but their shadows for company<span style="font-size: small;">.</span> <span style="font-size: small;">A</span>side from each other, in any case...</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">I told hi<span style="font-size: small;">m I was tired. That I've wanted rest for so long<span style="font-size: small;"> now...</span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">It got so much worse after I "escaped" the Plague Doctor. He never really let <span style="font-size: small;">me go. Not in my head. And <span style="font-size: small;">He only plays a part. There are <span style="font-size: small;">so many other faces. And <span style="font-size: small;">One with no<span style="font-size: small;"> face a<span style="font-size: small;">t all.</span></span></span></span></span></span> </span>Sleep is no refuge. It <span style="font-size: small;">never is. Trying to <span style="font-size: small;">separate the n<span style="font-size: small;">ightmares from reality is near impossible when everything is pain<span style="font-size: small;">ted with blood. When all you hear is screaming and pleads for life and death.</span></span> I told him that, even if I<span style="font-size: small;"> do manage the impossible - and I hold no delusion of what kind of undertaking I've put on myself -</span></span></span></span></span> I <span style="font-size: small;">dou<span style="font-size: small;">bted that I'd <span style="font-size: small;">finish what I started. <span style="font-size: small;">That I'd <span style="font-size: small;">put my <span style="font-size: small;">Plan back into <span style="font-size: small;">motion.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">Because I want to d<span style="font-size: small;">ie.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">I want my <span style="font-size: small;">End.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">I<span style="font-size: small;">'ve seen enough. I've done enough.<span style="font-size: small;"> I'm just...<span style="font-size: small;"> done.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">I'm Living for the Chance to Die now.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">I deserve it<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">, don<span style="font-size: small;">'t</span></span> I...<span style="font-size: small;">?</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">But... I can't<span style="font-size: small;"> <span style="font-size: small;">let that happen. Not yet. I can't die. I have to live... because I have to kill Valtiel. I have to find someway to protect Leo. Or<span style="font-size: small;">, at<span style="font-size: small;"> least,<span style="font-size: small;"> find some way to get close enough to... murder him. Just like I...<span style="font-size: small;"> like<span style="font-size: small;"> I murdered his sister. I could do it. If I just had the chance again, I... I have to do it. If given the chance again...</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">If I don't find a way,<span style="font-size: small;"> Valtiel will po<span style="font-size: small;">ison him. Take him as a new Toy once he's o<span style="font-size: small;">ld enough... <span style="font-size: small;">and <span style="font-size: small;">shove him forward to walk the same path I did. To become me. Until he, too, is reduced to Nothing.<span style="font-size: small;"> Until he Falls.</span> And <span style="font-size: small;">when he does... the cycle would</span> probably be <span style="font-size: small;">repeated <span style="font-size: small;">onto... any children that <span style="font-size: small;">Leo<span style="font-size: small;"> had by then</span><span style="font-size: small;">. <span style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">M</span>y... gra<span style="font-size: small;">nd<span style="font-size: small;">children.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">I can't let that happen.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">I can't be the cause of that.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">I can't.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">I told <span style="font-size: small;">that to Winston... and his exp<span style="font-size: small;">ressio<span style="font-size: small;">n harde<span style="font-size: small;">ned<span style="font-size: small;"> as he watched me. </span></span></span></span></span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-size: small;">"You can only do so much, Sam.</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-size: small;">Talking about yourself like you have the power to be some kind of savior<span style="font-size: small;">...</span></span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-size: small;">telling me what you <span style="font-size: small;">'</span>have to do<span style="font-size: small;">'..<span style="font-size: small;">.</span> </span></span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">S</span>top treating your life as if it's a means to an end. </span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-size: small;">Maybe I can't... </span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-size: small;">exactly comprehend the type of connections you have, </span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">t</span>he type of love you possess... </span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-size: small;">but if you're going to do something, you should do it for yourself, </span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-size: small;">instead of making excuses about what you need to do. </span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-size: small;">Maybe... you give up the fight.</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-size: small;">See where the other road goes."</span></i><br />
</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">I said nothing. I merely stared into those<span style="font-size: small;"> <span style="font-size: small;">hollow eyes... and <span style="font-size: small;">I knew he <span style="font-size: small;">rea<span style="font-size: small;">lized then - or perhaps he had know<span style="font-size: small;">n, and had just forgotten - that I wasn't there for advice. That <span style="font-size: small;">we</span> w<span style="font-size: small;">ere</span>n't <span style="font-size: small;">standing in</span> the Cafe and we weren't talking about <span style="font-size: small;">the idiocy of the Highers or the dangers <span style="font-size: small;">that c<span style="font-size: small;">ame with the Mongrel <span style="font-size: small;">rising as The Devil.<span style="font-size: small;"> <span style="font-size: small;">That I'd been detou<span style="font-size: small;">red onto Story<span style="font-size: small;"> Time by my own choice. Perhaps a choice at delay...</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">Because I wasn't him.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">Because I co<span style="font-size: small;">uld never just <span style="font-size: small;">run away. Hide and w<span style="font-size: small;">ait for karma to catch up with me.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">I could never just let myself rot while I still</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"> ha<span style="font-size: small;">d</span> a heartbeat. While I ha<span style="font-size: small;">d</span> two legs that work.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">My cause m<span style="font-size: small;">ay be irrational. Reckless. Moronic.</span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">But I still don't have an excuse not to try anyway.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">I'm not a <span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">S</span>avior.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">I'm a Killer. </span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">And this <span style="font-size: small;">i</span>s my son<span style="font-size: small;">'s fut<span style="font-size: small;">ure</span></span>.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">I <span style="font-size: small;">don't need another reason more than that to try for the impossible.</span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">I guess that makes me the stupid one, after all.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">Winston was no <span style="font-size: small;">fool. He<span style="font-size: small;"> <span style="font-size: small;">may have given up... but he still could read <span style="font-size: small;">nearly anyone like a book.</span></span></span></span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>"You told me all this... because you really are going to kill me.</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>Aren't you?"</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">Fifteen minutes after that question, I <span style="font-size: small;">left into the heavy rain. <span style="font-size: small;">The storm that had engulfed the <span style="font-size: small;">city only seemed angrier. The wind howling <span style="font-size: small;">like a banshee as it tore at my clothes.<span style="font-size: small;"> <span style="font-size: small;">The rain pounding down on my shoulders and head. Soaking right down through my <span style="font-size: small;">hoodie to chill my flesh beneath... <span style="font-size: small;">tinging off my gauntlet... <span style="font-size: small;">my gauntlet that I will ne<span style="font-size: small;">ver be able to take off ever again...</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">Despite the rage of the element, the rain felt<span style="font-size: small;">... <span style="font-size: small;">good. Numbing.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">Even <span style="font-size: small;">towards the h<span style="font-size: small;">eadache that<span style="font-size: small;"> pounded on my s<span style="font-size: small;">kull.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">In</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></span>that <span style="font-size: small;">moment<span style="font-size: small;">... walking the desert<span style="font-size: small;">ed streets... repla<span style="font-size: small;">ying years of events over and over in my head...</span></span></span> the world <span style="font-size: small;">never seemed <span style="font-size: small;">so empty. So damaged. So... alien to me.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">What happened in th<span style="font-size: small;">ose fifteen minutes<span style="font-size: small;">.</span></span>.. is not for your entertainment.</span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">Winston may have <span style="font-size: small;">betrayed me... but he was still a friend.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">And he may have been a friend<span style="font-size: small;">... but he still betrayed me.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">And betrayal has consequences. </span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">He deserve<span style="font-size: small;">s both better and worse than <span style="font-size: small;">anything I could write here.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">I hate him for what he did.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">But I will miss him.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">We were friends.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">In this life, that simply doesn't exist.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">We <span style="font-size: small;">were... an impossibility. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">And I hope to <span style="font-size: small;">God to see him again</span> one day.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">Maybe after I find my E<span style="font-size: small;">nd, I'll be able to.</span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">Just... not yet.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span>Nightscreamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08241679908254552393noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3626790529497436404.post-31806780903414460332012-12-02T12:21:00.000-08:002012-12-02T12:21:18.704-08:00Goodbye To A Good Friend. Part 10.I breezed straight past him without sparing him a glance. Strides now
taking me down the alleyway and, soon, onto the street. By then, the
school staff would only be just starting to realize that something had
gone horribly wrong. What exactly had gone wrong, however, they would
have had to wait to find out until they could to get anything
intelligible from Leo. Probably a few hours from then. After his new
parents were called in. After the pain numbed out and he felt like
talking again...<br />
<br />
Though I doubted even then that they'd get much from him. <br />
<br />
As
I retraced my steps back to where I hid my things... I was suddenly
conscious of steps falling in step beside me. Valtiel matching me stride
for stride. His presence Seen only to me. The Norms unconsciously
giving way to open his path...<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><i>"You really do care about Leo, don't you, Sam?</i></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><i>You really do love him. </i></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><i> I
have to admit, a part of me wondered...</i></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><i>how much of this was merely you
going through the motions. </i></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><i>But now I see that you still are capable of love
and caring..."</i></b></div>
<br />
<br />
I glanced to the
figure of the corpse out of the corner of my eye... but I had nothing to
say to him. I wanted to be left alone for a while. To have a chance to
sort things out in my head. But it was plainly obvious that I wasn't
going to be granted that. Not right away. But that didn't mean I had to
encourage it.<br />
<br />
So I turned down the alley I'd stashed my things in. Leaving Valtiel to follow.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><b>"You know...
