sh u t t e r i ng
and
sh a ki ng
and
s h i v e r i n g
out of control.
there s a storm building. hidden. boiling and itching n crawlingg
beneath the skin
like insecrts. eating you from the inside out. flesh eaters. some humans are flesh eaters too. they eat away. wearing you out. down. crippling. until you feel like youre gon ig to hear an echo when you talk. bouncing off your ribcage into the exxpance of nothing that
only gets
"...Why did he do it?"
worse
the leash like that on me before....
did he think I was just
going to roll over
and play dead?"
rattle
rattle
rattle
screeches and
groans
clawing cries of
timber
and nails
it's all coming apart, isn't it?
"He threatened me.
He threatened my family.
He had to know how I'd react.
It's not like I was a faceless file.
It's not like
he didn't know me.
I was brought into his office several times.
I thought, of all the Highest,
The Author would understand.
Let me do things my way.
The Other Highest
never approved of me.
My attitude.
But The Author was different.
Least I thought he was.
I didn't mean for things to go this far but...
I couldn't
let it happen.
I couldn't let him
HURT them.
You understand,
don't you...?"
pounding. slitting. blistering my skull my m ind theres flashes and twisted of images one on top of the other amonst the RED and white like the stains on Alex's sheets when I
s
w
u
n
g
and it went thud. then
nothing.
just dead eyes and red on white on red on...
but Jo is here. Jo understands. he has always understood me. always known what i was thinking. what i was feeling. he's always been there for me. he's my friend. my closest friend. i can
t rust
him
"Of course, I do.
But, of course,
I can't help but feel responsible
I can't help but feel responsible
for this whole mess
in the first place.
in the first place.
However, what use is there to me
blaming the monster
that's truly at fault?
I suppose that's in the past now.
I suppose that's in the past now.
You forget, Sam,
that this all could have been
a product of...
careful misdirection.
The product of the Devil
whispering in your ear.
Or someone else's,
for that matter.
I have never been a gambling man,
you know that.
But a bet against the
Crimson King
Crimson King
having his grubby fingers
where they did not belong
is a stupid bet indeed.
You know how he is, Sam.
What he can do.
For all we know,
the entire situation
was just misinformation
built upon
a foundation
of lies."
"I... supposeit's possible that
The Author was mislead somehow?
I don't know what to think.
Everything just seems so...
complicated lately.
So very complicated..."
"As if it wasn't
complicated enough before."
complicated enough before."
such a kind smile
such a welcome
contrast
to the blistering storm outside
such a welcome
contrast
to the blistering storm outside
"But you've never really been one
to give up, have you?
Not with Alex or Leo
and certainly not now."
"...I kknow that he...isn't dead.
He can't be dead.
There's no possibl e way.
Valtiel claims he is...
but one can hardly trust
a snake tongue,
riight...?"
"Yes, I'd be inclined
to agree with you.
If not The Tree,
what has our Red Friend
even been killed by?
No, he's probably taking
his sweet time
dismantling all semblance
of order we used to have.
It's disgusting, isn't it?
How quickly he turns
to chaos as a solution
to a question
that nobody is asking...."
he suddenly turns to me
puzzled
"But here's
the real problem, Sam.
What if it wasn't Author
who was misled...?"
What are you doing?
being satisfied
in a bed of lies?
"The Author...
said...
that he
couldn't
help me...?"
"...help me
with
what...?
It doesn't make any
SENSE!"
"it just wwon't STOP!
"DDid...
my stomach
gives a twist
gives a twist
"I...
...I... suppose it's possible?
I am merely
humann.
humann.
As capable of being
deceived as
an yone.
an yone.
But how?
In what way?
Those Proxies had come for me.
They had
an arrest warrant for me
issued by The Author.
They tortured me.
They were trying to find out
where they were.
Alex and Leo.
I couldn't
tell them that.
I couldn't...!"
pound
and pound
and pound
and CLAWING at ny s skull
mmy EYE
ny e ye iis B BURNNING
"...then tthat...
...sna ke came...
and made everything
a million times
worse.