Love is something that... </b></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><b> Does not come naturally to things like me, Sam. </b></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><b>Oh,
sure I can... Mimic it. But I can't experience it. </b></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><b> At least. I don't think so... but I like to experiment with things, Sam.</b></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><b>So... You've inspired me.</b></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><b>I
intend to adopt. Raise a child myself. See what happens. </b></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><b>I even have one
picked out. </b></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><b>His parents wouldn't care... I mean. One is regrettably no
longer among us. </b></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><b>The other... Well. The other walked away in their last
meeting. </b></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><b>Broke the poor tyke's heart.</b></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><b>He won't even be able to focus in
class anymore. </b></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><b>But that's fine. </b></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><b>I have been speaking to the Proper People
about... Adopting this child. </b></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><b>Isn't that nice of me, Sam?"</b></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
My
steps froze.
Bolting me in place. A chill creeping its fingers up my spine and
turning my
stomach against itself as my stare snap onto Amber. A boil beginning
deep down in my core and quickly spreading out as pieces clicked into
place. Growling at the thing in the image of a corpse. Telling him to
stay the HELL away from my son. That, if he wanted to embrace the idea
of family life and raise another bloody Morningstar, then to go pick
from the damned litter at the Orphanage. That Leo was off limits. Point
black. I told him to not even joke...<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><b>"Well, Sam... I </b></i><b>did</b><i><b> promise he would be safe,
didn't I? </b></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><b> Where is safer than under my protection?</b></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><b>Of course... I'll ensure Leo receives a
proper education... </b></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><b>Some self-defense lessons. </b></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><b>Perhaps a pet Raven or
two to call his own. </b></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><b>Maybe, eventually... a Gauntlet?"</b></i></div>
<br />
<br />
Realization dawned in that moment.<br />
<br />
And, from it, horror rose.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>"Y-You...</i><br />
<br />
<i>You... planned this. All of this. You...</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>...YOU SON OF A </i><b>BITCH</b><i>!"</i></div>
<br />
<br />
I
lunged. Hands gripping Alex's shirt and slamming the corpse back
against the wall of the alley in much the same way I'd later do to
"Joseph". A comparison that didn't escape me on the later date... only,
when I did it then, I only had hollow eyes stare back at my passively.
Accepting. Allowing.<br />
<br />
With Alex... the force of the
movement tore what little there was left holding the head on. Splitting
it from the remains of the spine as it snapped back against the wall -
parting it from the body and falling to the ground. Rolling just enough
to let me watch Amber Eyes return to blue. Staring up at me. Just like
at the mental hospital. The image of that Knowing stare was back on me
in full force. Those dead eyes staring up at me with the rest of the
corpse still held in my shaking hands against the brick wall. Clotted
blood making its mark, as though complimenting the horrific scene as a
second realization came to me.<br />
<br />
It hadn't been one of Valtiel's little illusions to disturb me.<br />
<br />
It was Alex.<br />
<br />
Or, rather, the body.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><i>"That's the second time you've taken your spouse's head off, Sam.</i></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><i>Ever thought of having a divorce instead of resorting to violence?"</i></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I felt a burn inside.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Not of loss.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Not of guilt.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Not even of anger.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
It was Hate.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
True Hate.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
There was no comparison to it.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Not to what I felt for David when he tried to rape me.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Not even to what I felt for Dimme while under her foot.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
It was beyond the Hate that cared for one's self.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
It was a Hate that only a parent could give birth to.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
A
Hate reserved only for those who dare to intrude between them and their
young. Raw and brutal. Dragging its nails through my entire system. My
body. My mind. Filling me like I used to imagine those slithering snakes
filled the human-shaped bag that was Valtiel. Everything in me bound so
tight it ached with the effort. A coil fit to explode. Jaw clenched, I
slowly pried my grip open on the corpse in front of me... and I watched
it slip sideways. Dragging a smear of clotted blood along the bricks as
it scraped down the wall and fell to the ground with a dull THUD.
Joining its head.<br />
<br />
I watched it.<br />
<br />
Body
trembling with a pain and rage that spread like a virus through my
system. A cancer that infected every inch of me. One hand braced on that
brick wall just to keep myself upright. Strained fingers dragging down
that rough surface - threatening to peel back fingernails - as my other
nails cut into my palm. A trickle of blood earned within the fist.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I
couldn't even tear my glare from the body. I didn't trust my
self-control enough to not just shatter if I saw those Amber Eyes above
that familiar, glued-in-place, unpleasantly pleasant smile. I knew where
he was. In my mind's eye, I could see him. Standing on the opposite end
of the alley. Beneath a scrawny looking tree along a chain-link fence.
Not far from the corner of the building itself. Wearing that same damn
suit. That same red scarf. Nothing ever changed with him. Nothing.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I
didn't give a shit for the corpse. Alex was already dead. Desecration
hardly made a difference. Dead was dead. End of Story. Or, at least, End
of THAT Story.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I
demanded... to know when it started. When Valtiel had set his eye on my
boy. When it had all become one big fucking JOKE with my son as the
goddamn punch-line.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
That smile slithered into a grin.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Two years.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Two. Fucking. YEARS!</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
He
claimed to be working on a "Project" to create the ideal Proxy. Ideal
Soldiers. He said too many were "maddogs needing choke collars". Too
many required a System - like the Organization - holding their leash. It
was a mistake. Just like he said he'd make a mistake with the Original
Morningstar. That he had overestimated the level of cruelty needed to
"perfect the formula." To creating Soldiers who were not only loyal and
competent... but also independent. Functional. To a point, rational.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Like me.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
He said I should be proud.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
That I started out as a Nothing. A No One. The long-shot bet.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
But,
over the years, I had proved myself. Again and again and again. I
became a valuable piece that even the Highers were hesitant to get rid
of, despite the attitude problem. Despite killing my own Handler and
flipping them off at every opportunity. I'd been "worth the headache" to
keep around. Until I threw in alliances with Redlight, in any case.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
My "forumla" was more or less correct.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
One that Father had done Himself.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Valtiel
went on. Going on about how... now that I was older and nearly
worn-through, all there was left to do... was copy the Formula. And who
better to copy it to than my very own bloodline. A brand new generation
of "Home Brewed Proxies" all growing from the same family tree.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><b>"He really is growing up fast, you know. </b></i><br />
<i><b>Smart, Athletic, Sociable..."</b></i><br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
Another
lifetime ago, Alex and I had been dating for two years. We both had
careers that had to come first, so other things got pushed to the
back-burner. On the second Anniversary of our first date, we went out
looking our best. Money was starting to come a bit easier, so we thought
we'd have a romantic dinner to celebrate the occasion. After waiting
for an hour and getting a meal that was cold and, yet, somehow still
burnt... we opted out. Went to a Taco Bell just down the road. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
We
sat on the hood of Alex's old junker. Decked out in the finest clothes
we owned... and ate Taco Bell under the lamplight which hid most of the
stars. It had started to rain a little and I'd suggested we finished
inside the car... to which Alex only grinned at me. Asking what it was
like being made of sugar. That hygiene must be a real pain to maintain.
Teasing. Always teasing. We always did. Back and forth...</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
That light mist managed to drown us as good as any downpour.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
And, under it, a gold ring was offered. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Crowned only with the <i>tiniest </i>chip of a diamond.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
The rain made it gleam like it was the finest thing on the face of the Earth.</div>
<i><b><br /></b></i>
<i><b><br /></b></i>
<i><b>"He has the makings of Greatness, just like his parents. </b></i><br />
<i><b> All he needs is a
few more years of... Preparation. Then he needs Tragedy. </b></i><br />
<br />
<i><b>And he'll
spiral down to our level."</b></i><br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
Almost
six months later, we received a phone call from Alex's brother. He
needed a helping hand and was wondering if Alex still had "that old
junker" or not. And, if so, if Alex would mind if he borrowed it for a
few days. The old junker wasn't even a car we took far out of town,
leave alone across the State line, so Alex asked if I'd mind him taking
my car instead. It was old, but not yet run into the ground.<br />
<br />
I
said it was fine, but Alex made sure he realized that we needed it back
by the end of the week. But, of course, he would know that. He had been
sent an Invite just like all of our other family and close friends. He
confirmed he was still coming. Had the card stuck on his fridge.<br />
<br />
We were getting married on Friday. Our mutual favorite day of the week.<br />
<br />
TGIF.<br />
<br />
Thursday,
Alex answered the phone. It was for me. I took it, and learned that
Alex's brother had been caught smuggling drugs and they had impounded a
car that was licensed to me. The fee and transport to go get it was
going to cost more than the car was worth.<br />
<br />
I told the Nice Man on the phone to keep the damn thing.<br />
<br />
My
Spouse-To-Be-In-Under-Twenty-Four-Hours hugged me from behind.
Apologizing. Reminding me that we still had the Junker, if nothing else.<br />
<br />
We'd make do. We had no choice.<br />
<br />
Little Leo was only JUST starting to let the whole world know of his existence. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<i><b>"Just like Morningstar, </b></i><br />
<i><b>but perhaps a bit less
impulsive when the time comes."</b></i><br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
On
a dreary day a flood of memories later, short arms extended up to me as
Alex and I
gaze through the Used Car Lot on the corner of Second and Wooddrift. The
Car
Salesman's name was Adam. Adam Pettinicchio. He had a Canadian accent,
which he seemed happy to amuse us with. It was the kind of day
that made it hard to pry yourself out of bed... but Alex and I both had
the day off and had already
decided to use
it to check something off that ever-growing To Do list. Alex's old
junker had probably stopping being road legal in the spring, and Adam
had been showing us options. One of which was the car that would come to
break down in a couple years time - a month before Leo's birthday. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
The
overcast made our Little Man tired. Cranky. After Alex had picked him
up and put him down about four times on his demand, Leo eventually came
to tug on my jeans before stretching those short arms over his head to
me. Chin quivering and eyes seconds from tears.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>"Up!"</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Like Alex, my back was sore from all the painting we'd been doing in our first house.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
And, like Alex, I picked him up anyway.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
He was asleep in five minutes. </div>
<br />
<br />
<i><b>"This time I intend to see to it that
the Tragedy comes at a critical point,</b></i><br />
<i><b>instead of all of his life. </b></i><br />
<i><b>Morningstar was a failure for that reason.</b></i><br />
<br />
<i><b>I do not intend to make the same mistake with Leo."</b></i><br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
About a month and a half later, we had the second worst fight of our entire relationship.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Accusations
were thrown like seeds on a field. Threatening to grow hate and
resentment where love and understanding had flourished for so long. Past
issues were dug up. Not just from when we'd known each other, but
before that. A small disagreement building into a near yelling match...</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
And,
from underneath it, a sound began to grow that stopped us dead where we
stood. A sound that plagued us both with regret and shame. A sound that
tore right through the paper-thin walls of our first house...</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Leo was crying in his room. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
We
went to see him. Reassured him like a couple would until he had calmed
down. Put him back to bed, and then slipped out once we were sure he was
asleep. Vowing to ourselves that our children - for there seemed no
question to either of us that there would be more - would never hear
that again. That arguments would never rise to that level ever again.
That we'd talk things out maturely. Respectfully. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
We finished the evening routine while barely speaking to each other, and retired to bed...</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
We made love that night.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
In the morning, we woke wrapped up in each others' arms.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Before
we even so much as shifted, we agreed on what we had started arguing
about before: We were going to move out of that house. A house that had
only been one headache after another... and, as luck would have it, we
found Home only two weeks later.<br />
<br />
We were happy.<br />
<br />
Our lives were far from perfect... but we were happy. </div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br />
It took our lives getting torn apart by Slender Man... before we broke the Vow we made that evening.<br />
<br />
We shattered it to a million pieces a few days before The Accident.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><b> "You should be thanking me, Sam. </b></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><b>I will ensure he is nice
and safe. Happy even. </b></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><b>Until he is capable of defending himself. </b></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><b>I can't
have him turn out like my Morningstar did."</b></i></div>
<br />
<br />
And,
as everything fell into its place from there... I came to stand with
Alex decapitated at my feet... and Leo's soul - his entire life - sold
to a Snake because I was too cowardly to kill him. He'd been right in my
arms... and I'd been too much of an idealist COWARD to spare my son the
misery. The agony. The loss. If I truly loved him like I claimed, I
would have killed him. I should have.<br />
<br />
Just like I should have ended Alex's misery the same night I ended Laura's.<br />
<br />
But I was a coward.<br />
<br />
I <i>am</i> a coward.<br />
<br />
A goddamn, good for nothing, hypocritical coward...<br />
<br />
And
it was in that moment in the alley... listening to Vivi explain his
little plan... that something in my trembling being SNAPPED. I felt it. I
nearly <i>heard</i> it. Everything spinning and shifting and <i>moving</i>
until I realized it wasn't the world that was moving. It was me. I know
I used The Path to close the distance in but a fraction of a second,
and then I was slashing with the knife I had stashed in my pocket. My
instincts - deeply engrained from Dimme's teachings - told my legs where
to go as my single blade sought its victim... and only found air. Time
and time again. The heat practically <i>radiated</i> off of him. Prickling my skin. But Dimme's voice snapped in my head. Ordering me faster. Faster. FASTER.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>"You useless, little fuck. Do you WANT to go back on The Table? FASTER, SHITSTAIN!"</i></div>
<br />
<br />
A dark chuckle broke through my thoughts<span style="font-size: small;">... and searing-hot<span style="font-size: small;">, line-less hand<span style="font-size: small;">s snapped closed around my wrists.<span style="font-size: small;"> Yanking me close - pulling my arms wide so our chests nearly touched. The <span style="font-size: small;">sheer HEAT of that inner furnace seemed ho<span style="font-size: small;">tter sti<span style="font-size: small;">ll. F<span style="font-size: small;">lashing across my skin in d<span style="font-size: small;">isori<span style="font-size: small;">enting</span></span> waves as his grip<span style="font-size: small;"> turned painfully hot aga<span style="font-size: small;">inst <span style="font-size: small;">my skin</span></span>. That searing<span style="font-size: small;"> hold <span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">nearly <span style="font-size: small;">lifting me right</span></span> off my feet as he smiled into my snarl. Ignoring me even as I thrashed <span style="font-size: small;">to pull free<span style="font-size: small;">. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">He ti<span style="font-size: small;">sk<span style="font-size: small;">-tasked me. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">Not for attack<span style="font-size: small;">ing.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">But for my <span style="font-size: small;">weapon.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">As <span style="font-size: small;">if to put a <span style="font-size: small;">period at the end of his sentence to show his own displeasure over it, <span style="font-size: small;">h</span></span></span>e cranked my arm sharply - pain <span style="font-size: small;">splitting up my lim<span style="font-size: small;">b <span style="font-size: small;">as t</span></span></span>he slim s<span style="font-size: small;">witchblade f<span style="font-size: small;">ell<span style="font-size: small;"> from my grip<span style="font-size: small;"> to the g<span style="font-size: small;">round at my feet. Th<span style="font-size: small;">e</span> <span style="font-size: small;">fire<span style="font-size: small;"> that he c</span>arried within him - that radiated FROM him - rose even hotter<span style="font-size: small;"> until it began to<span style="font-size: small;"> su<span style="font-size: small;">c</span>k the air <span style="font-size: small;">right out of my lungs. </span></span></span></span></span>The in<span style="font-size: small;">t<span style="font-size: small;">ensity of i<span style="font-size: small;">t coiling around me <span style="font-size: small;">like a boa. Stealing breath. Stealin<span style="font-size: small;">g t<span style="font-size: small;">houg<span style="font-size: small;">ht. Making my throat<span style="font-size: small;"> scratch and my eyes water<span style="font-size: small;">...