Just
Just
Amber
Eyed
Snakes...
the bboth
of them..."
"It's interesting
that you use 'Snake' to
describe one,
and 'The Devil' to
describe the other.
You've got to wonder
if maybe you've got it
the wrong way around.
Think, Sam!
Why would your subconscious mind
make that association
between the two of them? "
speechless
i'm speechless
I don't know whattt
it n ever
i'm speechless
I don't know whattt
it n ever
it never made sense
i know that
i had always known that
so little of it all
so little of it all
actually made sense
but it split my
but it split my
skull
to even ju
"What are you missing?
If...
no
when they tortured you,
were they really looking
for something
so simple?"
hammering
beating
BURNING
my mind
to even...
why had The Author singled me out?
why had he issued a warrent
instead of just...
asking me to come in?
why had it all
spooked him so much?
why had it been put
on such top priority
when t here were so much
bigger
things
to wworry about?
i t nnever mad e sen
"...You can't trust anyone, Sam i t nnever mad e sen
You can't trust me.
You can't trust Redlight.
You can't trust Redlight.
And you sure as Hell
can't trust yourself.
What are you doing?
being satisfied
in a bed of lies?
This isn't like you!"
theres a
suddden
FLASH
a glimpse
a shadow
an impression
of somethi ng
that felt
true
"The Author...
said...
that he
couldn't
help me...?"
it diidn't
add
up
"...help me
with
what...?
It doesn't make any
SENSE!"
the t orture had been
exxperimen tal
buy whyy?
why bother go to that
lengt?h
why isolatem e
from the other prsioners?
why take
so m many precautions?
why had there been sso
MANY
involved?
too mmuch
to many
m any
questions
"I can't think!
I can't THINK
pastt
this damn headache!"
pastt
this damn headache!"
im ppacing again
back
and
forth
and
forth
and
back
stirring dust
on the
splitting
Cafe
floor
"it just wwon't STOP!
What couldn't The Author
help me with?
help me with?
Why is so much focused on me?
First Red,
then The Author,
now Valtiel...
or Valtiels, rather...
why?
WHY?!
WHY?!
Things don't get
this complicated.
this complicated.
Not THIS complicated!
I'm NOTHING!
I'm a Servant!
A damn high school teacher
for the love of God..."
"I know it's hard."
he sound
so much mor e
distant now
so much mor e
distant now
as if he was
so far away
"But you're running out of time, Sam.
You've made a terrible mistake...
in assuming
that your memories
that your memories
could be trusted.
I wouldn't feel too badly about it.
You're human,
and that's all you can be.
To expect yourself
to have questioned
your recollections sooner
is a waste of time.
But that doesn't mean
you can keep pretending
you aren't nnoticing the
cra
cks."
But that doesn't mean
you can keep pretending
you aren't nnoticing the
cra
cks."
he swallows
seemingly finding it
hard to continue
hard to continue
even as i
slowly come to a halt from my
p a c i n ggg
myy gaunt lett
l e aning against a
support
b
e
a
m
my head pulsing with each
word I hheard
"Just iggnore
the headache for a s econd.
the headache for a s econd.
Doesn't this all seem too...
convenient?
convenient?
The minute you'd want
revenge on The Devil,
a new Snake shows up...
for what?
I'm going
to be frank here,
Sam,
to be frank here,
Sam,
please forgive me,
but you're nothing special.
You're right:
you shouldn't have attracted
any attention whatsoever."
"So what
he grimaces,
holding his own head,
fingers gripping tight enough
to turn their tips
pure white.
"So what
could have
possibly happened
possibly happened
that would suddenly
make you
a person of interest...?"
a siic knesss
ch u rni n g
inside
a Fear
b e n e athe
the P A I N
b e n e athe
the P A I N
What ccan i
t trust
t trust
if not my own
mindd?
mindd?
m y own
memmories?
memmories?
when did things
start
start
to stop
making sense?
"...Redlight disappeared.
He disappeared and...
there was suddenly this
tornado
that replaced him..."
that replaced him..."
i feel
so weak
i want to sit down
i nee d to si
"DDid...