</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">He spoke <span style="font-size: small;">slowly. Purp<span style="font-size: small;">ose<span style="font-size: small;">ly. <span style="font-size: small;">Taking his time. <span style="font-size: small;">Making sure I <span style="font-size: small;">rec<span style="font-size: small;">eived a f<span style="font-size: small;">ull <span style="font-size: small;">appreciation </span></span></span>for the inf<span style="font-size: small;">erno barely <span style="font-size: small;">contained behind that human appearance. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">Th<span style="font-size: small;">at <span style="font-size: small;">damn smile of his only growing as a strange <span style="font-size: small;">weight s<span style="font-size: small;">p<span style="font-size: small;">read out from his grip on my left<span style="font-size: small;"> arm. <span style="font-size: small;">Enveloping</span> it. S<span style="font-size: small;">ettling into a form so very familiar.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"> That voice <span style="font-size: small;">t</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span>elling me how I really shouldn't mess with a good thing. How my gauntlet suited me so much better than any knife could. That <span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">I</span>t <i><span style="font-size: small;">w</span>as</i> <span style="font-size: small;">Me. And I was It. <span style="font-size: small;">One in the same...</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">How <span style="font-size: small;">The Job <span style="font-size: small;">doesn't come off just because I want it to.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">Even <span style="font-size: small;">a</span>s I <span style="font-size: small;">bore down <span style="font-size: small;">t<span style="font-size: small;">o stand the waves<span style="font-size: small;"> of heat... </span></span></span>m</span>etal<span style="font-size: small;"> was suddenly <span style="font-size: small;">buckl<span style="font-size: small;">ing</span> <span style="font-size: small;">to<span style="font-size: small;">gether up to my e<span style="font-size: small;">l<span style="font-size: small;">bow<span style="font-size: small;"> and my fingers became<span style="font-size: small;"> </span>blades once more.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span> Everything fitting as it should. There was no questioning it <span style="font-size: small;">had become my signature weapon <span style="font-size: small;">over the years... but, in that moment<span style="font-size: small;">... I didn't want to wear it. I wanted it OFF. As if re<span style="font-size: small;">jecting IT was as logical a way as <span style="font-size: small;">any to reject the Snake...</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">It fel<span style="font-size: small;">t too heavy.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">Too tight.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">Too HOT.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">And it only gr<span style="font-size: small;">ew hotter still. The flesh sizzling beneath the metal like <span style="font-size: small;">b<span style="font-size: small;">acon in a frying pan. I thrashing to pull out of that grip... but I might <span style="font-size: small;">as well have been pu<span style="font-size: small;">lling against a damn w<span style="font-size: small;">all. Nothing budged... it only got tighter. The <span style="font-size: small;">presence hotter. Until I could s<span style="font-size: small;">me<span style="font-size: small;">ll burnt fl<span style="font-size: small;">esh. Until <span style="font-size: small;">my knees threatened to buckle from the pain as the ne<span style="font-size: small;">w</span>ly-arriv<span style="font-size: small;">ed gauntlet amplified the<span style="font-size: small;"> heat even more. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span>The
metal melting from it. Caressing my flesh. Searing it. Fusing it. My
arm - my body - trembling against the pain as I continued to struggle in
vain. Eyes screwed shut. Teeth biting down on my tongue - tasting
blood. I wouldn't scream. I. Wouldn't. Scream. Not for this. Not for
this FUCKING---<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">I cursed him.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">I
cursed him to Hell and back again a million times over. Spitting on his
ego and grinding my heel into his superiority complex. Snarling that he
was but a MAGGOT amongst the ants on the corpse of the planet. Father's
Plan<span style="font-size: small;">et. Snarling that <span style="font-size: small;">he wasn't even a<span style="font-size: small;"> Snake. Not even a <span style="font-size: small;">Weasel. Just a cockr<span style="font-size: small;">oach riding on <span style="font-size: small;">Dearest Daddy</span>'s coattai<span style="font-size: small;">ls. That he was a joke. An insult t<span style="font-size: small;">o the on<span style="font-size: small;">ly Gods that ma<span style="font-size: small;">tter in this Game.</span></span></span> That it wasn't his wor<span style="font-size: small;">ld. His Game. That he was just another pawn on the board... one that could be removed just l<span style="font-size: small;">ike any other.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">I swore a hand in his demise.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">Th<span style="font-size: small;">rough teeth clenched so tight that my jaw ached... </span>I swore I'd kill him.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">He looked about ready to start laughing.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">He <span style="font-size: small;">questioned how. Claiming that killing him would be <span style="font-size: small;">like attempting to kill the weather. Kill<span style="font-size: small;"> the heat of a summer's day. Suggesting <span style="font-size: small;">that I ne<span style="font-size: small;">ed<span style="font-size: small;">ed to rethink my approach. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>"Even Father bleeds, you... arrogant little FUCK. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>Or are... you
claiming to be above even Him? </i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>That's blasphemy, you know... </i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>Might have to... wash your mouth out with soap. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>Or maybe throw you into a... Freezer for a
while. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>Let you</i> cool off<i>. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>Don't mistake me as one of your...
shallow-minded Bitches, Valtiel.</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>Everything has a weakness. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>You found mine.</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>It's only fair... that I return the favor."</i></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i><b>"Sam.</b></i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i><b>Dear, sweet Sam.</b></i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i><b>Father does not Bleed. </b></i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i><b>He cannot
be hurt. </b></i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i><b>I am cut from the same... Cloth. </b></i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i><b>I don't bleed. I don't draw
breath... </b></i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i><b>I am not as fragile as you pieces of barely sentient dirt are. </b></i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i><b>All things beneath the realm of Gods have a weakness. </b></i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i><b>Expect no such
thing from truly perfect beings like myself."</b></i></div>
<br />
<br />
I
told him... to speak as divinely as he wanted. To set himself up on a
throne of blood and gold for all I cared. That it would be that much
sweeter when I RIP him from it. When I see the fear stir in Amber Eyes
as control is torn from his hands. That everything DID have a weakness,
and he was no goddamn exception. That words spoken with a forked-tongue
tend to lose their charm.<br />
<br />
I snarled that that he
couldn't have him. WOULDN'T have him. That Leo wouldn't follow me. That I
wouldn't allow it. That there are many things worse than death... and
this life was one of them. Whether that life was the "Chosen" life of a
Proxy... or the Haunted life of a Runner... it didn't matter. It all
came to the same thing. Either which way, you fall apart. Piece by
piece. Bit by bit. Until you're not but a shadow of who you once were.<br />
<br />
Be The Nightmare.<br />
<br />
Or Live It.<br />
<br />
In the end, we suffer the same.<br />
<br />
But Leo will never know it.<br />
<br />
I promised Valtiel that.<br />
<br />
I promised... that, if it was the last godforsaken thing I did, Leo would stay Out.<br />
<br />
Valtiel's
unpleasantly pleasant smile grew to a grin... wishing me luck with
that... and the scorching heat of my gauntlet suddenly tripled.
Completely fusing it to my arm as a scream tore through my clenched
teeth... and I was dropped to the ground. Leaving me gasping in pain at
his feet before he turned and walked away. Telling me how I had always
been an amusing little Toy. Telling me to make sure that I... put on a
Good Show... before he disappeared behind the single tree. Leaving me
alone in the burning agony that still scorched up my arm...<br />
<br />
Alone except for Alex's corpse.<br />
<br />
I got rid of it.<br />
<br />
Buried it.<br />
<br />
I refused to burn it, considering the circumstances.<br />
<br />
It took me nearly a day to dig the hole... but at least it was a grave.<br />
<br />
Unmarked, but a grave, nevertheless.<br />
<br />
One loose end cut off.<br />
<br />
All that was left to do... was cut off the other one.Nightscreamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08241679908254552393noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3626790529497436404.post-69606353541017547032012-11-27T22:02:00.000-08:002013-01-05T16:15:12.035-08:00Goodbye To A Good Friend. Part 9.The sheer relief of being remembered...<br />
<br />
The blessed pain that flooded through my chest...<br />
<br />
It made my feet move before I'd even thought of it. Rushing me towards the
sprinting boy - leaving the Divide behind - and bending me down low at the
last instant. Knees settling onto chilled grass as Leo's arm snapped
closed around my neck with a strength far beyond his years. Locking me
in as my own arms came around him. Wrapping tightly around the small
body. Enveloping him. Rubbing his back and stroking his hair at a
pointless attempt at comfort as strained words of disbelief and relief,
pain and joy, flowed out of the boy. His entire frame - fit and a good
size for his age - trembling as he tried so hard to keep the sobs back.
To be strong.<br />
<br />
Just hearing him speak tore at me right down to my core.<br />
<br />
When
I'd left him... sentences were only just beginning to make sense. Then,
to be holding him so close and hear the solid proof of his maturing
mind... the solid proof of all I'd missed... all that someone else - a
stranger - had helped him improve and grow...<br />
<br />
It was a hard hit to take.<br />
<br />
I
found myself praying to those those years. Even as an outsider. Even as
just a shadow in the night... I just wanted to KNOW what he'd gone
through. I wanted to know about the people who were raising my little
man. I wanted to know every highlight of every day. Every drop of rain
on every bad one. I wanted to know it all. All the things he'd learned
about... while I'd walked through fresh blood pooling on the sidewalk
under a dim moon with my ravens flying overhead.<br />
<br />
Then, such a silly thought...<br />
<br />
<i>(The training wheels on your bike must have come off a while ago now...)</i><br />
<br />
It
doesn't take much effort to remember what his first bike had been. It
was a Birthday Present. Blue with little... cartoon characters along the
bars. Previously used ("Previously Loved" as my mother would have
said.). Once belonging to the son of the daughter of one of my parents'
best friends. Alex and I were... a young couple at the time. Just
starting out. Money was tight. Better than it had been when Leo was
first born, but we were still having to pinch every penny. That year had
been particularly bad because the car had broken down a month or so
beforehand and had cost nearly a thousand to put back on the road.
Buying a new bike for our son just... wasn't in the cards.<br />
<br />
I'd
been worried at the time... that the touch-up job we did on the chips
on the paint weren't good enough. That it didn't look new enough. That
Leo would be disappointed...<br />
<br />
If he'd been disappointed, that toothy grin of his hadn't let it on. He barely got off it the first day...<br />
<br />
I
remember how Alex had nudged me at the time. Wearing that "Told You
So!" smile. Teasing me about how I always think too much...<br />
<br />
Just
thinking of Alex.... made me hold Leo just a bit tighter. Still gentle,
but tighter. Protective. Whispering little assurances to him as he
tried to hold back sobs. Telling me how much he'd missed me. How he
couldn't believe I was really there. That he thought I was never coming
back. His grip on my neck only getting tighter as if he was honestly
afraid... that I'd drift away if he didn't hold me down. Anchoring me...
even as my mind drifted back to the mental hospital without my
permission. Going back to that split second in time... when I'd been
bringing my blade down. A split second... that my mind insists it saw
Alex's head move on the pillow. Turning. Staring up at me. Dull eyes
dark and accusing...<br />
<br />
I had tried to tell myself it had
just been my imagination. Reasoning that Alex hadn't answered the door
for three long years and it was a bad gamble... to think that "choice"
would change in that very last instant. That it would having that
perfect of timing... to haunt me like it wanted to...<br />
<br />
I think too much.<br />
<br />
I always think too much.<br />
<br />
It's part of the reason why my bloody post become novels...<br />
<br />
And,
if I had continued on the thought I was on... the Snake was waiting
just around the corner. Amber Eyes just a flicker away from jarring my
mind. It would have thrown me back into logic. It would have slapped me
into remembering which side of the boundary I belonged... but, at that
instant... Leo asked a question. His voice hitching and hesitating as
though afraid of the answer, but needing one. Just one question... and
there wasn't a train of thought in the world that it wouldn't have
demolished on the spot.<br />
<br />
He asked... if it had been something he had done...<br />
<br />
Something... he'd done wrong...<br />
<br />
That made us leave him.<br />
<br />
He asked if it was his fault... that we didn't want to be his Mum and Dad anymore.<br />
<br />
And,
even as he asked.... his grip on me tightened. The fear and pain and
doubt and guilt in his voice matching with the desperation of small
hands gripping the material of my hoodie as tightly as he could. Afraid
to let go even a little. The silent plea screaming loud and painfully
clear:<br />
<br />
<i>(Please don't leave me alone again!)</i><br />
<br />
Panic
gripped me. I took his shoulders and eased him out of the death grip he
had on me. He still wasn't willing to let go completely, but he allowed
enough give to let me look into those eyes. Shimmering with unshed
tears... but still trying so hard not to break as he waited for his
answer. Shame twisted into his expression as a sob escaped the hold he
had on himself...<br />
<br />
He blamed himself.<br />
<br />
I had left - Alex and I had both left him - and, for three years, he'd been blaming himself.<br />
<br />
It killed me.<br />
<br />
I
gently put my hand to his face. My thumb brushing across a dry cheek...
even as I felt a tear trace down my own. Forcing enough strength into
my voice so it didn't shake when I told him that there was nothing -
NOTHING - he could have ever done that would have made us leave. Telling
him that it wasn't his fault. Not even a little bit. That Alex and I
loved him more than anything in this world... but that... I'd done
something bad. Very bad. And I couldn't be around him anymore. That he'd
get hurt... and I'd never be able to forgive myself. I told him how
sorry I was. For everything. For not being there. For letting him blame
himself for so long...<br />
<br />
I told him it was my fault.<br />
<br />
That it had always been my fault.<br />
<br />
That, if he wanted someone to blame, he should blame me.<br />
<br />
That it was okay to be angry. Okay to be sad or upset. That I'd let him down and I deserved it.<br />
<br />
I told him... that he could hate me if he wanted to.<br />
<br />
But that, even if he did, I'd always love him. Always. No matter what.<br />
<br />
Leo
had been crying freely by then - as if seeing mine gave him permission
to let the tears come. Spilling over his cheeks in small rivers even as <i>he</i> told<i> me</i>
not to cry. That everything was okay and that he'd just... missed me.
Missed me so much. Just like I'd missed him. Feeling it more freely and
honestly than I'd ever allowed myself to feel over the past years. Not
having Leo... had been a deep, empty pit in my life... that I'd thrown
some branches and leaves over top of in attempt to hide it from prying
eyes... but still tunneled down deeper than anything else, regardless.<br />
<br />
I'd been able to live with that hole.<br />
<br />
I
became good at picking and choosing my words. Playing on them... until I
could say things in a way that everyone would assume my family was
dead. My spouse. My son. It meant I could talk about them. Keep them
close in that way... and, because I was willing to talk, it confirmed
even further that they couldn't be alive. It was a form of reverse
psychology. For, surely, if they were anything but dead... I would avoid
the topic like the plague.<br />
<br />
It worked for three years.<br />
<br />
I'd lived with it for three years.<br />
<br />
But then, with my son in my arms, I couldn't say for the life of me how I'd been able to.<br />
<br />
It scared me. It still does.<br />
<br />
The strength of the bond that came back.<br />
<br />
It
was too much to bear at first. I'd felt it in my chest like an old,
partly-seized motor was being pulled to life in the dead of winter. The
engine stuttering and stalling. Stuttering and stalling. Forced to work
against the climate and condition it was in until it finally caught.
Holding only for two beats... then stalling again. Another try.
Catching, stuttering, then stalling once more. Repeating the process...
only, this time, the engine caught and held. Struggling to stay alive,
but managing now. Painfully warming parts that had almost frozen solid
completely. Every second that it turned another rotation being another
reminder for old, weather-beaten metal of what it once felt like to be
warm... to be used and maintained...<br />
<br />
It hurt so much.<br />
<br />
Like heat working into blackened, frost-bitten fingers.<br />
<br />
But
it... was a good pain. One I didn't mind feeling. One that felt good to
feel after so long... so long of only seeing people as pawns and
knights and bishops. All part of one Big Game where the Pieces delude
themselves into thinking they're Players. It isn't our Game. It never
has been. Yet we try to manoeuvre things in our favor anyway. We try to
make it all Lead to something... anything... because a life without a
goal is a rather pointless thing indeed, isn't it?<br />
<br />
I suppose that was part of why I could be content in my roles... while so many others were restless. Stressed. Panicked.<br />
<br />
Secretly, I knew Alex was in a mental hospital. Receiving care. Not ideal, but a gift horse.<br />
<br />
And I knew Leo had a new family to call his own. That he could be happy in his second chance...<br />
<br />
So,
with those two points checked off.... I could let them fade to the
background. I could let them rest where they lay... and let myself find
my pace on my side of the Boundary. Let myself relax into who I was. Who
I was becoming. To find amusement. Beauty. Satisfaction. Even a new
sense of Happiness. Starting out by finding one little thing that I
could enjoy about the Job... and letting it grow from there until it
became a performance. Until the Hunt was the Grandest Show on Earth...
just waiting for the final conclusion.<br />
<br />
Curtain Close.<br />
<br />
Play End Credits.<br />
<br />
Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-That's all, folks!<br />
<br />
And that had been enough. That was okay.<br />
<br />
Because, behind the scenes, my son was safe... and Alex was alive...<br />
<br />
But,
holding Leo close, I knew it had never really been okay... and
definitely wasn't going to come within a shade close of that anytime
soon.<br />
<br />
Leo asked me to come home.<br />
<br />
Pleading with me not to leave again. That he... loved me.<br />
<br />
I
had to force a small smile out. My hands falling to his shoulders and
giving them a light squeeze as a second tear rolled over my opposite
cheek. Giving me a pair. So much inside wanted to say yes... but I still
shook my head. Telling him that I loved him more than anything -
ANYTHING - in the world. That I'd do whatever I had to in order to keep
him safe... and that was why I couldn't stay. I told him how I wished
things were different. How I wished... I hadn't screwed up... but that
was on me. That was my fault and mine alone... <br />
<br />
And I
had to watch... my son break. His voice gaining that young, squeaky tone
that he'd been fighting to hold back as a dam of emotions collapsed
within him. Screaming "NO!" over and over again as he latched back
around my neck. Begging me to stay. Begging me not to... not to leave
him alone again. Screaming "please". Telling me I couldn't. That I
couldn't do this again. Sobbing through his pleas. Tears streaming down.<br />
<br />
He was too young.<br />
<br />
I knew that.<br />
<br />
Only seven.<br />
<br />
I
hugged him close one final time. Reminding him that he wasn't alone.