Au
thor think...
thor think...
I knew wh where he wwas?
What he was...
ddoing?"
"arre yyoou... aallright?
I didn't.
I'm sorry, that
was... an aaccident
I mmeant...
i meanntt...
a....
....no...
no, it's not possible.
"Two years ago,
he ran out into the road
N-NO!
youre wwrog!
Leo...
Leeo w-was pplay ing
i ssaw him
i i saw mmy
booy
i...
he....
he rran
t o me"
i
f r o m
GETITOUTOFME
"GGodd
nno
c-certificate...
his....
oh God
God
pplease noo
mm y
boy
he wwas j ust aa
BOY...!!
myy
bboy
mmy
bbaby boy..."
was...
my best friend...
everything
evretihng
RED
RED
RED
RED
RED
RED
RED
RED
RED
RED
RED
RED
RED
RED
RED
RED
RED
RED
RED
RED
RED
RED
RED
no
RED
NO
NO GETOUTT
GGET OUT
"EExcell
ent."
ent."
he panted
just the same as mme
a mirror
of the pain
and
exhuastion
i felt gnawing away
inside
just the same as mme
a mirror
of the pain
and
exhuastion
i felt gnawing away
inside
"What would that
have to do with
have to do with
'helping you',
however?
Author is a straightforward man.
He wouldn't say
anything he didn't-"
he's cut off
by another
s
t
a
b
of pain
shooting
splitting
burning
s
t
a
b
of pain
shooting
splitting
burning
through his skull,
a silent whimper
on the edge of his breath.
I sta
gg
er
grabbing hold
of the b
e
a
m
to support me
as i fight against
the sudden S
P
I
K
E
B O L T I N G
through
my
skull
out
my
EYE
everything
spinning
sway
ingg
barely
standing
gg
er
grabbing hold
of the b
e
a
m
to support me
as i fight against
the sudden S
P
I
K
E
B O L T I N G
through
my
skull
out
my
EYE
everything
spinning
sway
ingg
barely
standing
stomach
t
w
i
s
t
i
n
g
"arre yyoou... aallright?
My ffriiend...?
WWinston...?"
"-mean."
he finally finishes
straining.
"I'm fine.
Everything's going t
o be
okay
o be
okay
as long as we
keep
going.
keep
going.
eeven a ssuming
Author's comment
meant nothing.
meant nothing.
why wouldn't Leo
have been used
have been used
to control you before this?
The information
was not that hard to find.
Children lleave
paper trails,
paper trails,
no matter what.
Someone who knew what to look for
could have found the signs."
he's shaking
so
badly
just
like me
"Unless
they hit a dead
end, Sam.
end, Sam.
Unless there was nothing
more
to
look
for."
Or is 'desperate' a better word?
"No, they...
"...he was my little boy.
I'm nothing special.
I wasn't even
trained.
I'm not..."
to
look
for."
I shook my head.
Slightly
at first
at first
then a touch more firm.
Or is 'desperate' a better word?
"No, they...
they wouldn't
have known.
have known.
They couldn't have known.
I didn't give my name.
Not my real one.
'Freeman' is a lie.
My favorite
actor.
Nothing more.
actor.
Nothing more.
Leo...
was protected.
I kept him safe.
That was always
top priority.
Always.
He stayed safe.
He..."
He..."
a sickening feeling
stirred in my stomach.
this i wrong.
this is
so
so
wrong...
"...he was my little boy.
he was so young...
why...
would they
would they
have even looked?
You said it yourself.
I'm nothing special.
I wasn't even
trained.
I'm not..."
"... Sam.
Why did you use past tense?"
"I...
I didn't.
I'm sorry, that
was... an aaccident
I mmeant...
i meanntt...
it...
it was...
an accident....
a....
....no...
no, it's not possible.
it's not!
I held him!
I HELD HIM!
I was WITH him!
He remembered me,
Winston
He said he'd missed me!
He wanted to come home!
He...!