Reminding him... that he had a new family. I asked if he liked them. My
own words catching as I asked if they... treated him right.<br />
<br />
<i>(Or, so help me, God...)</i><br />
<br />
He
spoke through his sobs. Nodding. Saying they were nice and that he
loved them too... but they weren't me. They weren't Alex. They weren't
his Mum and Dad. Not really. He cried into my shoulder. Sobbing that
they could never be his Mum and Dad and that... that was why we had to
come home...<br />
<br />
Then his sobbing consumed him completely.<br />
<br />
Clinging tightly to me as each one shook through him.<br />
<br />
I
felt suddenly conscious of eyes on me... and, in my mind's eye, I knew
they were Amber. I remembered. I remembered the Boundary. I remembered
turning my back on The Snake...<br />
<br />
He'd been watching the whole time.<br />
<br />
I
felt myself stiffening, but I knew the damage was already done. Forcing
myself to keep my focus on my boy instead. My voice sounding stronger
to my ears as I told Leo... that he was better off without me. That I
knew he was too young to understand that, but, one day, he would. It was
then that a thought occurred to me... and I reached to feel for
something around my neck. Finding the slim chain that I'd put there the
previous evening. A chain that Alex had worn for the past three years
while lying in that hospital. A chain I had thought to wear myself, but
now had another idea. I pulled it over my head... and showed the three
rings that were threaded onto it to my boy.<br />
<br />
An engagement ring.<br />
<br />
And two wedding rings. His and Hers.<br />
<br />
I
told Leo what they were. How Alex and I had loved each other very much.
Just like we both loved him. And I told him... that wanted him to take
them and remember that. If it was the only thing he remembered, he <i>needed</i> to remember that...<br />
<br />
He
nodded. Choking out an "okay" as he took the rings with a
purposefulness that seemed out of place for such a young boy. I knew he
wouldn't lose them. That much was made perfectly clear to even the
universe itself...<br />
<br />
I shifted. Placing a kiss to my son's forehead.<br />
<br />
I told him to be happy.<br />
<br />
It's all I ever wanted from him.<br />
<br />
Then
I stood - pulling from the hold he still had on me - and turned.
Walking away. Not trusting myself to pause... and yet the tears still
came even as my strides tore us apart.<br />
<br />
He screamed
after me. Voice ragged and piercing. Panicked. Desperate. I knew he'd be
rushing after me... but he wouldn't get far. Someone would intervene. I
knew.<br />
<br />
Just like I knew... Valtiel was waiting for me at the corner of the school.Nightscreamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08241679908254552393noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3626790529497436404.post-67338954306248870882012-11-18T07:38:00.000-08:002012-11-28T17:16:44.560-08:00Goodbye To A Good Friend. Part 8.<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">I</span>t wasn't the last time I saw Valtiel either. <span style="font-size: small;">He came to me for a second time not long after I'd killed Dimme<span style="font-size: small;">. And then again a while later. And again a while later after that. Always</span></span></span> appearing the same way as the first time. The voice existing first. Then the body seeming to follow afte<span style="font-size: small;">r that.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">I told Winston how he'd<span style="font-size: small;"> ask me to do little jobs f<span style="font-size: small;">or him. Stupid l<span style="font-size: small;">ittle things<span style="font-size: small;"> that he claimed would some<span style="font-size: small;">how start a Domino effect<span style="font-size: small;"> <span style="font-size: small;">for som<span style="font-size: small;">e other Game he was playing at.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">I told him <span style="font-size: small;">about when</span> </span></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">Va<span style="font-size: small;">ltiel</span></span> asked me to shoot the local mailman</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">I told him about when </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">I</span> was to throw a brick through <span style="font-size: small;">a specific window at a certain addr<span style="font-size: small;">ess.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">I even <span style="font-size: small;">told him about the time when Valtiel told me to buy my groceries at <span style="font-size: small;">a certain s<span style="font-size: small;">tore. That was it. Just buy them and leave.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">Sometimes, he hadn't wanted anything at all. Nothing more than to talk<span style="font-size: small;">, in any case.</span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span> </span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">I started<span style="font-size: small;"> getting more comfortable around <span style="font-size: small;">The Snake as time went on. I started calling him "V<span style="font-size: small;">ivi"<span style="font-size: small;"> instead of "Valtiel"<span style="font-size: small;"> - a<span style="font-size: small;">t</span> first simply to see if it bothered him<span style="font-size: small;">, but, when</span> <span style="font-size: small;">i</span>t didn't, I kept on using it <span style="font-size: small;">anyway. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span>I
preferred it. Kali and Loki never particularly enjoyed his visits - and
that was something I took keen note of - but he never bothered with
them. Never questioned why I had them. Why I raised Loki from a chick
even as I'd been scrubbing the blood from my hands each night. In fact,
he questioned little of what I did or why. Just so long as I did my Job,
I suppose he thought it didn't matter.<br />
<br />
Now and again, just before he'd leave, he'd stop and ask who I was.<br />
<br />
From the very first time, I always knew what to say. <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>"I am His Humble Servant. Nothing more."</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><i>"Good Child."</i></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
It was the reason I trusted him.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
The
reason I ignored my instincts when they screamed at me that things
weren't lining up right. That something was wrong. That I wasn't Seeing
something... and that, by the time I did, it would be too late. He had
interfered before. He had <i>helped</i> before. I knew there had to be a reason behind it. Something more than just his amusement...</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Beneath the slapping tin from the storm, I told Winston... that he wasn't the only one guilty of hubris in this mess.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I am as well. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
For
I thought all of this... his very reason for helping me... was because
he had a plan FOR me. One that was far less than ideal. Far less than
anything I would come out alive from. But for ME, nevertheless.
Something I wouldn't turn down... simply because debt runs deep. Because
he warned me so I could protect my family. Because he reminded the
Highers there were bigger matters at hand than one little Proxy killing
off their Handler...</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
But it had never been for me.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I see that now.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I
doubt if he knew what Ends would be met at the very Beginning... but
somehow he'd known that I was worth keeping an eye on. Worth fixing a
little thing here and a little thing there as time went on. Worth
waiting to see... but not necessarily FOR me, in the end.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
It was for my line. My bloodline.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I
had... recognized the Man In The Rain. The one who had watched me from
under his umbrella with sorrowed eyes as I left the mental hospital with
blood on my hands. My spouse's blood. I recognized him, because he
looked exactly the same as he had the first time we met. The afternoon
that he'd given me a warning. A warning that I... that I hadn't heeded.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I
knew something was wrong. Very wrong. I knew I'd made a horrible
mistake. Somehow, something got twisted. I didn't know how, but I knew
something very important had changed. I tried to reassure myself that I
was being paranoid, but it didn't matter. That feeling kept gnawing at
me until, in all my irrationality, I only wanted one thing.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Leo.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I had to see Leo.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I thought that... if I could see him... if I could just <i>see</i>
that he was okay and exactly where he should be... that I could prove
my own instincts wrong. That it would stop and I could move on. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I jumped states through The Path. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Once
on the other side, I tore off my gauntlet. My hoodie. My mask.
Everything. Changing into a simple hoodie and jeans I'd brought... and
then I tucked my things behind a dumpster just a block or so from the
school. Leo's School. I slipped a switchblade into my pocket as a
just-in-case. Just in case of what, however, I wouldn't have been able
to say. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I
closed the distance fast - all too aware that I shouldn't be there at
all - and snuck around the back of the building. Despite the "normal"
clothes I wore, habit kept me to the shadows. Then I peaked around the
side. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
They were on recess.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I scanned the faces. Wondering what he'd looked like now. Wondering how three years had changed him. Wondering if I'd even <i>recognize </i>him...
when, just like that, he was there. Playing on the monkey bars amongst a
few other children. Hanging upside down as he laughed and yelled
something at one of the others. That unruly head of hair I'd given him
looking ever-more wild as it reached for the ground. He giggled and
grabbed the bars again - unthreading his legs and doing a complete
flip-around through his own arms. Landing on the ground with the
rattling of loose gravel before he was tearing off running after another
boy who also started to run. Laughing. Yo-yoing back and forth amongst
the playground equipment and other kids - younger and older - in what
looked like a game of tag. Others followed those two. Obviously involved
as well.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>"My God..."</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I
watched them for I don't know how long. Mesmerized. My forehead resting
against the brick corner of the school. I watched the game change from
tag to hide and seek... which dissolved into Scare The Girls With A
Grass Snake when one of the boys found it while Seeking. Which in itself
dissolved when it turned out one of the girls actually had a thing for
snakes and "rescued" it from the boy. So then everyone gathered around
the girl to get a look at it. To pet it. The girl purposely keeping it
away from one boy in particular because, and I heard her when she
screeched, that he'd hurt it.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I watched.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
And felt a slender arm curl around my shoulders.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I
snapped back and spun... only to drop those same two words again with
entirely different context. Nerves strained as I bit back those few
seconds of panic that had gripped me. My guard had been down... and
then, standing right next to me... was Alex. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
A bright smile.<br />
<br />
Paired with burning, Amber Eyes.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Body thin and pale.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
A
horrific neck wound congealed with dark blood. Cut right through to the
spine which made it a wonder that the head didn't just fall off...<br />
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b><i><br /></i></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><i>"Little Leo is growing up so fast, don't you think, Sam?"</i></b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br />
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">I bit my lip. So many<span style="font-size: small;"> remarks danced on the edge of my tongue, but I kept them back. Held them back. <span style="font-size: small;">I forced a solid breath to <span style="font-size: small;">ease my raised nerves<span style="font-size: small;">. <span style="font-size: small;">F<span style="font-size: small;">orced my fists out of the clench<span style="font-size: small;"> I'd had them in before re<span style="font-size: small;">forming it. Fee<span style="font-size: small;">ling my knuckles crack <span style="font-size: small;">with the motion. I<span style="font-size: small;"> said <span style="font-size: small;">he certainly was. <span style="font-size: small;">Not trusting myself to s<span style="font-size: small;">ay more.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">The Snake's smile gr<span style="font-size: small;">ew as he</span> asked if there was <span style="font-size: small;">something wrong<span style="font-size: small;">. Commenting that <span style="font-size: small;">I looked as though I'd "<span style="font-size: small;">seen a ghost<span style="font-size: small;">" <span style="font-size: small;">with a laugh <span style="font-size: small;">in his voice </span></span>before the corpse closed the single ste<span style="font-size: small;">p that I <span style="font-size: small;">ha<span style="font-size: small;">d created </span></span>between us<span style="font-size: small;">. Arms<span style="font-size: small;"> slipping around my wa<span style="font-size: small;">ist<span style="font-size: small;">. Coiling around. Forc<span style="font-size: small;">ing me into an embrace that broug<span style="font-size: small;">ht a shiver down my <span style="font-size: small;">s<span style="font-size: small;">pine. I <span style="font-size: small;">clear<span style="font-size: small;">ed</span> my throat to hide the glitch before forcing out a smile against that <span style="font-size: small;">Snake Grin. I told him it was nothing. Nothing at all. Raising a hand to <span style="font-size: small;">li<span style="font-size: small;">ghtly brush <span style="font-size: small;">dull, lifeless hair away from A<span style="font-size: small;">mber E<span style="font-size: small;">yes<span style="font-size: small;">.</span> </span></span></span></span></span>M<span style="font-size: small;">y will to complete the<span style="font-size: small;"> Show overrul<span style="font-size: small;">i<span style="font-size: small;">ng the hesitation that threaten<span style="font-size: small;">ed to hold back my arm<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"> from the action.<span style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">Admitting on<span style="font-size: small;">ly that Vivi caught me a bit by surprise<span style="font-size: small;">. That I hadn't been expe<span style="font-size: small;">cting company.<span style="font-size: small;">..</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">That seem<span style="font-size: small;">ed to ple<span style="font-size: small;">ase him. His coils releasing as he stepped <span style="font-size: small;">back<span style="font-size: small;">. His own hand lifting to idly play <span style="font-size: small;">with the hanging flesh <span style="font-size: small;">of the <span style="font-size: small;">neck wou<span style="font-size: small;">nd. Giving himse<span style="font-size: small;">lf a figua<span style="font-size: small;">tive pat on the back while</span></span><span style="font-size: small;"> he commented how <span style="font-size: small;">his... "dear little Raven" <span style="font-size: small;">is usually so hard to surprise. I found it hard to keep my eye <span style="font-size: small;">away from <span style="font-size: small;">the motion of the fi<span style="font-size: small;">ngers... explo<span style="font-size: small;">ring their bod<span style="font-size: small;">y's own <span style="font-size: small;">fetal injury. I've seen a lot of things in my time<span style="font-size: small;">, and yet...</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>"It... has been a bit of an odd day." </i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<b><i>"What's the matter, Sam? </i></b></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<b><i>Did you think I was
going to go kill little Leo to complete the set? </i></b></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<b><i>Your son isn't in any
danger. So why are you here?"</i></b></div>
<br />
<br />
I didn't know. <br />
<br />
I
stood on a boundary between Our World and the Norms... and I didn't
know what had brought me there. At my back, I could still hear the
sounds of the children playing their games. Joyful. Oblivious. Safe.
And, in front of me... was an Amber Eyed Snake in the form of my
nearly-decapitated spouse. Toying with the tattered flesh across its
neck. Smiling that unpleasantly pleasant smile.<br />
<br />
No, I didn't believe even in that moment that he wanted to kill Leo.<br />
<br />
But something was screaming.<br />
<br />
Something was screaming... that I'd missed a key point <br />
<br />
That I'd fucked up.<br />
<br />
But I didn't know how. Leo was fine. He was playing with the other kids. He was <i>fine</i>...<br />
<br />
And, yet... not a cell within my body believed that.<br />
<br />
I told this to Valtiel. Explaining that it was... a feeling. A gnawing feeling that refused to leave me... <br />
<br />
And then I heard a voice.<br />
<br />
Just... a single, soft, questioning voice...<br />
<br />
And everything changed.<br />
<br />
That
boundary... changed. Suddenly, I was on the other side of that line.
Pulled over it... and thrown back into the world I'd left behind when I
saw Father for the first time. A place where monsters didn't exist...
except when nurtured in the hearts of normal, everyday humans.<br />
<br />
Hearts... like mine.<br />
<br />
I
was the monster there. The worst kind that world knew... but... but
that wasn't... all I was. Not to all of them. To most, yes. To most,
they'd avoid my gaze at all costs. To most, they'd want to lock me up
and throw away the key - leaving me to rot. To most... they might want
to warm up Old Sparky and flip the switch themselves... but to one... to
one boy with a head of untameable hair and dearest of blue eyes...<br />
<br />
To
him, I was...a face he'd never expected to see again. One that...
almost surely should have been replaced over the last three years by the
faces of his new mum and dad. One that... I was sure... he wouldn't
recognize anymore...<br />
<br />
never did i think he'd remember<br />
<br />
never<br />
<br />
he'd been four years old when I... left him behind. How could I ever hope...?<br />
<br />
I
thought... I'd stopping being a parent a long time ago. That only
the... instinct remained. The parental bond to protect ones young at the
most basic level. If you would have asked a few months ago, I would
have smiled and explained that the rest had rotted away in the
cesspool...<br />
<br />
But... that questioning voice...<br />
<br />
he called out to me<br />
<br />
Disbelief,
confusion, and frustration were torn across that young face... but, the
second our eyes met, the disbelief flooded over top of everything else.
Dominating it over as... as his name fell from my lips without even my
realizing it. He heard me. I could see it register in as he tripped over
his own voice - calling out again before he took a step forward. Then
another. Then another. Quickening. Running. Sprinting. Calling again.
Desperation cutting into the voice. Expression near panic as if... as if
he feared I was little more than a mirage...<br />
<br />
For a
split second, logic gripped me... and screamed to BE a mirage. To
disappear into thin air and never look back. Screaming that I shouldn't
be there. That it was wrong. Riskly. <i>Dangerous</i>...<br />
<br />
But
it didn't matter. The desperation I heard my boy yell out with...
clawed down deep into me. An <span style="font-size: small;">eruption</span> in my chest that overruled the
scream. The Soldier's Fear of being Seen... whipped clear off the
board... by something I thought I'd lost.<br />
<br />
He hadn't forgotten me.<br />
<br />
I hadn't been replaced. <br />
<br />
I wasn't<i> just </i>a monster.<br />
<br />
In that moment, it was barely a part of me.<br />
<br />
I was a parent again.<br />
<br />
I... was Leo's<span style="font-size: small;">... I...</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">I... can't do this <span style="font-size: small;">yet</span>. </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">Not <span style="font-size: small;">to<span style="font-size: small;">night.</span></span></span></span><br />
<br />Nightscreamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08241679908254552393noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3626790529497436404.post-88379684977942418022012-11-15T23:23:00.000-08:002012-11-28T17:05:12.244-08:00Goodbye To A Good Friend. Part 7.<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">And
I bolted upright in the bed of a little one-roomer hotel room. Drenched
in a cold sweat and breathing hard, I fought to figure out where I was.