He...
my bboy...
mmy..."
it all hu
rts so mu cch
"....Wiins
tton.....?
whattss
hhappennig
t to
m ee...?
I held him!
I HELD HIM!
I was WITH him!
He remembered me,
Winston
He said he'd missed me!
He wanted to come home!
He...!
He...
my bboy...
mmy..."
it huurts
it all hu
rts so mu cch
"....Wiins
tton.....?
whattss
hhappennig
t to
m ee...?
"Leo's dead."
voice like a quiet breeze
in the stagnant air
of the cafe.
No, it's a bar, isn't it...?
"Two years ago,
he ran out into the road
and was mowed down
by someone minding
their own business.
Nobody was at fault.
Nobody was at fault.
His foster parents
were inconsolable.
Fate dealt him a cruel hand.
Declared dead at the scene.
Just another dead deer
at the side of the road.
A statistic.
A tragedy.
That's what's going on, Sam.
You're living a LIE!"
"...nno.
N-NO!
youre wwrog!
Leo...
Leeo w-was pplay ing
i ssaw him
i i saw mmy
booy
i...
he....
he rran
t o me"
sha kki n g
i
evve rythiing
jjust...
i could f eel the bblood
from my nails
grripping my
s
k
u
l
l
i
w
a
n
t
t
o
R
I
P
i
t
f r o m
m
y
F - L - E - S - H
its wrong
its lies
its not REAL
GETITOUTOFME
"GGodd
nno
I
hhad
hiim.
I...
...sstop it...
hhad
hiim.
I...
...sstop it...
...stop it.
S T O P I T !!!"
"...Let me tell you a story, Sam.
A Proxy goes
to their only friend
to their only friend
on a dark and stormy night.
The Proxy's friend says that its important.
That the Proxy has been acting...
strange.
Tell me..."
his voice sounds
so
strange
so
strange
but
familiar...?
"What did your friend show you that night?
What could have possibly
been so important?"
been so important?"
a shudder passed
t h r o u g h me
r at tlin g me
ra tt ling like the roof
the walls
the floor
the world
pulling
from its base
coming
l
l
o
o
s
e
falling apart, don't you mean?
"....hiis...
dde ath
c-certificate...
his....
oh God
God
pplease noo
mm y
boy
he wwas j ust aa
BOY...!!
myy
bboy
mmy
bbaby boy..."
"You had been acting like he was alive."
that voice keeps twisting. so unlike him.
pacing around me.
circling me
constricting around
unforgiving eyes
never leaving me
ever
"So your friend confronted you. Showed you the evidence.
Said you were delusional.
Said you were delusional.
Explained that The Author had never sent you into any suicide mission
help you get your life back...."
as punishment, but rather because you were the only one that could even come close to handling the job. That your allegiance towards the Red Devil had... changed you. That he was twisting everything around on you and turning his 'Jester' into a real life Fool. And when your friend finally finished
talking... when he placed a hand on your shoulder
and quietly stated that he would help you through this,
help you get your life back...."
i felt the floorboards hit my knees
the palms of my hands
everything coming up at me in a rush of movement that
flooded over my mind. plunging me into ice and
heat and tearing storms of blood and screams and restraints on my wrists and ankles and chest as i begged the Author to kill me. i didn't want to go back i didn't want to get swallowed by the RED. it choked me until i couldn't breath couldn't think couldn't SEE what was right before my eyes until there were circles of bruises with eyes that never closed. only stared. only stared up at me as my fingers closed tighter around that throat. that throat that pulse that LIFE that is...was...
my best friend...
and i did'nt stop
until it did
"...I killed him."
all lies
all been nothing
but
lies
everything
is
RED
s p ll in t e r i ng in tto
s moth ering
overr
infect
i
n
g
inF ESTii ng
evretihng
EVVERYTHING
jusst REDD
RED
RED
RED
RED
RED
RED
RED
RED
RED
RED
RED
RED
RED
RED
RED
RED
RED
RED
RED
RED
RED
RED
RED
no
RED
NO
NO GETOUTT
GGET OUT
GETOUTOFMYHEAD!!!!
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