Fought back the screaming that pounded in my head. Fought back the
images that seemed<i> burned</i> in my vision. I remember thinking that I could still smell it. The burnt flesh. Owen's burnt flesh. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: small;">At first, there was only panic in me... but then something else kicked in. Something that seem<span style="font-size: small;">ed to ease into place right under my skin and </span>brought me to my feet in that little hotel room<span style="font-size: small;">. <span style="font-size: small;">My feet bringing me</span></span> to the single window<span style="font-size: small;"> that stared</span>
out across the small city. And, like a ghost caught in another realm, I
could see my refection stare back at me over-top of the dark backdrop. I
looked older already... but I also saw something else. I was thinner.<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></span>Eyes sunken in. Heavy bags dragged down my face. Hair limp and tangled<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">. </span></span>I looked like someone who didn't have much longer to go..<span style="font-size: small;">.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">Part of me seemed relieved at that idea.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">But that other part... the one that brought me to my
feet... asked who would look after Leo if not I? Who would stop him from
becoming yet another face in that bloody gore-gathering Valtiel had
shown me? <span style="font-size: small;">Who <span style="font-size: small;">would even care to try?</span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">Besides<span style="font-size: small;">.</span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">That other <span style="font-size: small;">past was also curious.</span> </span> </span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">I had a job to finish. Loose ends weren't an option. Not
if I was going to protect them. Not if I was going to Survive. This
wasn't as simple as just "letting go" anymore. Valtiel had made it clear
that this was a whole other world. An entire Game. One of which I had
absolutely no experience in. No right to even be in. But I was. I was
this "Proxy" that he had mentioned... and, if I had to learn the rules
as I went along, then so be it. I'd figure it out.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">And, eventually, I'd figure out the Answer to the one Question that only ever mattered in my mind.<span style="font-size: small;">..</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">"Why?"</span> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">I picked up the phone.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">There was someone I knew. His name was Victor Reid. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">We went to the same University, you see. Became friends
very early on. The man was, in any definition of the word, brilliant. He
knew too much about <span style="font-size: small;">too many</span> different things,
yet never seemed to get in trouble for any of it. People used to say it
was a dangerous when Vic got bored. 'Cause you never quite knew what
he'd decide to "figure out" next. Everything seemed to come naturally
for him. And that applied twice over when it came to computers.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">Thank God, we'd kept in contact over the years. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">He picked up on the second ring. Sounded like I hauled him out of bed.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">I told him who it was. And that I needed his help. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">We had a long talk. One which I lied far too easily than
what I was used to. I went in length. In detail. Replacing Faceless
Beings with organized crime. Building the story along in my head even as
I was explaining it all. How it came out. How I was being swept into
their world. How I planned to take them down from the inside out, or die
trying...</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">But, first, I needed to protect Alex and Leo.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">I needed to kill them.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">No longer sounding the least bit tired and obviously
nursing some kind of drink by then, he gave a half-attempt to convince
me to go to the cops. But I'd already written off the police in my
little story. It wasn't an option. Even if I hadn't written it out, his
profession would have probably had him realize it wasn't an option
anyway. So, he agreed. He knew w<span style="font-size: small;">here the cracks w<span style="font-size: small;">ere<span style="font-size: small;">.</span></span></span>
He could do it. And he would do it. He was a lawyer now. Bending the
law was nothing new to his daily schedule, as far as he could see.
Especially if it meant helping out an old friend and their family.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">We met up.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">I said he looked good. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">He commented that I looked like shit.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">And, from there, we began to kill off what was left of my
family. Every file that the hospital and police station would have
made... Vic worked out all of it. First, Alex. Then Leo. Then Laura.
Working his way through records. Making adjustments here and there.
Never enough to bring notice of a change from the attentions of those
oh-so-busy workmen... but just enough to make it work. He created a
wall. A place where the records of Alex and Leo just... ended. Ending
with their Death Certificates.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">In reality, we organized a transfer of a comatose patient with no name to a mental institution in another state.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">We also gave a four year old boy a new name... and placed him in an Orphanage in a different state.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">Those paper trails, however, only existed for a short spat of time before they were erased completely.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">By the time it was done, Victor looked like an absolute
wreck. But he assured me... that it was all taken care of. That they
were lost in the system now. That everything should be alright. He
stretched in his chair stiffly before reaching for his cigarettes.
Lighting his before offering me one. Which I took and lit. He suddenly
seemed to have a flashback and recalled that I had quit smoking. Asking
if I was back on the "losing team" again with a touch of humor in his
tone. I smiled a bit. Said I didn't have much of a worry about dying of
cancer anymore<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">.</span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">He nodded <span style="font-size: small;">solemnly</span>. Hu<span style="font-size: small;">mor drying up.<span style="font-size: small;"> O</span></span>bviously thinking that someone like me didn't st<span style="font-size: small;">and much of a chance playing the lead role in the sce<span style="font-size: small;">nario I'd <span style="font-size: small;">told him<span style="font-size: small;">. Figuring me <span style="font-size: small;">half-way dead <span style="font-size: small;">already. Then he</span></span></span></span></span></span> asked if there was anything else he could do for me before I "donned [m<span style="font-size: small;">y]</span> cape and started running around playing the anti-hero."</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">I told him that there was one more thing.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">I pulled a handgun from under my <span style="font-size: small;">hoodie </span>and leveled it.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">He died with his eyes wide open. A hole in between them
and the back of his skull missing. Splattered back across the wall and
computer screen in a mixture of blood, brain, and bone. The body
sprawled backwards - half on his chair, half against the desk<span style="font-size: small;"> -</span> <span style="font-size: small;">a</span>s
if he'd tried to get up at the last second. His muscles twitched for a
scattering of time before they realized there was no one upstairs to
control them anymore. Finally falling still as I silently watched.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">He had a wife and three kids.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">He looked so... surprised.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">I suppose he had right to be. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">I thanked his corpse as I picked up his bourbon bottle.
Emptying its remains over him and the computer. I took one last lungful
of the same po<span style="font-size: small;">ison</span> that had burned through my grandfather's lungs... and, with a <span style="font-size: small;">slight tremble of my</span>
hand, I dropped the flickering end onto the friend I once partied with.
Once got drunk with. Once headed to Canada with (amongst a few others)
for one rather odd, yet wonderfully spontaneous weekend. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">The flames rose.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">The flames of a new life.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">For better or for worse<span style="font-size: small;">.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">And<span style="font-size: small;"> </span>I left.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">Within twenty-four hours, I was picked up on the side of the road by <span style="font-size: small;">three <span style="font-size: small;">armed<span style="font-size: small;"> Proxies</span></span></span> re<span style="font-size: small;">presenting</span> the Organization. They introduced themselves as<span style="font-size: small;"> Darkseeker, Bison, and Bullet<span style="font-size: small;"> Tooth Tony.</span></span> They patted me down. Took my gun. Expressed surprise that that was all I had<span style="font-size: small;">, and then told me to get in. It was a </span><span style="font-size: small;">black Dodge pickup truck with a crew cab and a cap <span style="font-size: small;">over the truckbed</span>. <span style="font-size: small;">I rem<span style="font-size: small;">ember that there were... two bod<span style="font-size: small;">ies</span> back there. Each <span style="font-size: small;">gift-wrapped</span> in a tarp. Tony said it was two birds with one stone.</span></span> Picking up the F<span style="font-size: small;">resh Meat <span style="font-size: small;">while</span> dropping off the Dead Meat. He <span style="font-size: small;">and Bison got quite the lau<span style="font-size: small;">gh<span style="font-size: small;"> at that. Dark, on the other hand, just stared a<span style="font-size: small;">t me. <span style="font-size: small;">Intense, <span style="font-size: small;">v</span>iolet eyes sending<span style="font-size: small;"> a clear message.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>"<span style="font-size: small;">You're just a G<span style="font-size: small;">uppy.</span>"</span></i> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">I was put into the <span style="font-size: small;">S</span>ystem, just as Valtiel had said, and, when asked, I told them that my family was dead.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">The rest is History.</span>Nightscreamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08241679908254552393noreply@blogger.com1